0 to 1 or 1 to 2?
Most of my mom friends have told me that the transition from kidless to kid was harder than expanding the family to 2 kids!
What was your experience?
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0-1 for sure! At least you don't feel so completely lost and overwhelmed the second time!
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Going from 0 to 1 was tough because so many aspects of our life had to change. Going from 1 to 2 was actually incredibly easy!
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0-1 was a harder transition!
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1-2 for me. They're just shy of 22 months apart, and having a young toddler and a newborn, 2 babies in diapers, was hard for me.
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1 to 2, hands down.
Good lord, 0 to 1 was a breeze!
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0-1 was harder. I was calmer and knew what to expect with my second.
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0-1 a million times over!
I was so much more relaxed when 2 came along
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One to two was way harder for me, but then again mine were only 21 months apart! The pain lasted a shorter amount of time though (if that's helpful)...
I'm worried about the transition from 2-3!
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@Rainbow Sprinkles: I agree! It was this sweet, fun, novel thing when we brought our first home! Oh how cute, we're bringing our sleeping infant to a fancy restaurant. Oh how sweet, look at the few pieces of tiny laundry! So quaint, a poopy blow out
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I'm nervous about the transition from 1-2 also! 0-1 didn't feel too bad because I had "time" to learn. Now I'll have a toddler to occupy and tend to along with a newborn.
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@Mrs. Jacks: I also found bringing home the first baby to be rather indulgent. Oh, I'm tired? I can simply nap when the baby naps. The baby is up all night and sleeps all day? Awesome, I can do that too!
with the 2nd, the sleep deprivation hit me like a Mac truck. I had a baby who was up all night, and a toddler who needed my care throughout the day.
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@Mrs. Jacks: I found 2-3 to be much easier than 1-2! And, mine are 23 months apart and 22 months apart respectively, so I feel your pain.
The easiest transition, by far, was 2 to 3. And, I had three kids three and under for a few months, and my husband had just broken his leg in two places requiring a rod and surgery two weeks before the baby came, so not the easiest conditions but the easiest transition! -
@Rainbow Sprinkles: exactly! Oh and "I'm a new mom, everyone come help me!" With the second, everyone was like "didn't we just do this?!" We got a few meals but that was it
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@MamaBehr: music to my ears, baby!
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@Mrs. Jacks: "didn't we just do this?" Haha! EXACTLY. Mine are 19 months apart.
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Even at 19 months apart, 0-1 was WAY harder. Nothing prepares a person for that first child.
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@MamaBehr: can I ask what made it easier than 1 to 2 for you?!?
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0 to 1 for sure, but I think it also depends on your baby. LO1 was a hard newborn, and LO2 has been soo easy in comparison. It definitely helped with the transition to 2.
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@MamaBehr: I was wondering about how 2-3 is! My 1st two are 20 months apart and I was hoping for around 2 years between 2 and 3. So glad to hear it was the easiest transition. I'm also curious as to why it was the easiest.
I thought 1-2 was way easier than 0-1. I don't worry about things as much and my body was somewhat used to the sleep deprivation. It wasn't as big a shock to my system. Sure, I'm tired all the time. But honestly the hardest part is at bedtime when they both want me. That's when I wish I could split myself in two and comfort both of them.
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@Lindsay05: Agreed. Mine are only 13 months apart. I don't think age difference necessarily makes a difference -- maybe it depends on how well the second baby sleeps, along with other factors, etc.?
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I definitely think it depends on the baby. Our first one had reflux and was a terrible sleeper (partially due to my inexperience in getting babies to sleep), plus some medical issues. Our second was a super easy baby. So even though they were only 20 months apart, going from 1-2 felt like a breeze compared to going from 0-1.
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That's a tough one... I think 1-2 was harder for me. Baby #1 was easy, but I had really bad anxiety after birth. Still, taking care of a newborn and a toddler is not for the weak!! (19 months apart)
I think just not being able to sit down and relax with my new baby (#2) was really difficult for me. When baby #2 was sleeping I had to tend to baby #1, so I never got any rest or sweet baby cuddles -
@Rainbow Sprinkles: First off, I decided to be a SAHM after my second was born, so that was a major transition. But, in general you have to figure out how to divide your attention when you got from 1 to 2. I also needed to figure out balancing different needs and how to keep one busy when the other needed something from me. When the third one came, I had that figured out. I have noticed that at the park I automatically scan every 3-5 minutes to see where my kids are. It is inherent in me now. So, adding one more little head to check in with is easy now. Also, my oldest is old enough now to keep herself relatively entertained and could entertain the middle one, if the baby needed me. She, is also old enough to help (get me a diaper when I forget one, get the baby a snack etc) and likes to help!
Maybe it isn't the case for everyone, but I have found the transition from 2 to 3 the easiest. zero to one was VERY hard (I might have skipped back to work!), one to two was difficult, but 2 to 3 was so easy! -
Neither was too bad for us. I'll vote 0-1 because my labor was so difficult and BFing troubles made her first weeks painful for me. 1-2 is WAY easier than I expected (23.5 months apart).
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Oh god i hope so, LOL.
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0-1. My first never slept. Queen of 20m naps till well over a year and averaged 10hr overnight. And would only nap in my arms and take over an hour to put down at night.
#2 is by no means a good sleeper. But better and I guess #1 was already 28m so that helped.
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as far as the baby? they're both pretty straightforward but I also nannied newborn on!
for my relationship with DH? definitely harder with our first. total adjustment. now, we've done it, we know what we're doing, we're in a groove and things are good.
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I dunno. 0-1 was definitely hard, but 1-2 has been just as hard in its own way. Mainly because this kid doesn't want to sleep more than a few inches away from me at all times. And when he does sleep, it isn't for more than a couple hours. If it wasn't for DH, I'd crack for sure.
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0-1 was much harder. I think a lot of it had to do with LO's temperament, though. LO1 was colicky. LO2 isn't a great sleeper, but he's an easy newborn. I will say that the bad moments are much worse when there are two to deal with, but they are fewer and further between than the rough patches with my first - probably just because I have more experience and either know how to defuse the situation faster or just let the chaos roll off my back.
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I'd heard that 1-2 was harder, so I'm more afraid of that. 0-1 had a lot of learning curves at various times, and she never slept, so yeah. But it was never terrible.
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I didn't think either was bad.
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0-1 was harder. i stressed about everything the first time around (eating, sleeping, etc). i was a lot more relaxed the second time around. E was going through a bad toddler phase at the time tho so having a newborn seemed SOOO much easier compared to his crazy sister!
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0-1.
My kids are 20 months apart, but I knew what to expect! Plus DS was a really easy baby. -
0-1 didn't seem that bad to me but then 1-3 when number 1 was 8 months old kicked my rear end. I never slept and baby care was never ending. It just seemed like all I did all day was change diapers feed and try to get them to nap, change diapers, then feed then nap. Going from 3-4 when my twins were 2 was a piece of cake.
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Each was easy and difficult in their own ways
0-1 was hard because we didn't know what to expect & we were thrown into parenthood and always second guessing our decisions. It was easy in the sense we could nap when baby napped, everyone was eager to help us, and there was no real mess because I only had one kid to look after. But, it was also HARD because we fit our lives around baby's schedule & that was tough.
1-2 was easy because we knew what we were doing. Baby fit into our schedules (and we wish we'd have done that with it oldest) so she fit seamlessly into the family right from the start. It was tough, though, bc we couldn't always sleep when she slept. And, the laundry! The toys! The mess! The food! The help isn't there as much bc like mrs jacks said, didn't we just do this? Everyone thinks you've for your shit together by the time kid #2 rolls around and I'm over here treading water.
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0 to 1 was really hard because I hadn't done it before. Now I'm not a rookie anymore and 1 to 2 has been much easier than I expected. But LO1 had reflux and undiagnosed food allergies and she cried non-stop and didn't sleep. So that was quite a stressful time.
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0-1 for so many reasons! I was so nervous/scared as a first time mom, #1 was a harder baby than #2... DH had to adjust too and a lot fell on me at first.
1-2 was a breeze in comparison. Nothing really fazed me, and there was a confidence I just didn't have the first time around. I was already immersed in motherhood from #1 anyway, so adding another wasn't a huge change. Pre-kid life was already a distant memory by then. DH was also a pro by then and took on all toddler duties so I could focus on the baby. I think having #2 actually improved our marriage!
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0-1 was gobs harder. It coincided with a couple other big life changes for me (stressful job issues, new job, significantly less travelling) that made my "new" life way more different than I expected...and then I had a difficult time adjusting to that.
I expected 1-2 to be about equal in terms of change and tried to prepare for the worst. It has been a breeze, and nothing like I thought. DD1 has adjusted well, DD2 is a dream baby, and I have been a lot happier.
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@mrs. high heels: agree about #2 improving the marriage. i think the first LO can put so much pressure on the mom (pregnancy, birth recovery, nursing if you do that, staying at home if you do that) that it can feel like you get the bulk of "work". With LO2, you can divide and conquer the parenting...and, honestly, sometimes I really like dealing with my immobile, mostly quiet baby instead of my whirlwind toddler
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