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@regberadaisy: yes, this exactly.

Her first month brings back very painful memories because I literally starved her while trusting the nurses and LC when they said she was getting enough from the breast. I was overwhelmed with guilt when she wound up in the NICU for severe dehydration and jaundice. I wish I had trusted myself and supplemented even though I was told not to.

Um, pretty much everything up until she was a year old. Severe PPD, colic, sleep issues, MSPI. The whole experience was really quite traumatic, other than breastfeeding.

Lack of kangaroo care in the first few weeks. I really think that it affected my severe baby blues after that. I felt so guilty about holding one kid and not the other that I just wouldn't hold either. That, and I was so tired that I just wanted to die, so any time they were sleeping, I would just lay on the couch. I remember one point, they were both dozing in the boppies and I just passed out on the couch, and I woke up to them being awake and just looking out the window. It wasn't a big deal, but I felt guilty for how much I didn't want to hold them.

I feel like I need to justify my need/want to stop breastfeeding at 7 months. I also feel guilt that we chose to buy a new house and put him in daycare, rather than getting a nanny. I know the house benefits him too, especially in the long run. But I feel so guilty because he's sick from daycare all. the. time. To the point where they're running out of antibiotics to give him because he's been on them so often. He's had pneumonia twice in in his one year of life :(. I feel like if we had a nanny instead he'd be exposed to so much less germs.

@HazelEyes: I feel you!! I quit pumping at 10.5 months. I was getting 1 ounce per day, and just couldn't stand the feelings of inadequacy. We are still comfort nursing each morning, and I'm determined to make it at least 3 more weeks (when she turns one). That's just me being super stubborn.

Sending lots of good vibes you're way. You are so strong, and giving your baby so much of yourself!!

interesting term! i think many of my wounds are healing and then sometimes new ones open up. for a while, it was her talking, but she's learning new words every day, so that's healed.

My "mom wound" is that i had PPD and my son has colic, and i didn't like, love, even want to be near him until he was 8 weeks old when i thought for the first time that i just 'liked him' it was only when he was through the worst of his colic and i was through the worst of my Post partum depression that i thought to myself that i loved him. It hurts me when i talk to people who had that emmotional connection / love for their child right after they were born. Its taken me a long time to realize i wasn't a horrible monster mom because it took us longer than usual to figure it out.

With my 1st there are a few wounds, colic for the first 9 months, subjecting him to an abusive marriage which resulted in a divorce, a deadbeat Dad who hasn't seen his 12.5 year old in probably 5.5 years. I feel tremendous guilt for that, I should've never had a baby in that situation.

#2 would be going back to work at 2.5 weeks old so that my boss could go on vacation. Her teeth, she refused to let us brush her teeth for the first 2 years of her life, we have seen a few dentists about it too. She still puts up a fight at age 3, I have to hold he down every time.

I'm having a hard time coming up with anything for my third, it's there though

My wound with N is giving up on EPing for a year. I wanted to make a year but it just didn't happen. Now I hear often how I am ebf E way longer then N got breast milk.

My wound with E is our constant struggle with feeding solids. His mouth just doesn't seem to get it. My patients wears thin with the constant comments that I am starving him by not giving him real food.

@2PeasinaPod: that does make me feel better I'm glad it's a two year old thing, and not just that he never gets to mess around outdoors. Can't wait for summer though! I don't know how I'll swing it, but I want to take the family on vacation so much!!!

Going to school full time (in a competitive program) with a toddler... *I* don't feel bad about it because I know it's worth it and I actually really enjoy being able to finish my education in a field I love... But when other people insinuate that I'm missing out on raising my child because he's "only little once", it makes me ragey.

Most people are supportive and think it's great- and there are a number of other parents in my program, but some people are very insensitive.

@littlejoy: I get it. And thank you. Three weeks? You've got that!

I have to add another one though... DS had colic for 3.5 months. It was sooo hard and I have to say, it really makes me nervous about having a second kid.

With #1, it was his traumatic home birth turned hospital transport and currently it's his expressive speech issues.

With #2, it was the fact that I had to have an induction because I went to 42 weeks and a lot of people told me it was because I was afraid of birth after my experience with DS.

Probably her sleep. I get pretty bitter when people talk about their LOs amazing sleep.

Thank you for this thread. Mine is my cesarean and everything related to it - I get into ruts a lot in my head, spinning in circles about why I couldn't birth my baby and whether it was necessary and what I did wrong and how I'm less of a woman for it and blahblahblah. Anyway, it helps somehow to have this communal sharing of how we all think we're suboptimal mothers for one reason or another. It's sad, too, because we all try so hard and probably deserve to feel better about our efforts. Sigh.

With my first, it was being so young, still in college, unmarried - everyone doubted our parenting capability. It was rough.
With my second, she's not behind but she takes longer at reaching milestones than her big bro did - I'm constantly worried that she isn't learning at the pace she should be.
With my third, I don't give her enough attention. She's so easy that I can put her in her walker and do things with the other two (homework, cleaning, making dinner) and I feel loads of guilt by the end of the day that I didn't interact with her enough...ugh.

I'm sorry so many mamas feel so much guilt around breastfeeding

For me, it's my son's sleep. He's 18 months and isn't consistently sleeping through the night. He did for a few months but he got sick and he's never really got back on track. I hate talking about it and it's tough not having a full night of sleep... ever!!