If you forgot to do something, what response do you prefer from you spouse?
Examples would be forgetting to put leftovers in the fridge, taking reusable bags to the grocery store, etc. Small things.
-
For the most part I'd want him to tell me! I think its all about tone and delivery. If you're coming from a place of caring and kindness then of course I'd want to be reminded of something I forgot.
-
the blunt/direct way. I don't need things softened for the most part! Especially something as mild as this.
-
I'm trying to think of an example of when I think it would be helpful to be told or reminded, but I'm coming up blank. We're all adults here and people forget things sometimes - I feel like a reminder or pointing out that they forgot to do something is probably just nagging, unless it's something they forget ALL THE TIME and need some serious assistance to remember. Otherwise, what's the point? It would probably just make them feel bad.
For example, my husband gets up with the kids in the morning to bring them to daycare and he gives Xander some hemp milk with his breakfast before they go. One day I came home and the whole carton of hemp milk was just sitting on the counter, so I knew he had just forgotten to put it away. I had to dump the whole thing out, but I didn't really see the point of pointing it out to him or trying to remind him that next time he needs to put it away - he knows! It was an accident and we all forget things sometimes. I feel like pointing it out would've just been to make him feel bad, which would be pointless.
-
We both like to be reminded for next time: "Hey, by the way, you did/forgot to do x,y,z"
-
If it's worth pointing out we both do. Otherwise he's prob better at not mentioning it than me!
-
@blackbird: @Autumnmama79: @Adira: @snowjewelz: I forgot to add if this is for an occurrence that happens frequently. I normally like to be told if i forgot, but this past week DH has been telling me every day, sometimes 2x a day that i forgot something and it's making me a little edgy!!
@Adira: Very rational thinking - you're too nice!
-
@Freckles: Ok yes, I had a feeling thats where you were going with this
That sounds super annoying and I would have to tell DH to stop!
-
I don't mind him just telling me I forgot as long as it's not done in an accusatory tone or something. He tells me I forgot to do xyz and I apologize and then that's it...and vice versa. If he were to carry on for a while about how I forgot and make a huge deal out of it then I'd be annoyed. I also actually find it more annoying to be told "Hey next time remember to..." because it seems passive-aggressive:
-
@Autumnmama79: It's been hard the last couple of weeks so i need some objective/rational feedback.
@IRunForFun: Haha, that's funny because i find, "you forgot to take the bags, huh?" passive aggressive.
-
@Freckles: Oh phrased that way it does sound passive-aggressive haha. I was thinking more just like "Oh you forgot to take the bags, whoops!"
-
@Freckles: I am totally that annoying person sometimes. I keep reminding myself to not be so naggy! If I look within myself, it doesn't really come from a nice/constructive place, so I don't think you're off for feeling the way you do! It could be that maybe your DH feels like you're not listening to him and that's why you're forgetting?
-
@Freckles: oh I wouldn't infer that if my DH said it. I know when I'm forgetful and I always just shrug it off! As long as I don't, you know, forget the kids at daycare
-
I like the blunt, Hey you forgot instead of "next time can you..." that second one makes me feel like I'm being told what to do. I don't like that very much.
-
Blunt...I get annoyed otherwise!
That sounds super annoying and I would have to tell DH to stop!
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
14 comments