I'm 9w3d and still freaking out one of the twins is going to vanish. We've had 3 u/s where we've seen/heard the heartbeats and they've been within a day of each other in terms of growth. Our RE just released me to my OB after our 8w3d scan and I don't have another appointment until 10w5days. My worry is only increased by my symptoms coming and going. So multiple mommas I'm wondering when your doctor told you you could stop worrying about vanishing twin?
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This isn't exactly in response to your question, but I had a vanishing twin with my 1st pregnancy. I didn't find out until my 2nd appointment, which was at 12 weeks (the first was at 10 weeks). I passed a fairly large "something" right at 6 weeks, but had no bleeding or cramping. I called my doctor's office and they said it didn't sound like a miscarriage, and that I didn't need to come in. At the 12 week u/s, the tech found an empty sac and an ob came in to confirm and said it looked like a vanishing twin. It was kind of a strange experience because we had been told at 10 weeks that there was only one baby, so twins weren't even on our radar and we didn't really feel like we had had a loss. All of that to say, it happened relatively early for me. I hope you can find some peace of mind and I hope both of those babies stay put!
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@lamariniere: thank you for sharing this! I'm sorry about your lost twin. This seems to be the most common story I read when looking through Google, a fairly early loss of one twin. Our RE did tell us at our very first ultrasound he wouldn't be surprised if one didn't develop but by the time he released me to my OB was like congrats on the twins. I should probably just trust what he said and stay away from Dr. Google.
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I didn't find out I was carrying twins until 9 weeks, at our first u/s. My doctor never mentioned any concern of vanishing twin syndrome ... I'm assuming it's because the risk had passed? HTH!
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@MrsTal: When my RE released me to my OB, it seemed like we had moved beyond the biggest risk of vanishing twin. That was around 8 weeks, I think? But I had an ultrasound at every single appt to check their heartbeats, because there's just always a chance something could happen later. Once I saw MFM at 16 weeks I felt a lot better because he confirmed that they were in their own sacs and that we were the lowest risk kind of twins (which we already assumed since I had transferred two embryos, but of course one embryo could split which might have led to higher risk twins). Of course, the MFM scared us to death about the continued risk of twins (notably pre-term labor, incompetent cervix), so my fear of vanishing twins just transferred into fears of having preemies. After IF and then a high risk twin pregnancy, I just never felt 100% comfortable. I always felt like we cheated the system a little and some day the other shoe would drop. During delivery, I was still afraid we'd lose one. That's not really logical, but I just never wanted to take my twin pregnancy for granted or as a sure thing because unfortunately I've heard many stories of twin pregnancies going wrong. I was very lucky that in the end I made it to 38 weeks (albeit on bedrest the last 6 weeks) and both kids were born healthy. I'm wishing you a very long and healthy twin pregnancy!
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@MrsTal: Okay, this is off the top of my head, and therefore probably isn't helpful, but here's my two cents.
I think vanishing twin syndrome is more of a very early pregnancy thing. At this point, where you've seen both heartbeats, etc., and you're being passed on to your regular OB, I think the chance of a vanishing twin is probably extremely low. I don't actually remember my OB or my MFM actually ever talking to us about that particular risk and we found out we had twins at 8 weeks, so that is probably what I base my assumption on that your risks are pretty low at this point. There is obviously still other risks, but as far as the vanishing twin thing, I think that would be getting very low at this point.
The other thing I want to say, and it probably won't make a big difference because it probably wouldn't have made a big difference for me in the middle of my twin pregnancy, is to try--really, really try--to just enjoy that you have two sweet babies growing in you and right now everything looks great. Even with a "perfect" twin pregnancy, there is increased risks of a variety of things, and I definitely let the worry steal my joy. Because our twins were identical and shared a placenta (mono-di), we had ultrasounds every two weeks from my 8 week diagnosis of mono-di twins until delivery to monitor for Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. After every ultrasound, I would relax more for about a week and then spend the entire next week an anxious mess worrying about what the next ultrasound would show. I wanted everything to be okay so desperately, but I was so worried about something happening that I was very guarded and didn't really let myself get excited or bond as much with the idea of my two sweet babies until they were born. I counted down every week until I was at viability, then I counted down until 28 weeks, and then 32, etc., each one marking off another milestone that it would be better if the babies could at least stay in that long. Even in my single pregnancies since then, I still count down to viability, so maybe I'm just a worrier. But, I really, really try now to just love this little baby I'm growing and be thankful for every day I get to be its mama no matter how long that is. It wouldn't change how devastated I would be if something happened, but at least I feel like I would have known that I fully focused my love and joy on that baby while I had it. Anyway, like I said, I know what I'm saying is probably impossible, but especially once your out of your first trimester, as much as possible, try to just focus on how great it is that as of right now everything looks good. I feel like I would have enjoyed my pregnancy so much more if I hadn't been spending all my time researching every possible thing with TTTS, preterm labor, etc. Sorry for the preaching, I just wish someone had been able to make me do that, if it's even possible! If you're crazy like me and will worry no matter what, feel free to PM me, and I'm happy to talk through worries, excitements, etc. as you go along this fun, anxiety inducing road.
I so hope you have a perfect twin pregnancy!
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@mrstal thank you SO MUCH for asking this. I have been wondering this since my last appointment. I go for my 10 week today.
Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences. Going through a twin pregnancy has been full of anxiety so far (self-inflicted).
My husband is trying to remind me to not be negative and to enjoy the present. But it can be so hard!
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@sunshineandsushi: thank you! That seems reassuring.
@twodoghouse: we just were released too at 8 weeks so I think that may be right. I feel the same way after IF, with DS pregnancy I never fully relaxed. It's such a hard road. I'm going to try to enjoy it and live in the moment.
@Mrs. Blue: that's what I've been reading as well, that it seems to be an earlier phenomenon. I feel like I have a similar pattern as you did with ultrasounds. I relax for a few days to a week and then start to freak out until the next one. I'll try to take your advice and enjoy these two and this pregnancy (easier said than done of course).
@Run2shore: no problem! It's been weighing heavily on my mind for the last week so I finally let myself ask. Hope this helps you too!
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@MrsTal: my OB never said a specific date but I personally felt a lot better and more confident that everything would turn out okay after the NT scan. I had that very thorough screening at 13w and both babies had a fully functional placenta and their screening results were perfect and that's when I decided that it was really meant to be. Hope all goes well with your and @Run2shore: twin pregnancies and you get to hold your babies soon
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@MrsTal: not really the answer to your question but when my OB told us we'd had what appeared to be a vanishing twin, we had already lost it before six weeks. I remember googling about it at the time and I ageee it did seem to be more of an early thing. Hope all is well!
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@Mrs. Blue: I felt so similarly. My pregnancy joy was completely robbed.
No one ever mentioned anything about a vanishing twin to me and I found out at 5w6d we were having twins!
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Hmm I am not sure. I lost one of my twins last pregnancy which was discovered at like 9 weeks but stopped growing at like 8 weeks 4 days. B was always a few days smaller than A. Good luck! 1st tri is so hard with all the worries.
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