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I think it just depends on the person. For me, I miscarried and didn't want to talk about it to anyone at first. I locked myself in my house and only would talk to hubby. Yes, it's common and happens a lot, but it doesn't make the experience any less awful and difficult for women. I didn't want people asking me about it, because talking about it just made me cry even more. So it was better that nobody (other than my and hubby's family) knew.

I did end up telling my close friends about it when I felt ready. It was a couple of months after, and it was nice to have their support. But I wouldn't have done it any differently, and I didn't do it any differently when I got pregnant again.

We didn't wait that long to tell close family and friends. I agree that if something were to happen I'd want to have close friends and family support and people to know why I was having a rough time because I'd probably be snippy and grumpy. Besides for a few weeks of third trimester I'd say the first trimester was the toughest for me - between getting adjusted to the idea of pregnancy and being super tired and nauseous.

There are a wide variety of reasons why you would tell/don't tell. As for me, I am a pretty private person so I just did not want to discuss my TTC or pregnancy with just anybody. Some people at work didn't even know I was pregnant until I was 7 months along. That's just the kind of person I am. I plan on doing the same if I try for #2. I will definitely not tell anyone I am TTC ahead of time and DH agrees.

For me, the hubs and I wanted to savour this huge event alone and quietly. I also was afraid of miscarriage and if I did miscarry, I did not want to talk about it with anyone so we waited until 12 weeks.

For what its worth, some friends of ours didn't tell anyone until she started showing - about 4.5 months. They said it was so exciting and fun for the two of them to have their own little secret. I think DH & I would enjoy that aspect too, though maybe not for as long!

We told our parents right away, and I’m glad that we did. We had a scare early on where I was told by Urgent Care I would definitely have a miscarriage, following bleeding I had and U/S performed (follow up U/S by my own OB proved this diagnosis wrong). I was really, really glad we had told our parents because for those couple of days where I was basically waiting to miscarry, I had my mom and MIL to lean on, and had their love and support. I was thankful I could go to them, instead of having to feel like I had to keep the bad news to myself, and then make sure not to slip up and tell them at some point I had miscarried and risk having their feelings hurt that they couldn’t support me while I was grieving. I’m a very private person, but it just felt right to tell them. And luckily, I didn’t miscarry!

We told everyone after we heard the heartbeat because the odds were on our side, and then we lost the baby. Then everyone asked how the pregnancy was going for the next few months. Made it much harder for us. YMMV.

@mrbee: what does YMMV mean?

@sorrycharlie: It's one of those old Internet sayings, from back when the interwebs was just a single interweb:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/your_mileage_may_vary

We ended up telling our parents right away, I was so incredibly sick from hyper-emesis that it was impossible to hide. I also really needed support from my Mom who also suffered from hyper-emesis during that time. Co-workers of mine, and my boss ended up finding out early (I managed somehow to hide it until after we saw the heart beat at 7 weeks), but it is hard to hide vomiting hourly while you are at work (and I work at the hospital, so vomiting usually means being sent home). I knew if something happened it would be hard to tell everyone, but sometimes you just get stuck between a rock and a hard place.

@artbee: Not pregnant yet, but I don't plan on following all of it. I suck at keeping secrets and I like to blog, so I expect I'll be leaking the news rather early. I would like to keep the name/sex a secret until the baby is born though.

@TJBee: Everybody is different. If you want to share the news of your pregnancy right away, you are free to do so, but not everyone wants to do it that way and with good reason.

We'll probably tell our families immediately but not friends and co-workers. The more people you tell, the more people they tell and the information just continues to spread.

I know we would need the support of family if we miscarried but I wouldn't want to deal with the "how's the pregnancy going" questions from others when I'm grieving.

If I really needed or wanted a particular friend's support after a miscarriage, I'd tell them that I was pregnant but lost the baby. No need for them to know earlier to be able to still get their support.

I agree with what many of the others have said. I think you should do what feels right for you, but for me, I don't think I'd want to have to deal with the questions after having a miscarriage, especially from my husband's family. They've been pressuring us enough as is to have children, so I think if we were to tell them we're pregnant and then that we lost it, it would just be horrible. I'm sure they'd be supportive, but I think my husband's mom would actually blame me (although she'd never be so rude as to say it).

I'll definitely be telling my two best friends who I share EVERYTHING with, but other than them, I probably wouldn't tell anyone (including family) until 9-12 weeks. But that's just me.

@TJBee: Opposite happened to me. I told my very best friend looking for support, and she shrugged it off like no big deal. She just didn't understand, but it hurt a lot. Sometimes you just never know who will end up being a great support and who wont. My coworker was a great support for me, and that was unexpected.

Next time around, I'm still going to tell my mom and my coworker and that's it. It was too hard telling a bunch of people about the miscarriage. Most awkward one was my mom's housekeeper. My mom was just so excited. She told everyone she knew, but she promised to keep a tight lip next time around.

It's just a personal preference like everyone else said.

I don't really get keeping it from your parents/siblings - presumably you will tell them if you have a mc. We told immediate family and a few close friends at 5/6 weeks. Basically the people we told were ones that we would want to know about it if the worst happened.

We held off telling all and sundry until the second trimester. As pp have said it's not that you want to keep a mc secret you just don't want to have to explain your personal business to the random at work that you talk to once every 3 weeks. My fear would be that the fact that I have had a mc won't get around to all the people who knew I was pregnant and I would end up in that awful position of having to tell people. Over and over again.

We told our parents and siblings right away and then slowly started telling just a handful of people. For me personally I wasn't overly eager to start hearing everyone's opinions/advice/stories/etc. I have felt like crap the entire first trimester and don't really want to talk about it. I also hate complaining so my thinking was that if I kept it a secret I also would be able to complain to very many people. Complaining usually makes me feel worse so it's nice to not talk about it. My husband knows I feel like crap..no need to discuss it.

DH and I have just found out we're expecting and we're now working out our plan for releasing the news.

In some ways I think it's kind of sad that some people frown on people telling before a certain point in time, it's such exciting news and an expentant parents should be able to share their news with whoever they choose, whenever they choose.

That said it's also kind of nice that we have this really great secret that nobody else knows!

For us we plan on telling our parents and brothers and sisters this weekend on our first wedding anniversary, we'll probably tell our close friends as we see them any time from about 6/7 weeks along and we'll make some sort of general announcement to our wider families at around 10-12 weeks.

I'm hoping to be able to keep it under wraps at work till I'm around ten weeks along, gossip spreads very fast at my work and the girls in the office are already watching me like a hawke!