One of my friends asked me if I was happy about being pregnant. This is after I had a devastating miscarriage that he knew about. It made me feel like he thought I shouldn't be happy, and that he wasn't happy. Which I don't think he was....he's pretty self centered and gets upset when I can't go visit him at the drop of a hat. When I was single with no LO I could do that, but now it's a bit more difficult, and he doesn't get that.
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my aunt didnt say congrats and was only concerned because i didnt call her and invite her to a party we threw when i put all the invites on facebook
A coworker asked me "Did you plan for this to happen?"
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I didn't have any bad reactions everyone was super happy.
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My mom telling me I was too young, and basically every reaction from her since lol.. the newest one being her telling me she can't be bothered to take off work to be at the labor >.< Other than her though, we had lovely reactions!
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It was a while ago, but when I told a "friend" (who's no longer a friend) about my 2nd pregnancy she didn't even congratulate me and started talking about something else.
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I had someone ask me, and keep asking me, if we planned to get pregnant and told me her biggest regret in life is either having kids or not waiting longer to have kids.
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A ton of people asked if we planned LO.
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We did an announcement to DH's side of the family (super close family, it was a small-ish group of about 10-15 people, aunts/uncles/cousins our age). DH's cousin's girlfriend didn't even acknowledge us. People were hugging us, saying congrats, and she just sat at the table and was on her phone. She never even glanced our way. Once everyone sat down afterwards, she launches into talking about how great her new car is...
So freaking awkward.
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My boss's boss looked me right in the eye and said "You bitch!" She was only half joking, as well - we've got a busy year coming up!
I also had a friend ask me if DH had "pressured me into it" when I told her. This particular friend goes on and on about how much she hates children and how "pregnant women freak her out". Her face was a picture when I told her our news, she literally recoiled in horror!
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I didn't have any bad reactions. I had one person ask if it was planned, but she seemed genuinely happy for us, just didn't know what to say, I guess? FIL was sort of like, Oh, that's great. (Picture that in a flatter voice than you'd expect). I guess he's happy but wasn't as thrilled to become a grandfather as you might expect, but it was actually exactly what I would expect from him!
Otherwise all positive.
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@Cherrybee: I had a few slightly off reactions at work-- never quite as severe as yours, but slightly longer pauses than you'd expect. Turns out it was because one person was also pregnant and hadn't announced yet, so we will both be out at the same time, which isn't great, and the other was in the process of accepting another job offer. So both were obviously thinking of how the team would be missing so many people and took a second before the normal happy reaction.
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@chopsuey119: I had a couple of non reactions/change the subject from friends for my second pregnancy. They're all from friends that don't have kids and keep asking me when I'm going to work more, even though I've explained our plan several times. So I try to avoid them now too since they're acting weird. Both like kids and want kids so maybe that has to do with it but who knows and I don't feel like asking them.
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I've gotten a few comments about whether or not this pregnancy was planned, if we had been trying, etc. and coworkers keep asking me if I'm sure I'm coming back after my maternity leave. Almost everyone is very happy for us though.
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My MIL was just kind of "eh" about it & asked if we planned it, if we were ready, and just overall interrogated us. Tbh I worry about the reactions we'll get considering we've started ttc again & P is only 13 months. Thankfully my mom will be happy regardless!
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We didn't get any "bad" reactions, because we are kind of old (32 when we married) so I guess most people weren't surprised..but I had some incredulous reactions. Like, my sister was literally like. "yeah, right. That would be funny". And I was like.....no, it's true. And she still had this look on her face like at any second I was going to yell "Psyccchhhhhe!"
When it sunk in that I was indeed knocked up, she was happy. But I was the girl who never wanted to settle down, and dated a guy for 7 years while refusing to get hitched to him, so I think she was surprised that then I met someone else, got married, and knocked up 1 month later.
Heh.
(edited)--deleted story. Just can't risk family reading this! haha
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nothing for the first, but with #2 we got a lot of 'this was not planned was it?' 'was this planned?' 'are you guys crazy' because they are going to be 15 months apart.
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Lots of excitment and happy tears. My mom immdiately ordered my father to fetch me a proper chair (I was sitting on a stool at the time). My sister started to cry immdiately (she's the best auntie in the WORLD!), my inlaws were just happy/excited/shocked!
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My FIL had this weird, non-reaction. DH was expecting him to be super excited, like when we told him we were engaged. Instead he just seemed shocked, and then when we told him we weren't very far along, he seemed horrified we were even telling him and said we shouldn't let people know until 12 weeks. Oh, and he also wondered out loud if this was planned. DH was so disappointed in his reaction :(.
Meanwhile, my parents knew we were going through fertility treatments and I told them right after I told DH. They would have been MAD if I'd waited until 12 weeks to tell them.
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MY DH's family told him that we should put off buying a house because I could always miscarry (I had a large SCH) and then he would be stuck owning a house with me (this was after we had lived together for years and were about to get engaged).
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Everyone was really happy and positive, but my sister launched into this long story about her friend who went into premature labor and her baby only lived for a few months. I already knew the entire story and although I felt so sad for her friend I didn't really think it was appropriate. Now whenever she sees me she makes me sit down so I don't 'go into early labor'.
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That stick in my mind; we had one "oh right, ok", one "was it planned?" and one "I didn't think it would be long...." All which seemed a bit weird and out of place. Nothing terrible though.
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My boss asked if I was happy. lol.
Also, one of my DH's estranged aunt's said "we are happy for you....................." on my FB. which.... I dunno. Seems not happy? LOL
Those are about the weirdest reactions I've gotten.
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I had a friend of the family say "don't you know how this happens?" (I was 30 and married!) so I went into a long tirade about how we tried for 2 years and had 2 miscarriages and then got into an infertility study, then I detailed all the steps of iui for him. It shut him up.
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Hmmm, a coworker commented on the close timing and asked me if my uterus would explode. Haha.
A friend also asked me "why the f do I want so many kids" when I told her I was pregnant with baby 2.
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We got a lot of "FINALLY"'s, as if we were being selfish not getting around to having kids yet. Trust me, it wasn't our first choice to try for almost a year, but he was well worth the wait!
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Nothing tooo horrible.
My Mom said 'But that means you'll be too pregnant to fly out for Christmas!' She was 100% excited after that sad thought sunk in though.
I work with mostly men, so they were all telling me how my life was over, and how bad DH's life was going to be now... Over-react much?
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We didn't get anything horrible. After LO was born, I heard her make a comment about "waiting a long time for it." I'm guessing it came from the fact that her "daughter" aka DH's ex-girlfriend had a pregnancy/LO before us, though we've been married longer.
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DH's cousin in law after we announced our pregnancy asked how old I was, then after I answered her, she said "eh, a little young, but I guess that's okay" this was in front of everyone, I was so embarrassed. I was 22 at the time.
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we haven't really told people yet, but i anticipate a lot of the "was this planned? are you sure you want this?" type of reactions since none of my friends have kids yet.
The worst one so far was "i knew you were pregnant because your face looks fat" from my MIL. way to kill a happy moment!
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@swurlygurl: Ugh, I work with mostly men too, and all oldschool baby boomer men. One of them keeps asking if I'm looking forward to my "vacation".
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I didn't have any bad reactions.
I did get some people who gave a good reaction but then followed it up with SERIOUSLY DUMB questions:was this planned?
what the hell are you going to do?
omg are you sure? check again
did you tell your husband? (um, no but yet, i'm telling you?)People are weird...but then again, my friends are all young and childless and most of them not married so I kind of get their apprehension.
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@.twist.: I took LO to work and one guy made a vacation reference. I shut him up real fast when I said my day started at 4:30am and it was nonstop diaper changes, feedings, running the dishwasher, doing laundry, sweeping, mopping, cooking, etc. and around 11:30pm I got to sleep for a bit then get up at 4:30 and go again. (A bit exaggerated but maternity leave is not vacation)
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@septemberlove: Seriously! What do these guys (especially the older generation, who didn't raise children because they didn't have them or their wives did everything!) think maternity is? A walk in the park? I honestly do more on weekends with our boys than I ever get done at work. That isn't because I don't do my job, I do it and do it well, but kids are so much more demanding and they don't give deadlines! LOL. instant instant instant!
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I had two cousins write 'about time' on facebook. I so desperately wanted to write a tirade about fertility issues and how you never know what someone else is going through so they should shut the eff up but, I let it go.
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We announced to DH's family last year at Easter dinner. Everyone congratulated us, and cake and coffee were served. As the hubbub settled and people sipped coffee, his aunt turned to me and said, "Well, I hope you're lucky. Everyone in this family seems to lose their first babies." She then began a litany of all the miscarriages or stillbirths or complications in the family tree, turning to the family for their input and anyone she might be forgetting. Just what someone in the first trimester needs to hear...
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@dagret: ha! nice! way to shut them up.
we didn't have any bad reactions, although a lot of people asked if it was planned/we were trying. not in a bad way though as we were in our late 20s and married for two years! people just don't know what to say sometimes!
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My grandfather said (in response to being asked how he felt about becoming a great-grandfather) "Well, it's kinda like watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new Cadillac." So.....mixed bag?
My aunt said to me, "it just gets harder from here." Um, thanks?
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A co-worker who called me her bestie said "Thank you for sharing with me" and changed the subject. Took me by surprise since I was very supportive with her pregnancy, I thought she would reciprocate. Well we're not friends anymore.
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@rattles: Yikes!
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Most everyone has been very positive. I have been asked several times if my pregnancy was planned, which doesn't bother me, but it is a question I would never dream of asking anyone else.
I have also been on the other side of this situation. I was the bad friend who had a less than stellar response to a friend's announcement. I dont remember what i said, but I know it wasn't a joyful, heartfelt congrats. I think I was mostly shocked more than anything else and didn't know what to say. The look on my face must have been a terrible. I had seen this friend on multiple occasions in the weeks previous and was surprised she kept it a secret for so long because I thought we were close, so I was hurt. And in all fairness, the way she announced was weird, "Yeah work's been hard because I'm not feeling good because I'm pregnant and......." She kept talking on and on and I actually had to stop her and say, "Wait, what, you're pregnant?!?!" I was embarrassed at how I responded so the next day I sent her a note and a gift congratulating. I felt terrible.
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