Hellobee Boards

Great neighborhood is always top of my list. I'd take a nice yard and accept small bedrooms. So I'd take the beautiful home you mentioned. My current issue with looking for a home is layout of the living room, and size of yard (medium size vs. small but with view), and length of driveway. Oh its always tough but I think if you get 8 out of 10 things you want then you're golden. Good luck!

I don't mean this condescending, so I hope you don't take it that way. I always chuckle when first time home buyers talk about "non-negotiable" items. In home buying, everything is negotiable. You hardly ever find a house with everything you want just the way you want it. You pretty much always have to compromise, but you pick the house that has the least amount of compromise or the most compromises on the less important stuff. Instead of focusing on a "non-negoitable" list, I'd try to focus on a want list, maybe even in order of importance. That will then guide you to figure out which house would be the best fit. But chances are, you're going to have to compromise.

There are two reasons why we bought the house we live in now:

1. It's on the same street as the elementary school and I can literally stand on my front lawn and watch my son walk to school. This is important because I don't want him on the bus nor do I wish to deal with the car drop off lines.

2. There is an ingrained pool, fully fenced, heated, the works. We use it so much during the summer and we don't have to go anywhere if we don't want to. It's seriously fantastic.

My house is a builder basic from 1963. It has it's issues, but we are only the third owner and everything that was done to it is documented. I didn't want a house that had changed owners a lot.

I think there are some non-negotiables/must-haves but that list should be short. We moved in May and our must-haves were: air conditioning (we live in a very hot place), garage, 4 bedrooms. The nice to have list was longer. We ended up with a smaller house in a better location and actually in a 3 bedroom with a den that we enclosed to make a 4th bedroom. I was nervous at the time but we love our neighborhood and the fact that we are steps from the community pool and a public walking trail and convenient to work and daycare.

We purchased our second home last year. Location was important because my husband didn't want an hour commute. We were persistent about getting a large master bed room, formal dining, study, game room, and media room. Luckily most neighborhoods in the area were new builds or under construction, so it was more about having enough money.
If our situation was different we wouldn't gone with the house with the best location, yard, and potential to give us what we wanted. You can always add things to your home to make it perfect.

Ours was all about location and availability. We live in an expensive city with a hot market and there were very few properties for sale within our budget. We got the major things that we wanted: two bedrooms, two full baths, and a townhouse style (and even getting these "basics" was hard in our market). We compromised on pretty much everything else, such as the heating system (old and terrible), parking (none), kitchen (tiny), and general layout (weird with small rooms).

Prior to looking in our current city, we were looking in the suburbs where we had alot more choices and I felt like I was paralyzed by all the options. Once we chose to look in our current location, the slim pickings make it harder to be choosy. It helped that we knew ahead of time that we'd probably only stay 5 years or so.

I compromised on the one thing I prioritized the most - the kitchen. In exchange, I got a house with good bones in a beautiful location with an en suite bathroom (which is extremely rare around these parts). It also has a decently sized yard, which I wanted.

I don't regret our decision at all. In fact, I think we got lucky. However, if I knew we'd only stay for 5-10 years, I'd much prefer a house we don't have to renovate. It just makes things so much easier!

Right now we prioritized location and DH's commute- we are still in the city and he can walk the <2 miles to work or take the train and be home in less than half an hour. Parking was also non negotiable- we live in one of those neighborhoods that makes national news over how awful parking is in the winter. But we know we will only be in this condo for a few years.

When we are ready to buy a house in the next few years, schools will be a priority since that will be where C and baby sister start school (and hopefully even if we move up t will be within a school district). Everything else we will have to see what we can get for what we can spend and go from there...

Location for me is n.1. I also like fresh and new, so currently we are in a new highrise. It is all windows and I love the natural light.

The houses in our downtown location are old or 2million, so if we purchase we may go for a condo or a small renovated home with a nice yard. SF doesn't matter to me as much.

Just remember no house will ever be perfect. Even if you think it is, it won't be once you move in! And your needs will also change over time.

We liked the bones of our house and it's on an acre and felt right when we toured it. That being said, it was my 3rd house purchase so I wasn't very picky because I already knew nothing was going to be perfect. But it felt right. And sure there are lots of things I'd like to change but over time it's totally doable.

With my 1st purchase I had a small budget so my options were more limited. But I knew I wanted new construction because at the time I was single and living alone. No fixer uppers for me.

@illumina: I think you and your husband need to ask yourself what your "house personality" is - how much you're interested in doing work on your house, how much disruption you're willing to handle, the amount of money you're willing to dump into your house, etc. We went from renting an older home that needed work to buying our first home this spring and so we had a chance to gut check what we thought we could handle in terms of home care.

The first thing we did was set a rock-solid budget (i.e. how much our total monthly payment would be) and limited our search to that budget, which kicked us into a specific area of the town we were looking into. This budget was inclusive of any bonds on the land, dues, fees, taxes, etc. We even researched the utility costs, gardeners, etc.

For us, our non-negotiables were very simple to figure out: what are the things I absolutely MUST have in ANY home I live in - rent or buy. For us, we needed a a quiet street, a 3 bedroom + den or a 4 bedroom and 2 bathrooms, a single story home, close enough to highways for our jobs, and a house that is basically done. Meaning, it doesn't have to be our taste or perfect, but it doesn't need drastic or expensive work - especially things like roof, new windows, central A/C, and landscaping. Fixtures and paint were fine, but gutting a place wasn't our speed, especially with a baby. So in your situation, the older historical home would definitely NOT be for us.

Then we made a list of "really wants" - which are highly affected by how long you intend to stay in a home, but basically they were things I STRONGLY prefer a house I buy to have. We were looking at a 5 year home, so for us, these were being near a park, having a covered patio, close grocery shopping, and adequate storage in the home. And a kitchen that wasn't super cruddy.

We ended up with a 17 year old house that we bought from the original owners who built it new construction back in '97 as their retirement home. My parents always had this joke when I was growing up that you should only buy used cars and homes from old retirees because they take such good care them and that's basically what happened here. The carpet and paint was even in impeccable shape for being that old. They had granite put in the kitchen and a whole new HVAC system put in the last few year, the house came with a 40 year roof, and the landscaping was totally done even though it wasn't exactly the way I'd want it.

All in all, we are pretty happy. We got our non-negotiables and just about all of our "really wants." The house is quiet, one street over from an awesome park, near the highway, lots of shopping, its an established neighborhood so we don't have to pay the 30-year bonds that the the new construction developments a few blocks away are stuck with, and while the house needs work, it was totally move-in ready and we've knocked out little things here and there on the weekends. (All the fixtures were gold/brass, the linoleum in the bathroom and laundry room were dated, and the bathroom sinks needed to be replaced). But we also ended up with a bonus 3-car garage which gave us tons of storage and space for a freezer and second fridge.

We compromised on everything except 1) quiet/residential street, 2) big flat backyard, and 3) large finished basement. I wanted my son to have tons of room in good and bad weather to runaround and play without having to get in the car to take him somewhere. Our house only has 3 bedrooms and no master bath, but it's also in the best school district in our state and tons of property to add on as we desire.

@illumina: I say keep looking! 2 house is nothing!

I remember teller my realtor I was never going to find a house I liked until I walked into our current home - I was instantly enamored with it all!

I think you need to look at 8-10 more houses - the perfect house might be out there!

- Not having a master ensuite (but most houses we looked at, it was so small that it wasn't even worth it)
- Exterior needs work (want to change siding at some point; also want to re-do walkway/stairs/driveway
- Yard is big but not well kept so every year so far we've been putting a lot of work into beautifying it

Our must is the town/school district, and price point. We did a complete renovation, so the house just has to have a good layout.

When we bought our house, we found it really useful to think about what our "must haves" were and what our "deal breakers" were. Once we had that list, it made our search much easier, but it also really narrowed the pool of homes. For us that was fine - less options, less stress!
Think about what is important to you and your family - your needs for this house as your life evolves. Our agent also advised us that taking a risk on a house that might not be our forever house was fine as long as the resale value of the house was comparable to what we paid - like if we ended up wanting something bigger in 10 years, would the market still be hot for a property like this?
You aren't being fussy. You're thinking longterm and that's the best thing to do with a major decision like this. Best of luck to you.