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Sleep. I have high sleep needs, so I was terrified of having a horrible sleeper and being miserable. So far she's only an okay sleeper, but it honestly hasn't been bad.

Sleep and logistics (daycare, work, being sick, etc.). I'm scared of the same things for #2!

Just logistical stuff, but after having kids you just figure it out.

Daycare for sure, and it's been fine for us as well. Now looking forward to ttc #2 and daycare is still my biggest concern!

Maybe kind of selfish, but we knew we wouldn't be able to travel or scuba dive as much. Both have been a big part of our lives for last several years, so it has been a transition. We figured poor sleep should be transitory, but being able to drop everything to go diving together on the weekend, or travelling to remote locales, would not be feasible with small kids. I wouldn't trade my son for the world now, but it explains why we waited until our mid-30s to start our family.

I was put off for years by the phrase "swim diaper." Now one of my parenting mantras is, "urine is sterile."

Money and my career. Taking time off is tough for me because I'm self-employed, and if I'm not working my clients go elsewhere. I won't be able to take off nearly as much time as most women here (generally a year in Ontario), which makes me a little sad.

I've had a LOT of concerns about having a kid, including dealing with shitty sleep, establishing a decent work/life balance, maintaining my relationship with my husband, money, not being able to travel, childcare, turning into a resentful nag, etc. I'll actually be having a baby any day now, so we'll see how those things work themselves out.

I am an introvert. I need downtime to feel sane. I had no idea how I would balance that need with a baby.

It turns out that it took about a year and a half to find a balance, and I was pretty miserable until I did. Nursing made it especially tough.

Free time/down time, freedom and missing my relationship with my husband as it was pre-kids.

Free time - I am a homebody and really like alone time every day. I was miserable the first couple of months while I adjusted. It was strange, even though he slept a lot it took me a while to embrace his naps as my time to relax. I always felt like I had to be doing something since I was home. Dishes or cleaning the bathroom or whatever. Once I let go of that and gave myself "free time" to do what I wanted I became WAYYYYY happier. It also made me obsessive about his naps, but that's another story. This is also why I'm afraid to have another. If they don't nap at the same time, I'm scared of no alone time. So I want to wait till my son is in school or at least preschool so I have a big chunk of the day that's just me and baby.

- freedom. This one was hard for a while. I did insist on going out of the house alone or wth friends early on. But losing the complete freedom to not worry about anything but myself and what I felt like doing was hard. It's much MUCH better now since my husband is completely confident in caring for him at 17 months. I pretty much make plans when I want. Still don't have spontaneity but I can live with it. I also wonder if this loss of freedom is harder on first time moms who are a little older. I was 33 when I had him and had been pretty much on my own since college. I lived alone in Manhattan and really had a lot of freedom and fun! My sister had her first at 24 and was getting her masters right out of college while working full time. So she didn't have a lot of freedom or life experiences to "miss". But of course she has more of the "what ifs" than I do.

- missing my relationship prebaby. This one was a doozie. I might have had a little bit of anxiety or depression towards the end of my pregnancy as I think of it more. I would lay in bed for hours at night crying thinking about how much our relationship and lives would change. We have been together (on and off but mostly on) for 16 years! And of course 15 of that was just the two of us so I was so afraid of the adjustment. Unfortunately we DID hit a really rough patch, but I almost wonder if it was self fulfilling prophecy. Like I was so afraid of it that I almost forced it. But we are now pretty much the same as before which is such a relief. Sure, it's different and sometimes I miss being Each other's sole focus. But it's a lot better in many ways too. But again, I'm afraid of what another baby would do! Hopefully since it's less of a shock to the system we will handle it much better.

Giving birth was really the only thing I was worried about and I ended up having two c-sections so didn't have to face my fears

I just really loved my life prior to kids.So I was worried about how much it would change. I was worried about not being able to travel, sleep well, relax, have any "me time". And well, I don't get any of those things anymore haha but its all worth it. Life changed drastically and most days I look forward to my LO's nap times but life is way more fun and full of joy now

hmm... My fears are keeping up with life, lost alone time, and adjustments to our marriage. I'm really more excited about the adventure though!

1) Keeping my identity, interests, and lifestyle. I mean I know some thing will have to be reduced, but I'm afraid of losing myself.

2) Money

For me it's mostly been a deep seated fear that I will pass on the disordered thinking I inherited from my bipolar addict mother. I grew up in a very chaotic environment and am a big control freak with serious trust issues because of it. To deal with the environment I grew up in I ended up cutting some wires (so to speak) and am pretty closed off emotionally. I was very worried about being able to express love for my children (I'm a very reserved person).

I definitely find it so so easy to express the love and pride and joy I have in my daughter. I do worry about when she's older (like a teenager) because I don't have a good relationship with my mother and I've always just been a mother to my enabler father. So I definitely lean on my husband and try to use his relationship with his parents as a guide to what a healthy relationship looks like.

With most typical newborn/baby things I think HB prepared me fairly well. I owe this website so much of my sanity!