I hope you guys don't mind I totally made a thread just for ALL ABOUT ME. lol.

stuck in monitoring limbo. I'm not even technically on bedrest. I'm just not allowed to leave and probably won't leave until baby makes its appearance.

I've gotten one shot of the lungs steroid, and some of the magnesium sulfate for the brain. Iron is finally over 100 though so that's awesome. I'll probably get another treatment while I'm here as well as blood thinners.

I'm in my favourite part of the hospital too - mom & baby. Thankfully my roommate seems to not have her baby with her (okay I know TECHNICALLY that's an awful thing to say, but in this case I'm gonna give myself a pass on that).

Boys are with my inlaws, SO is staying here with me (poor guy but I don't really want him to leave just yet), and my mom (who lives 7ish hours away) is going to leave tomorrow afternoon to be here. I already made burial plans (if needed) last week so that's in place.

NICU doesn't want me delivering. at 410 grams the risk is simply too great and the risk of baby having a severe physical or mental handicap is pretty high too. The doc was advocating for me to try an induction first because a c-section at 21-22 weeks (the size of the baby) is pretty risky. I didn't like him much. He actually said "if we do an induction and he actually survives labour then we know he has a little "extra" something and might do well afterwards".
I just.......what? seriously? you actually just said that? *massive side eye* Also once he goes off shift I'm just going to get another doctors opinion on what we should do anyways so.....yeah.

So that's the info; as to how I'm feeling ..... right now, I'm just thinking it's best to think as if we won't be able to bring this baby home. Sucks, and I'm kinda mourning the name we chose, even though that IS his name. It just sucks that I won't ever get to really "use" it. OK, maybe that was weird to say? or an odd thing to be focusing on....but it's there.
And I'm also mourning the fact that if this one doesn't make it, then that's it for babies for me for at least another 3 years (due to personal life stuff, etc). When you're all ready for another child to join your family, knowing you have to wait a freaking long time for that to happen just sucks.