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I think the first stripey dress would look off with your DH in a tux. I second Ash's suggestion. That sundress is just a little more dressy in my opinion.

I think the striped dress is too casual. Would get something a little dressier like @Ash posted.

I would go for a more dressy outfit tahn the stripped dress, what about something like this and you could wear it with boots or sandals to dress it down:

http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=957220022&MasterCategory_Id=MC3

http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=94550910537&MasterCategory_Id=MC44&green=2ddff400-5820-333e16-8f32-8d8ce5ba0de3

I agree, I'd rather be over dressed than underdressed.

@MrsTiz: I think that one is perfect. Easily dressed up or down, and not too fitted at all without being tent like. And it would look nice with flat pretty sandals OR cowboy boots.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall at this affair. It sounds like it will be entertaining!

I think the longer one you posted would be good The other was probably a bit to casual.

@MrsTiz: the blue dress would look best with your husbands tux!

@Happygal: Agreed! Sounds like bride wants the guests in casual attire while she and wedding party are fairly formal! Kinda odd.

@MrsTiz: this is sounding so very bad. I was going to tell you not to go, since they aren't trying at all to make you fee welcome, until I read that it is before your anniversary. And she kind of sounds like the bride that would hate you for life if you bowed out. I'm sorry!

Try to imagine you're an anthropologist studying crazy brides when you're there. Maybe that will help a smidge. And take lots of pictures.

What an awful first anniversary! You can't even drink to pretend have fun...

I give you credit.. I would be feigning illness and instead ordering in food at the hotel in my pajamas, taking a bubble bath an watching movies/taking advantage of any free wifi... Besides sound like the bride is really too wrapped up in herself to really care and your being completely separated from your husband.

Anyways i think you would look lovely in all of the above, just go for the one you feel most comfy with physically!

@MrsTiz: You are nicer than I am. If I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner with my husband neither of us would go. You don't invite one spouse to a social engagement and not the other.