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We did CIO around 4 months out of desperation. It wasn't so much that we needed him to STTN (he was doing that around 7 weeks...we were so very lucky), but we were rocking him or bouncing him to sleep each night. And the second we set him down, he would open his eyes and the process would start all over again.
I had been trying to get him to go down for over an hour one night, and I just put him down. I couldn't do it anymore. That night he actually fell asleep within 20 minutes. We had some tough nights here or there, but we definitely learn his cries. I know when it's his tired, whiny cry vs. his "hello...poop in my diaper over here" cry. And I have to say, that now, a few days short of 6 months, he goes down no problem for us at night. We put him in his crib, he rolls over and just closes his eyes after singing to himself for a little while.
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hi! i'll just share our experience with sleep training :)!
we sleep trained with CIO at around 3 months. It took around a week or two. It was mainly for just falling asleep at bedtime, because by then he had dropped all night wakings already. I agree that we decided whether to let him cry long (30 mins +) or not based on his cries. Once in awhile it would certainly seem like he needed more cuddle-soothing/burping before being put down, and other times it just didn't seem like it. He has never pooped at night after the newborn phase so thankfully i didnt have to worry about a soiled diaper, and he was both breast and formula fed at the time, so i didn't worry that he hadn't had enough to eat. I can see why if you are exclusively bf'ing that might be harder to gauge!
Anyway, long story short, sleep training worked for us and he has been sttn (no wakings, 12hr sleep) since 3.5 months. He is now 10 months old and i think he's only woken up once since then at night? This is including cross country travelling etc. I think we got lucky with a generally sleeeeeppppyyy baby, but i remember those early weeks and lack of sleep was not a happy thing for either of us!
regardless of method, i hope everyone can get a decent night of sleep when they can!
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@mrbee: I've seen that before - but I'll be honest it doesn't/didn't jive with our LO - or at least not that we could tell. It is a neat idea though, and I'm glad it helps some parents.
@Beebug ZOMG that is so many wakings. I hope it goes well and you all get more sleep soon!
@fatkid I totally get the gist of what you're saying - but I guess I am personally uncomfortable asking my LO to work past gas troubles or hunger at this age and stage on his own, and like I said initially, I can't seem to tell with certainty so at this point I'm erring on the side of double checking - especially since he is EBF and I can't "know" if he got enough to eat during the day But I agree its a shift as a parent to try and remember to give him a chance to work through it
@tysonja that is awesome how it turned out, and an awesome attitude towards whatever works for each family. You're exactly right about EBF though... it makes it much harder to know if he could/should be hungry! Last week I was sick and felt like my supply dipped way down and he was waking 2 extra times to eat (instead of one, total). We were panicking that it was a regression or the new order of things but once I felt better and felt "fuller" he went right back to normal
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@scg00387: Thaaaaanks. I'm hurtin', and just learned it as our new normal. She goes down fabulously, naps well during the day, and as soon as paci goes back in, goes back to sleep right away (usually, but now she flips herself over or starts talking to herself at times) but it's just going in so.many.times. to put the paci in or else we pay.
Love her, but I'm over it!
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@Beebug: I cannot imagine. I've bemoaned my LO rejecting pacifiers because they seem to help so many fall asleep so fast and easily but... you're making me think I lucked out!
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@scg00387: In response to what you said about never knowing if he could be hungry - my LO is EBF as well and i actually use an app on my iphone that records how many minutes he drinks every day. It gives me a good indication if he has eaten enough because you see their patterns over time.
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@scg00387: i have this same question! i watched the video about the different cries and it has helped to some degree (at least i think it has), but i don't feel confident at all in my ability to differentiate my LO's cries. sometimes his "neh" sucking cry happens right after i feed him, and he wants to suck on his pacifier, not actually eat! so hard to tell. oh, i can tell when he's straining to fart--usually happens in the morning and he's squinching up his face and is pretty obviously straining. it's actually hard for me to watch because i can't do much--not like feeding him or changing his diaper.
i'm totally having the pacifier issue that @Beebug: mentioned--on one hand the pacifier is a godsend because it helps him soothe himself to sleep (and i prefer it to rocking him to sleep, which doesn't really happen anyway), but it's maddening going back and putting it in again and again. we are trying to wait a few minutes before going to put the pacifier back in.
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@PurpleUnicorn: I use babyconnect similarly - and not to disagree with you (because it is a good idea, and I'm glad it works for you!) but at least with my little guy it has more to do with his "focus" than length of time.. usually if he's eating for more than 10 minutes it's because he's taking his time to smile and play, not because he ate more
He typically eats around the same times but I worry about my supply when I'm sick or stressed know what I mean? Or if he's in a growth spurt that I am unaware of.@edelweiss can't help with paci because my LO doesn't take one but for the gas - have you tried bicycle legs/bending his knees to his chest? this is actually the first thing I do if my baby is fussing at night, while he's still in the crib. Frequently he will fart and pass back out without me even picking him up. He seems to be gassiest at 4/5 am - or that is when he's sleeping most lightly and it bugs him the most.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say...doesn't matter.
If my kid was fed, temperature was optimal, diaper dry, and no teeth poking through, then I assumed he was crying due to being overtired. Generally, picking him up and rocking only made him more overtired and the crying did not cease. That's how we knew when it was time to CIO. I always picked up if it had been 3-4 hrs since he last ate. Hunger was the thing I feared the most, but if he was crying after only 1 hr I felt confident knowing he was not. Once he started dropping meals I felt confident skipping those too.
Once they get older, though, their cries do get more obviously distinctive!
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a note about hunger -- it is often habit. if your baby is used to being fed at 12am, 3am, etc. their body gets hungry at that time. i never worried about hunger because both my kids so easily slept through the night without feedings even though i kept them when sleep training. they dropped them on their own once they learned how to put themselves back to sleep.
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@scg00387: i use the what to expect baby app and i just account for his distractedness. Like i put the timer, but when he pulls off or stops drinking, i stop timing. So i may only record 5 minutes, but we were sitting down to nurse for almost 20. And of course i still have my days when i worry about my supply for the same reasons you listed - if i am sick, growth spurts etc. It's just given me an average for the average days which I like.
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@edelweiss: we just sleep trained and did it without the paci. We did naps after 2-3 nights without it. We still let him have it when he's a little fussy, but never in the crib anymore. At 4.5 months he seems to be more interested in playing with it. He will suck on his thumb or fingers at times, but not that much.
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