Everyone always says that having a baby is SO expensive and I don't disagree entirely. I guess we plan on cloth diapering, breastfeeding and making our own baby food when the time comes so that will help defer some cost but for those of you who have babies/kids, what are some of the expenses you have that make having a family so pricey? As a first time mom-to-be I assume there are some costs that I haven't even thought of!
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Im a new mom and the costs haven't been crazy yet aside from diapers and incidentals (which frankly is not that much if you buy in bulk from amazon or diapers.com). We barely go out for meals now which we did often before so we are probably saving money! Also I was gifted most of our baby gear as well as tons of clothes. But daycare will be expensive - we live in Boston and it's really high.
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Ooh i'm following this thread, i've wondered the same thing as we are TTC and I can't figure out what is so expensive.
Basing off my SIL's parenting- buying toys and clothes every week/sometimes twice a week. (Her DD isn't in the growing every day stage anymore), and doctor visits. Checkups and allergy tests and all of that.
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childcare!!!!! it is crazy expensive for two kids until they start school. even then you need to pay for after school care, as well as summer childcare.
i bought a lot of toys, gear, etc the first year, but i admit that i am an overbuyer. i have learned my lesson though, and really try to limit all gear and toys.
the biggest expense after childcare is food and clothes. food for us because we all eat different things and i buy organic whenever it's available. and clothes because we have to buy seasonally appropriate clothes and shoes twice a year since they grow so fast and we have four seasons.
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@MrsTiz: I'm glad I'm not the only one! I am trying to figure out what the main expenses really are since so far it's been pretty reasonable and I think we have pretty much everything ready to go. The baby shower helped a ton and I also do not plan on putting my kid in brand-new clothes. His closet is FULL of stuff that will last him until he's about 1.5 and 99% of it is second-hand (and adorable!) : ) I'm interested to see what the experienced moms have to say though
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Honestly, if you are smart about it (we get tons of hand me downs for clothes and toys, and buy diapers and wipes in bulk) the expenses are not that bad. We spend so much less money on ourselves so it really evens out.
Until you consider childcare!!!!! Think at least $20k a year per child!! Once they start school you also have to consider childcare for after school hours until you get home from work. So if you have 2 kids under the age of 3, it becomes a HUGE expense-- at least $40k per year.
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For us the most expensive thing for the first year has been health insurance. And I decided to work very little to be with her - so that's a big loss of income. But as she gets older I can see how other stuff like feeding and dressing her will get more expensive.
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Daycare and gear...but we can reuse for any future kids!
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Our LO isn't here yet but he/she is on the way. The gear can get expensive, but it also can be very reasonable if you choose wisely. And yes a lot of things are gifted to you but remember some people aren't lucky enough to have generous friends and family so they have to buy everything themselves. Child care in the biggest expense we are budgeting for in the short term. And the college savings account is the biggest expense in the long term.
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It's been expensive for us. We were gifted nursery furniture and stroller but we had to buy a car seat, swings, bouncers, pack and plays, etc. Also, we unexpectedly had a preemie and we had to buy some preemie speciality items. Also, since we have a preemie, I couldn't full time breastfeed so we have had to buy bottles, nipples, breast pump, pump cleaning supplies, etc. The cost of diapers and wipes add up too. Additional expenses are daycare, $400 a week in the DC area and saving for his college. Another potential cost can be the medical cost of having a baby, it all depends on your insurance. We have an HMO so we did not have to pay any out of pocket, but if you have a PPO you have to pay until you reach your deductible.
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@Mrs. Bee: Did you buy gender specific gear that you had to replace once you had a little girl? We got all our stuff neutral so are hoping it can all be used again (we are having a boy now). I figured childcare would probably be the most expensive! We are having a close family friend do in-home so that helps. It seems reasonable now but I bet once we add another one into the mix in a few years it'll start hurting a bit more
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we breastfeed and cloth diaper but its still expensive, with health insurance, day care and all the baby gear.. it adds up before you know it.
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@winniebee: Me too - so not looking forward to figuring out the daycare/nanny situation. Most of my friends here definitely fall into the camp of 'it not being worth it' to work because childcare can be higher than our annual salaries. They've mostly ended up working part-time but still, so scary!
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Just because you plan on doing something, doesn't mean it will actually happen. I cloth diaper and made lo's food, and wanted to breasfeed. But breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone, didn't work for us, and we were stuck buying formula.
I think one of the biggest expenses is buying multiple of things because your lo doesn't like it. We had to buy two swings, two bath tubs, we have a carrier that was barely used, u keep buying diaper rash creams that don't work, etc.
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@artbee: Oh my gosh, we have double of everything! It definitely adds up. But we have a 3 story house and it's so worth it to have things on our 2 main levels, otherwise I'd be running up and down the stairs all the time.
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Day care and increased housing costs. We are looking for a house in a good school district and we'll be spending over $1M. If we didn't have a LO coming, we could stay where we are comfortably.
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@krsmall: we didn't want two of everything, but my lo doesn't ever like the first thing we get her. Like we bought a front to back swing but she likes the side to side swing so we got rid of the front to back.
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@ktgee04: by gear do you mean furniture? we bought all new furniture because they have separate rooms. as far as swings, bouncers, etc I lent everything to a friend, she returned it to me, and now i'm giving it back to her so I did save that.
i saved all of charlie's clothes in case we had another boy, and since he was a first grandchild, he had a TON of clothes and shoes. I ended up giving almost all of it away except for the newborn clothes because it was all boyish, and my mom bought us all girly clothes.
diapers and wipes have also been a big expense..... cloth is definitely cheaper.
and i've been buying clothes, gear, and toys used whenever I can.
if we didn't have to pay for childcare though, we wouldn't have that many more expenses since i don't shop for myself anymore and only shop for the kids.
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@artbee: hahaha.. we had that issue with bottles... we are now on our 3rd brand..
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@krsmall: we had 3 brands of bottles too. Now when we have our next baby at least they will have plenty of options!
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For me it is:
#1) not working (sure, I get some maternity benefits from the govt here in Canada, but it is no where near to my usual income). And when I go back to work, then daycare will be expensive.
#2) we had to buy a new vehicle as our little pickup truck was not really baby-safe...yahoo no back seats!
#3) okay, maybe we didn't NEED to do this, but it felt like a need. We got air conditioning installed.
So far those are the reasons why having a baby is so expensive, even though we cloth diaper, I breastfeed, and got pretty much everything else given to us (except our carrier-wrap, and a couple minor items).
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Daycare and health insurance are going to be our two biggest expenses. Right now, my employer pays 100% of my premium but I'll have to contribute $350/month out of my paychecks to get bebe covered. Add in the daycare, and our life becomes a lot less comfortable. We haven't started pricing yet, but I certainly hope it's not $400/week like some others have said... yeesh.
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@artbee: That's a good point. The 'we plan on...' doesn't mean it's going to work out that way! I sure hope I can pump/BF but it definitely may not be in the cards for me.
I have a nice stock of bottles now too but for all I know the lil guy will hate all of them and I'll have to start over : /
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For us, it was a lot of little things at first that added up - diapers, clothes when she didn't fit into anything we had at home, six different kids of bottles when LO wouldn't take anything but the boob, buying a swing we didn't think we'd need, etc. And then with the combination of daycare costs and me cutting back on my hours at work, suddenly we are not as comfortable as we used to be!
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@ladyfingers: Daycare costs are totally regional. The cost of a month's worth of daycare in some parts of the country wouldn't cover a week in the most expensive cities- it all depends!
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@ladyfingers: $400/wk is a scary number! I suppose it's all about where you live though. I live in the Midwest and it seems $150-200 per week is about average depending on if you do in-home or a daycare. How old do kids have to be to start public school?! lol
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@Lozza: @ktgee04: True! I've heard the average here is $241/week... I'm still hoping we can find something cheaper.
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Childcare! Do not procrastinate, it's not worth waiting. I waited and ended up with a daycare I don't love for $242/week.
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We're fortunate that I'll be able to stay home which means no childcare expenses and our health insurance is the same for us as a family of 2 as it will be when we add our daughter to the mix. We'll actually be getting more for our money at that point.
I think we're more nervous about the expenses as they get older. Extra curricular activities are NOT cheap. Then, if they get involved in anything competitive that involves traveling the expenses just keep adding up. Plus, they'll eventually need cars, go to dances (more expensive for a girl I think), need car insurance and gas money, college, etc. Luckily, some of those are optional expenses and we can have kids pay for some of that on their own.
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Not to turn this into a childcare thread but... We're trying to decide if it would make sense for us to keep bebe home until about 6 months. I'd be going back to work in May, and DH covers high school sports for the newspaper. We could get a couple of babysitters who could come watch bebe whenever DH had to leave for work -- around that time of year, usually about 3 p.m., then I get home at 6:30. Then during the summer, while he does work, it's mostly from home. So by the time his job started back up hot and heavy in the middle of August, that's at least a few months' full-time childcare expenses saved...
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i've been thinking about this too. my husband is super stressed, because he thinks we'll be in a world of hurt, but i just don't see it. maybe i'm naive. we're blessed to have parents and families who want to help provide all the gear we'll need (stroller, crib, diaper bag, etc.). we're going light on clothing and gear--only the minimum, as i don't believe in excess. i don't think baby needs a swing, bouncer, AND jumper. plus, diapers really aren't that expensive. the only thing i foresee causing trouble is the cost of delivery. since we'll be having the baby in early february, we will have to pay the entire deductible before the insurance kicks in -- yikes.
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@photojane: That's my situation! (Minus the actually being pregnant part haha) I know my parents would buy us anything we needed/even mentioned wanted for LO.
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@MrsTiz: it's amazing! I keep telling my mom that she doesn't need to keep volunteering, but I think she's more excited than I am. she's been on amazon looking at strollers and swings and all kinds of stuff -- she's out of control!
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@photojane: It's a great problem to have isn't it! : )
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I agree that childcare is the main expense with having children. We have very cheap childcare compared to a lot of areas, but it is still the largest expense.
DS is 15 months old now and we've done a lot to keep costs down.
We were gifted a lot of the baby gear (stroller, crib, bouncer, pack n play) and everything else I buy second hand. I can count on one hand the number of items for baby that I have bought new (jogging stroller and a doorway jumper). We have a great local used children's store and I also look on the Thred Up website for clothing too. I never buy full price clothing. At the local used store I can buy like new stuff (they are really picky about what they buy) for dollars. On average I'd say I spend about $3 per item. I've tried craigslist and ebay now and then, but have had less luck there unless there is something specific I want. I love to have DS in cute outfits, but then I get frustrated when they get dirty. I've learned to pick about 2 outfits per season that I love for special occasions or going out, and the rest is all basic, functional pieces.
We breastfed for 7 months, and changed to formula. So breastfeeding is awesome if it works out. DS dropped to only one night bottle at 12 months, but we still spent over $500 on formula.
We also cloth diaper, and it really is a cost saver in the long run. I looked for sales or bought used diapers, and stocked up when Cottonbabies has a seconds sale. But we have not found a solution for night time, so we do still have to buy disposables for night. I would say that in the last 15 months we have spent about $300 on cloth diapers (8 flip covers, 24 inserts, 6 organic inserts, 10 bum genius 4.0 pockets with inserts) and about $200 on disposables.
We bought baby food since I don't cook and it was just a lot easier since we are on the go a lot. Amazon has a subscribe and save program which is great.
We've really tried to cut costs. We are lucky that we have great health insurance, so the costs for prenatal care and childbirth were just about nothing. DS has had a lot of ear infections and 2 trips to urgent care, but we have a very small copay, so while it does add up, it's not a big expense.
It is possible to have a baby on a budget, especially since there are not really a lot of things that the baby needs! a place to sleep, stuff to eat, stuff to poop in, stuff to wear and a few toys.
There are fixed costs like health care and childcare, but there is really a lot of room to save on the other stuff. I know someone who spent $150 on prefolds and covers and diapered 2 kids from birth to potty training. -
Not working, or childcare.
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another thing is that as a first time parent, you really don't know what you'll need, and you often end up buying more than you need. a lot of the things i thought i needed, i really didn't. but if you think it's going to make your life easier/lo happier/healthier/smarter, etc. you end up buying it!
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Definitely childcare! Hands down. Second to that would be food because we buy a lot of organics and we try to give him different variety of foods. It totally adds up! The baby gear can be costly for the first baby (furniture, stroller, swings/bouncers, clothes, diapers/wipes) but you can reuse alot of this stuff for baby #2. Also, we're constantly buying new things for our son as he gets older. Like new age-appropriate toys, clothes, shoes, books, feeding gear, etc. I find myself having to buy him new things at least every month, $100 here and there definitely adds up!
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@Mrs. Bee: i'm lucky to have two older brothers and a sister-in-law with kids, so i already have an idea of what the useless junk is!
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I tell a lot of my friends who are about to start trying (when they ask the for advice of course :-)), you almost have to be prepared for the worst. When I found out I was pregnant, I had a threatened miscarriage 2 days after finding out. Because I am on a HD plan for insurance, our costs are out of pocket until deductible is met then covered 100%. So, we paid $3K out of pocket, and then our deductible started over July 1! We also were concurrently paying our "deposit" at the doctors office which requires 1/2 deductible ($1500) to be paid towards L&D by the 27the week of pregnancy. Luckily, that is applied to our new deductible, but before baby is even born, we were out $4,500.
We have been super lucky and been gifted a TON of items. I have hardly had to buy anything and we have plenty of clothes, crib, sheeting, car seat, basic essentials, and one more shower to go. If we had to buy even just the basics, we would be out significantly more money.
My car is also 10 years old and has no side airbags in the back and a hump in the middle seat. So...we've been looking into a new car for me. It isn't a necessity, but I'll feel better about the safety issue for sure. Plus, it snows/ices here in the winter and I always have to have someone pick me up since I don't have 4WD. Now, with having to take the baby to childcare before work (another $700/month), we felt it would be appropriate to get a new car.
So...we always talk about how blessed and excited we are to be having this baby...but it definitely hasn't come cheap! And we are bare minimum type of people.
Oh yeah...and there is the part about maternity leave--I get six weeks paid, but my personal days are being used. (I'm a teacher). If I need to go longer than six weeks, I get docked pay...another expense.
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