Hellobee Boards

I really like my MIL. But it's not like we hang out without DH or LO or go shopping together and paint each others toenails

I have the perfect kind, like in the movies.

The trade off is that I have a difficult relationship with my own parents

Mine are okay.

I got really lucky with my inlaws. They love me like I'm their own, they defend me to people in their community (I'm biracial and the population is 99% white where they live), and they welcomed me with open arms into their family. Are there some things we need to work on? Absolutely, because no relationship is perfect, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.

I feel like I should rate them individually. As a person, FIL would rank lower, he's higher as an IL because he is less involved. MIL would prob rank higher as a person (not entirely sure), but she ranks lower as an IL because she is incredibly disrespectful & doesn't know when to back off.

I was once told to marry an orphan, I don't bother regretting most things (even big things that I should, like leaving college before I graduated), but I regret not following that piece of advice. I would never wish for anyone to be an orphan, but ILs complicate my life on ways I never thought possible.

I love my in laws. They are the best. my MIL is my best friend and when DH goes mountain biking near their house he drops me off and I spend the day with them. I spend more time with them than DH does. He usually asks me how his parents are doing LOL

@Shutterbug: I would jump out of a plane, without a parachute, if I were ever alone on a plane with her. Hell, I might throw myself out a window if we're alone in a room together. Last time we were in a room together, I had to firmly remind her to take her hands off me & if she couldn't control the volume of her voice she certainly couldn't control her words, in which case she should keep them to herself until she was in control. Yeah, we don't get along. At all.

They are ok. We just have nothing to talk about, at all. It just feels awkward to me. I know they mean well. There is some history but DH feels the same with his Dad and Step Mom. Sadly his Mom passed on before I met him.

Just glad that they live hours away so we don't have to see them very often.

I love them! They annoy me with small things but it's the same things my own family annoys me about, so it's nothing major. We get along great. My mom and mil are BFFs now!

@Danizaur: I feel like we have the same SIL/boyfriend. I wasn't including her in my description of my inlaws because she acts the same way you described yours. My FIL does tend to give in, but it's because she holds her kids over his head.

I'd have to rate them separately. I'd give FIL a 7 - he's really easygoing, and he's a great listener and good at.giving unbiased advice. He also has an awesome sense of humor.

I'd give MIL a 2 or 3. She's intrusive, she meddles, she manipulates, and she's the queen of guilt trips. She makes DH feel guilty for growing up and living his own life and "not having enough time for family anymore." (They live 4 hours away and we see them once or twice a month!!) I feel like she purposely tries to pit him against me sometimes. It's really frustrating. Blah.

In terms of NICENESS I'd say they are both an 8 because neither my MIL nor FIL has every been anything other than nice and welcoming to me. But I'm not sure that niceness alone is the end-all-be-all of a relationship.

Over-all I'd say my MIL is like a 6. She is really nice but I've never really connected with her. It may be because she lives far away and I don't see her much. But I also don't feel like she makes as much of an effort to see DH as she could/should and that kind of bugs me. (Like, we basically only see her if we go to her or pay for her to come to us).

My FIL.... eh... 4? He's nice but we just have nothing in common with him and his wife. It's so awkward spending time with them. And again, I think they have really weird values in terms of DH and how they treat him and his sister (example-- he follows his NIECE all over the country every weekend to watch her play golf, and he didn't see my nephew for 7 months after he was born because he didn't want to go to NY.... what?)

I gave them a 3, but it should probably be lower once I started thinking about it.

My MIL is passive aggressive and always says things that get under my skin. Example is J having hiccups the other night when she stopped over. "What did mommy eat to make you have hiccups? Is she not taking good enough care of you?" She is always complaining about how often she gets to see her son even though we live minutes away while my family lives 8 hours away. FIL doesn't do anything that interferes with his schedule and his wants.

A perfect example of their behavior is when DS was born. He was 5 weeks early and stayed in the hospital for a week. On day 4, DH was spending the night at the hospital with me (I was given a room because I was nursing). Both MIL and FIL were texting him to come over their house and hang out. They had cold beer and wanted to hear updates on DS. When he said he was staying with me, they couldn't understand why I wasn't able to stay alone so he could go over.

I have the movie kind! They are awesome. I found it really overbearing to begin with and Im still getting used to it (I don't have that kind of family myself)....

I totally hit the jackpot with my in-laws. I have several friends with the nightmare kind, so I do my best to be appreciative of the fact that they are awesome!

I have the best inlaws ever.
They're beyond incredible.
My parents love dh like a son and are great inlaws to him too!

@ABCmrs: I say this a lot! About his whole family...patents, brothers, their wives, his aunts...the only tricky one is his Gram, but she's a pill for everyone.

My ILs are involved without being over-bearing. Before I had E MIL and I would have the occasional girl-date. Shopping, an art gallery, lunch...

They had boys, so they think of and treat me and my SsIL like their daughters. I love them enough that I was okay with them being in the room when E was born.

I guess I could count myself lucky. My sister has in laws who live next door. Everytime I'm over visiting, her MIL just bursts on in anytime she likes. I would probably choke her!

They have some serious $$$ though!

I like my in-laws. They ask questions and show interest, but they mainly mind their own business. Or if MIL is getting to be a bit much, FIL will usually reign her in. There have been a handful of occasions where MIL drove me crazy, but honestly, i have it pretty good. The month they were here to help out was great -- they cooked and cleaned, and didn't even let me touch the dishes. Seriously, they said it was bad for me to touch cold water.

I voted 8- I absolutely love my in-laws! I know I got really lucky.... They are very caring, thoughtful, respectful and not pushy at all. I've lost both my parents over the last 5 years, and I am so lucky to have my IL's. They helped me through the loss of both parents, and that I won't ever forget. I only wish they lived closer... we are about 8hrs away via car, 1hr via plane