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I agree - sleep when baby sleeps. FDD was colicky and only slept on us, and only for short periods of time. And I'm a horrible sleeper and napper, so it was just out of the question.

@Cherrybee: totally agree! I hate that one lol

Also the bit about letting the house go. Don't worry about dishes and laundry?! Uh, eventually you need clean stuff!

@ElbieKay: I totally agree with you! I find if you let the house go, everything is 100 times more difficult - you can't find stuff, you stand on things! - and it makes you feel depressed too. It implies that having a newborn is easy, its *you* that's making it hard by having unreasonable expectations of, you know, a clean cup to put your coffee in!

@Applesandbananas: +1. I have a friend that needs to remove this phrase from her vocabulary.

Not all kids are the same so saying "just you wait" doesn't always apply and scares people unnecessarily.

I agree with all of these! lol. Sorry, that 30 minute nap is the only time I have to shower and Im not sleeping through it and Im not really going to enjoy a colicky baby who screams 20/24 hours a day.

I think breast is best is pretty terrible advice too, just because it isn't always. Extenuating circumstances exist and the phrase causes unnecessary guilt and anxiety.

Agree with, " Enjoy every second!"

Also, anyone who says you need to wake your (healthy, alert when awake etc.) baby to feed them. Eff that! My baby will tell me when she's hungry, thank you very much!

@sorrycharlie: Gah! This one drove me crazy. I was on bedrest during my 2nd trimester, when I actually felt GREAT! Being stuck in bed forced to look at my poorly neglected dirty house and an empty canvas of a nursery and not be able to do anything was TORTURE! As if I can "save up" sleep minutes for later. Shesh.

ugh, "enjoy every minute" is the worst. if you are struggling, it just makes you feel so guilty and shameful that you aren't enjoying it.

@sorrycharlie: Yes! "Sleep while you can" is just as stupid as "sleep when the baby sleeps." I think the quality of my sleep is actually higher now. I never slept longer than two hours during the second half of my pregnancy anyway, and my baby is on a fairly regular 3hr cycle. So this isn't all that different.

These make me feel so much better!

@jhd: for the record, I've decided (in my supreme wisdom 48 hours into it) that the hard part for me right now about baby not sleeping for long is actually that I went into labor at the end of the day, so I started out tired from being pregnant, then tired from being up for 40 hours, THEN that the baby didn't sleep. Also, these hospital beds suck. But, I'm not in so much pain that I can't breathe, so I have a feeling that the quality of sleep now will be *much* better now than when I was pregnant, even if the quantity isn't so much. Hang in there, Mama-little man is coming so soon! In the meantime, I hope you can get some rest

@jhd: I've been sleeping better or the same with a newborn. And at least when I'm up, there is a cute baby (albeit maybe a little scream-y) instead of just pregnancy anxiety and discomfort.

Also this thread. Thank you all for this thread from someone whose 8-day-old son is amazing but giving us a run for our money. This stuff was just what I needed to read this morning.

@LovelyPlum: i hope you get some better rest soon! when do you go home?

@gilmoregirl: good to hear. hang in there!

Get him on a schedule! Don't let him get too attached! Don't let him manipulate you!

This thread is making me feel bad that I really did enjoy the newborn days...I'll try to remember not to mention this to my new mom friends or tell them to enjoy the first days/weeks!

@ILoveLettie: yes that is bullshit. Breastfeeding hurts at first. I wish they told everyone how hard breastfeeding is at first so that when we struggle or it hurts we don't feel like we are failing.

Honestly I hated any general guidelines like "babies eat every two hours" or your baby should do xyz. Um, no my baby ate constantly, there is nothing wrong with that. She gained like crazy and gave me a strong supply.

Baby isn't here yet, but I don't get all the ominous "just you wait" or "you have no idea" fear tactics either. I just don't understand why people say it. Everyone knows babies are a lot of work. Also, I'm already pregnant so if that was going to deter me it's a bit too late now!

Agreed with the above. I also HATE when parents tell people who don't have kids but are planning to things like "enjoy your time /weekends/sleep because once you have kids... " as if having kids is some sort of post-apocolyptic hellscape. I still like, enjoy my weekends even if I have a baby, ha ha ha.

@Dandelion: oh man. I hear you. I have two older boys 6 & 9. I got that aaaaall the time. "oh my, 3 boys! You are going to have your hands full!" ugh. I can't really deny it, but 3 kids, no matter the gender, are a handful.

I get a lot of "are you going to try for a girl?" cue rawrs.

My baby was a terrible sleeper, I got a lot of "your baby SHOULD be sleeping through the night by now, maybe you need to do x, y, z". thanks for the tips.

The urgency people clearly felt to tell me to "sleep when the baby sleeps" was SUPER annoying. I will never tell this to a new mother. When baby is sleeping, I have about a MILLION things that need to get done, like eating for the first time in two days. I slept when DH was home and taking his shift, period.

Breast is best is also not only bad advice but pretty condescending IMO. To assume that you know what is best for someone else's baby is just dumb. (unless you are a doctor and even then it's a fine line). I think anything that nourishes the baby and helps him 'thrive' is best. The second I gave up trying to breastfeed was one of the happiest moments in our lives as a new family lol.