Hellobee Boards

I think the reason you hear a lot of "switch immediately" is because whatever's being posted about is the responder's dealbreaker situation (or perhaps they ARE that picky).

I fired like four midwives/OBGYNs before I got my last two (one retired), who took my concerns about my repeat miscarriages seriously. I fired my son's first very well regarded pediatrician because he was condescending to me about my son's constant screaming (like you're a first time mom, babies are hard, etc). Our current pediatrician was like UHHH your kid has severe reflux and is obviously colicky, you are not crazy.

I think the thing about providers and your kids is that YOU have to be comfortable. If you feel comfortable with your daycare because you feel like your kid is safe there and that you can work with them on your issues, then whatever. But if you just don't have that feeling or the issue is a hot button for you, then its just not gonna work.

I just fired our regular sitter last week and it wasn't because she did something blatantly egregious, but after working with her for a year (she'd come over like twice a month) and talking to her openly about some of our concerns, we still just didn't feel totally comfortable with her. She was kind to our kids and they liked her, so she was gobsmacked that we fired her, but I told her ultimately childcare is a lot about fit and comfort and if the parent can't be made 100% comfortable, for whatever reason, there isn't anything to do but move on. My son will have to adjust to a new sitter some day and he may miss her, but I'd rather my kid readjust to a new provider than have me feel some lingering sense of discomfort.

Our son's daycare, on the other hand, is not the fanciest or the most expensive or high tech in town, but I sat on a waitlist for that place and sent my kid to another daycare that I wasn't super pumped for 9 months until he got a slot there. Yes my son had to adjust again in a short amount of time, but it was overall a better fit for him and for us as the parents. The classes are small, the teachers are WONDERFUL, the kids get to play hard outside almost every day, they do lots of messy art projects, and the student body is super diverse in terms of socioeconomics, race and ethnicity, disability, and special needs. DH and I feel 100% comfortable there with our son and while I'm not thrilled with EVERYTHING they do (like snack choices), they are always open to communication and parent feedback, which is key for me.

Number one, people are probably quick to suggest a switch bc to them its hypothetical and they don't have to do the work! Also I think people just react more harshly online in general.

However, obviously there are times when a change is called for. We switched my daughter's pedi because I just didn't get the greatest vibe from the first one, she was a bit awkward with me and she never seemed to remember anything about my daughter (Like just from reviewing her chart before coming in). When we had a sick visit with another dr I liked her better so switched to her. I had randomly picked the first one at the practice so I felt not obligation to stay with her (though of course I did feel bad about it).

I am not 100% happy with everything about my daughters daycare, but I know she is safe and I like her actual teachers, and she is on the waiting list for a different place near our home so I'm fine with the situation for now.

This is kind of lame but in a certain way I just go with my gut. If I feel like I can't trust them for whatever reason, I leave. That's mostly it.

I've switched my PCP because I felt that my old one wasn't paying enough attention (appts. were 5 minutes max and he said if I wanted to get better from a sinus infection I needed to stop nursing), my eye doctor when they said it looked like I had chlamydia of the eye and I needed to have a conversation with my husband, and most recently, we decided to stop seeing one of the pediatricians in our practice because she reported both us and our daycare to CPS because of a scratch on my infant's ear.

I'm not big on switching in general because I'm lazy but also you never know what you're going to get at the new place. Better the devil you know... Early in my pregnancy I considered switching my OB because he was a bit condescending and never seemed to remember me. I posted here and a lot of bees told me to switch. I stuck it out and am glad I did. He got to know me better and I really trusted him.

As Po said, it really is a gut/instinct thing. I would only switch if my gut was really telling me to bounce outta there.

I'd say that I would switch once I can't trust the provider.

I switched from an OB to my midwife practice when my OB said, "I really love surgery!!" in response to me asking her if she would support my attempt at a med-free birth. Girl, bye.

Funny enough, we left the practice that @youboots now uses, because a doctor there laughed at a major concern I had, and she told me I needed to start my baby on solids at 4 months old (she retired a few months later).

Our new family doc is great, except she hates gluten and seems to relate it to every ailment.

For me, it's a gut feeling. If I felt my child was in danger at daycare, I'd find something else. When I felt like her doc wasn't acknowledging any of my concerns, we switched. But, my acupuncturist left two needles in me one time (which friends have flippantly mentioned they would never go back), but to me, it's not worth the work to find someone new.

Honestly, it would take a lot, because our town's more natural leaning providers are in high-demand. The ped we originally wanted had a 6 YEAR wait list.

@littlejoy: holy crap 6y???

@junebugsmama: I know!! I was so shocked when I heard that. He has a beard and wears flannel ... apparently he's all the rage. I'm ok with the Gluten Warrior for now, haha.

I expect high-quality care and I have to trust their competence and feel comfortable.

I really like my OB, she isn't very personable, but I trust her completely. Plus she is always on time and her office is close to my house.

I used a different OB before finding my current one, and it was an immediate NOPE. I waited over an hour to see the doctor (and I had an early morning appt), no explanation from him when I finally did get in. The nurse during intake was very rude and told me they wouldn't be performing the (minor) procedure I had scheduled (the sole reason for me being there), because it was not okay'ed by my insurance yet. I knew it would be covered and that I didn't need pre-authorization, but why didn't you call me then, before the appt??? They were concerned with getting reimbursed I bet. I rarely get upset at people to their face (pushover here), but I did let her know they should have called me, and she was a bitch back to me. So I thought....I'm not going to trust your office. As I left, there were about 6 women waiting to see him in the waiting room. They had a LONG wait I am sure.

So glad I found my current provider!

I switched OBs for multiple reasons.

They were ALWAYS running behind (even for morning appointments). I used to make excuses and try to remember that if I was a patient who needed more of my doctor's time, I would want them to spend the time with me.

But after a while I realized it wasn't that. They were just constantly overbooked. And they couldn't remember visit to visit what my history was (one doctor kept asking about my kids at home even though I had none...only losses).

And after two losses, I felt like they weren't giving me enough attention.

I switched PCPs once because because no matter what, he always prescribed me the same things and I had recurrent sinus infections that weren't getting better.

In general, I just want communication. If there's a delay for a good reason, no problem. If you're not sure if I have living children, ask before assuming. If I'm worried about something, listen and don't dismiss it. If there's any possible testing, offer it, even if it might not be free. But at least let me know it's available and give me the option of paying for it (I also had to push the old OB to get a full RPL panel...because insurance "didn't always" cover it. Yet it did. imagine that)

@avivoca: That is insane!! I am so sorry you went through that.

@azjax: newbie residents are tough! Hopefully the OB ok'ed the resident beforehand with you. Mine at the RE's office did not. I almost felt bad for her inexperience. She started off with a cheery "So, what's been going on?" To which I responded with a flat "Nothing. That's why I am here."

The HIPPA stuff would have bothered me too. I hate when I can hear into another exam room.

I'm happy with daycare and pediatrician...

I did switch OB between first and second child. First OB was just okay; after the fact I realize I didn't love how they approach GD so I tried out a new OB based on a neighbor's recommendation and I stayed with her and was happy!