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Daycare. Keeping him in daycare while the youngest was at home helped with the transition. He knew that mommy and baby were home. For him, just being around the baby helped him with the concept of the whole thing. He helped change diapers, read to the baby, and do tummy time (by putting paper on the baby's head). At 3 years old, he got the concept pretty well.

Daycare. Keeping Xander going to daycare full-time and keeping up with his routine was definitely key. And the first 6-8 weeks were still a struggle. Also grandparents! Or anyone really that could come visit and give Xander some individual attention. That helped a TON. We talked about the baby a bit (and ready books) once I was really showing and Xander understood there was a baby in my belly, but I don't think it fully understood what that meant.

I think a lot of this is just so dependent on your kiddo's personality, but generally our older LO has adjusted beautifully to having a little sister, and we didn't do any prepping about what would change when the baby arrives. Someone gave us 1 big sister book and it was in our rotation for bedtime stories, but we didn't emphasize it in any way.

And we didn't keep LO1 in daycare while I was on maternity leave. That was just for us to save money, and because our daycare allows us to do that. She was home the whole first 6 weeks after I had LO2, and then I sometimes used my husband's back-up care to put her at Bright Horizons on Wednesdays, so I could go to a new mom's group. I think that actually helped her adjust to the new baby, because she didn't feel like I was sending her away in favor of keeping the baby with me. But it's definitely harder on the mom to keep both kids at home, haha.

I am a SAHM, so I didn't send my oldest to daycare or preschool when his brother was born. I can definitely see how keeping their routine is helpful, so it was probably hard on my son when his routine was being with me all the time, and then I started giving a lot of my time to his little brother. What helped was being patient with him and taking time when his brother was sleeping to spend one-on-one time playing together. His grandparents would take him one morning a week, so he got lots of attention during that time. It's impossible to know how your child will adjust to having a sibling, and sometimes, even if you do everything you can to make a smooth transition, they will still act out and be angry or sad. My son had some rough times in the beginning, but over time, he got much better.

My son has been amazing with our new baby. He was 2.5 when she was born. Things I think helped:
-lots of help at the beginning
-daily morning toddler school
-not visiting in the hospital. Personal preference but DS is very close to me and I thought he would freak out having to visit for a short time and then leave me and baby together and go away for another day.
-more recently, new Daniel Tiger episodes where he helps take care of the baby and stays quiet during her nap.

We are only 4 weeks in, but it's been going really well! Dani tiger episode was huge. She really got it and wants to be the big helper. And doesn't panic when her sister is crying.

Giving her attention helped too. So making sure visitors acknowledge her and family plays with her. Opening all baby presents away from her (she'd get sad when it wasn't for her). And having a little box of toys just for her when I'm with the baby and no one is here to play with her. She only gets those toys then and they are all play by yourself, no mess toys.

We talked about it a lot with our 2 year old (he was 2.5 when his brother was born) and read a lot of books about it.

We tried to make it something really special for HIM, telling him his role as a big brother and trying to make it sound fun for him to get excited about.

Also, the advice I was given from my grandmother was to really try to focus on the older child after the baby is born. Babies have small specific needs (eating, sleeping, diaper changes) in the beginning. Take care of those, and then focus attention on your older child. That helped us a lot to stave off jealousy.

We also made sure to get DS1 involved. "Can you bring me the wipes?", "Can you help me comb the babys hair?", "Can you pick out an outfit for him to wear?"....things like that, made DS1 feel included and helpful.

I'm not in it yet - but my induction is scheduled for tomorrow...here is our plan:

1) Baby Sister is bringing her a special gift
2) DD1 is staying in Daycare full time
3) Our plan is to keep evenings as "normal" as possible...DD1 gets home from DC around 5-515...can goes to bed at 7...so we just need to try to keep those 2 hours as stable as possible. We have talked about making it so nursing time is dinner time...when DD1 wont miss the interaction much.
4) When baby needs something - saying "hold on I'm with your big sister" as much as possible (as someone else mentioned) so she hears it both ways.
5) small gifts - just little tokens...these will not be given when baby gets a gift (I dont want to teach my daughter that just bc her sister gets a gift she does) but rather when she does something good or has a good day. A total bonus unrelated to sister getting gifts.
6) Encouraging family and visitors to make a big deal out of DD1 as well as the new LO
7) Special Mommy/Me and Daddy/Me time where we'll take her to do some of her fav things

Again...not in it yet...but these are my plans.