I'm sure this is somewhere, but I wasn't sure what key words to use to search!
what do you wish you knew before having your second?
what do you feel are the pros and cons of having your second when you did?
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Just how much harder the pregnancy would be physically the second time. While I had really bad morning sickness and swelling with my first, I felt a lot more active and able to move around easily. With my second, besides being sick exactly the same as before, it was a challenge to move and be active- especially chasing around a 2 year old, I just could not keep up with his bursts of speed. That said, labor and recovery have been super easy the second time.
Also that just because my first came early, that doesn't mean my second would. I was very dilated for weeks, but the little monster wouldn't budge! Some elements of the pregnancy were the same (morning sickness, blood pressure issues) and others were wildly different (when labor started, baby positioning, swelling, activity level).
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@lemondrop: how far apart are they in age? what do you like (and dislike) about age difference?
(can you tell what's been on my mind?!)
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@sorrycharlie: I'm super excited for you guys!
Mine are 26 months apart- we wanted them anywhere from 1 1/2-2 years apart ideally initially. Many of our cousins have kids that are 2 years apart and they are really happy with that spacing.
I am really happy that it took longer than we planned, I can't imagine trying to carry around a non-walker or a less skilled walker while pregnant or carrying around an infant with a non-walking toddler. However- at this point C has an extra burst of speed that I had a hard time keeping up with while pregnant. He is also starting a super independent streak and fighting me about a lot of things ("no, you can't put on my diaper now... not now... not now... ok, now you can")
As far as handling a new sibling, he is taking some time to adjust, he's a little scared of his brother and even though we talked about it and tried to prepare him, he really doesn't "get it" yet. It's taken the full 3 weeks so far for him to warm up and show more interest in E, he also constantly wants to jump on his brother or poke him in the face. I'm sure before much longer he won't even remember a time without his little brother around. And really, no matter when you introduce a new sibling, they will always have an adjustment time period.
One of my mommy friends from our boys' swim class said that her toddler has regressed in sleeping in his bed and potty training since their new sibling arrival- both things that we never even bothered attempting figuring that C wasn't ready for either just yet and that we didn't want to have to re-train any of those things.
Hope that helps, there are pros and cons to every age difference, but E was definitely our missing piece
Did you see Mrs. Cowgirl's age gap post? http://www.hellobee.com/2014/03/21/mind-the-age-gap/
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@sorrycharlie: nothing to add, but i just love you asking this
i am so exciting for you to have another one!
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@sorrycharlie: hooray!!!!
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You prob know what I'll say...nothing! I'm seriously so glad we just took the plunge! DS is so loving on his sister, granted that all could change, but it has been such a blessing having two little ones and the transition has been easy. It's a challenge being pregnant and having a toddler but it goes by incredibly quick.
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I'm curious to hear how people respond to this, as well. I'm currently pregnant with my third child. However, there's a huge gap between the first two: 13 yrs old and 20 months old. So I honestly do not feel like I have true insight on what it's like to be a mom of two since my daughter is totally self-sufficient. She just needs me for a little hw support here and there and as her personal taxi driver lol!
When my third is born, my son will be about 26 months old... I know another sibling will not be much of an adjustment for the 13yr old, but it definitely will be for the 26 month old!
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Following! We missed the boat this month and are more ntnp but still! I know many on here have kids much closer together but I'm still a little nervous about a 27ish month gap. But we are finally feeling "ready" to do this again... It'd be awesome to have another sept/fall '12 mama along for the ride!!
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I'm still pregnant with my second at almost 33 weeks. I don't know how it will be when he gets here yet. But I can say 2nd pregnancy had been much easier than the 1st was - at least physically. It's only been within the past week or so that I can feel myself slowing down and wishing I could do more with DS. Each pregnancy can be so different.
Mine will be 20 months apart. I know it will be hard but I'd rather have them close in age. I think I'll be happy about it when they are older.
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I had a lot of anxieties and worries before my 2nd was born which I blogged about. I wont link but you can always find them. Good luck, going from 1-2 is no where near as hard as 0-1 in my opinion
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I wish someone warned me that I would NEVER. SLEEP. AGAIN.
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: hahaha ain't that the truth
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I am only 9 days into this parenting 2 thing, but the transition so far is a cakewalk compared to transitioning from 0 to 1. DS is 20 months and hasn't been phased by the arrival of DD. he kisses and hugs her and wants to hold her. She has been a pretty easy baby thus far so that helps a ton. I was so nervous about the transition before so I wish I had known it would be pretty easy!
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Ours are 21 months apart. I blogged about this as well, in the early days of having two. I felt like I had an easier transition from 0-1 than 1 to 2, though the pain of the transition was shorter in adding a second. It might have been because we adopted, so our daughter didn't have physical cues to help her prepare.
Also, with one there is always one person with free hands, and with two I found it incredibly frustrating that a bad day could bring everything else to a grinding halt! Having said that, we gained the ability to have them entertain each other, which has been very helpful as M. has gained independence.
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I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my second, and never thought it would be this tough.
I don't have the luxury of napping when I'm tired, and it was pretty rough having morning sickness while chasing a 2 year old. I got uncomfortable faster & ache more easily.
I'm mostly just tired all the time.
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My first and second are 22 months apart and I LOVE the age difference. DD was never jealous of the new baby because she was too young and couldn't remember a time without him yet she was old enough to be a little self-sufficient. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be at first, because there were times when DS just had to cry while I attended to DD. And, two years into it, I'm still surprised at how different it is raising a toddler vs raising a toddler with a preschooler (ie the bathroom was closed all the time when DD was a toddler, but now that DD is potty trained it can't be closed all the time to stop DS going in and playing with the toilet, sink, toilet paper etc).
And, if you want to take the plunge in ever more, going from 2 to 3 is even EASIER!
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@lemondrop: @mrs. bird: @MrsMccarthy: DH is more on board than I am! I am getting cold feet!
@matador84: oh my gosh. remember when we were talking LO1 births, and wondering if your second would be as fast? I am now terrified to have my second! lol!
@googly-eyes: we likely will start in the summer..ahh!
@MamaBehr: lol I am lucky DH wants a 2nd! we'll see what he thinks of a 3rd..vasectomy or baby roulette. his choice!
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I would say that for me being pregnant with a toddler was harder than having two, but a year later it is paying off because they play together all the time!
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@MamaBehr: I love your response! If all goes well, mine will be 22 months apart and your post really reassured me!
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@sorrycharlie: so exciting!!!
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