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I needed time after pregnancy and bfing for a year the first time. But this time of we ever decide on going ahead w baby 3 i want to be pregnant before ds2 is 1. We love the 2.5 gap and I def wasn't ready mentally before then. But now I want a smaller gap if we decide to have a third.

I used to think three years but now that I have a three year old I'm glad I don't have a newborn. I voted 4 because everyone tells me 4 is easier. I hope they are right, LO2 is due a few months before her 4th bday.

2 years. I'm sad we missed the boat on it.

3 years. My older LO is going to be old enough to be pretty independent when LO2 comes. And I never wanted to have two in diapers.

I voted 1.5 years but I think just under 2 is good. At that point the older one is no longer fully a baby but not old enough to really remember a time before the younger sibling or to be too jealous. Plus they can play together and do a lot of the same activities, have the same friends, etc. You are also close enough to the baby stag that it's not a huge shocker to go through it again. My boys are 20 months apart and it's really great. I would have liked to have a third with similar spacing but I hated having a newborn in the summer so we will wait a little longer and home a 2+ year gap is good too!

@Mamasig: omg did I miss an announcement?!

Mine will be almost 3.5 years apart, and I'm pretty stoked about it. I like that E is nearly potty-trained, he seems to get the idea that he's having a baby sister (and is pretty excited about it, he talks about her all the time and likes to listen to her heartbeat). He'll be able to help us feed her and help me change her, and he already sings to her. Financially speaking, we'll have little overlap with daycare costs. And honestly, I wasn't ready for a second for a long time.

However, if we were having 3+ I would probably have wanted them closer together (but no closer than 2 years).

I think closer to 2 years would have been nice but we're ending up with 3, which is pretty good too. I think too much under 2 years seems a little rushed for me.

@simplyfelicity: savoring the babyhood is a good point! I feel like I practically missed everything in the first trimester because I felt so crappy and I wasn't able to enjoy her. It happens with any spacing but I'm glad she wasn't tiny.

I would never say 2 years, I think 3 would be ideal!

I can't really vote yet bc my second isn't here yet, but I think anywhere from 2.5-3.5 is an ideal time. Mine will be 2 months shy of 3 years apart. My LO is independent, sleeping good, can communicate with me, and will be able to "help" out with the baby. Mentally and physically, I do not think I could have done anything under a 2 year gap.

I voted 2.5 years. Ours are 2 years apart and that extra 6 months would have been handy to get LO1 potty trained first.

We have almost exactly 2.5 years apart right now, and it's so new still, but happy with how mature and able we are to communicate and reason with LO1 now. The past couple of months have shown a lot of growth with her, so I think that made a big difference! DH would have preferred 4 years apart for financial reasons for schooling.

I said 3.5 years because I'm undecided about 3-4 years. I don't thrive in chaos. At all. And I think a toddler + newborn sounds like chaos. I'm less concerned about "starting over" and more concerned about not hating life when/if we have #2. Not that people who have 2 under 2 hate life... but I think they are better/more patient people than I am lol. I want #1 to be old enough to pretty consistently tell me what she wants, understand quiet time, understand and be excited about a baby, and be beyond the "oh shit I can't not watch her for literally 30 seconds or she'll catapult herself over the back of the couch" phase.

Ours are 20 months apart and I love it. She's almost 4 months and he loves her so damn much, it just makes my heart happy.

There's no such thing as ideal spacing in my opinion. Mine are 13 months apart and frankly it's been AWESOME which I never thought would be ideal. I also know people who have had a three year (or more) gap and that has been great for them, too. And I also know people who have had all sorts of other gaps and it's been tough for various reasons. I think personalities and situations really play a part into whether something is ideal or not and when you being a new life into the world you're not really going to know how it's going to play out for a bit.

We're going to TTC in November so if that were to work out my 2nd and 3rd would be 25 months apart -- I'm really interested to see what that gap would be like since the other gap is a full year sooner.

Our kids will be 25 months apart, and I think it will be pretty ideal. I'd have liked them to be a bit further apart, so that K was potty trained- so maybe 2.5 years?

I agree everyone's situation is different. I voted 3.5 years. My OB said it would take 1-2 years for my body to recover and replenish for a second pregnancy, especially with breastfeeding thrown into the mix. Plus I just couldn't deal with 2 with one a young toddler. I like the idea of spending lots of one on one time with each kid, giving undivided attention to a baby while the older kid is in preschool or pre-k or something. Sometimes I look at my 2 year old and the thought of dividing my time breaks my heart. So I guess I'm not mentally there yet, lol!