I'm talking about crying and crankiness during the "witching hour" in the evenings. My 12 week old is still quite fussy at dinnertime. He's pretty good and affable during the days but my DH and I haven't eaten together in weeks! When will this end?
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My littlest babe used to scream for no apparent reason from about 6 pm to 9 pm. It started to subside around the 6-8 week mark. But, today, at 9 months, he's still fussy around dinner. I think it's mainly because he's hungry and tired, though.
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DS is 5 months and he still is more fussy in the evenings but way less than when he was younger. I think it started to get better around the 3 month mark.
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My 4mo is still an evening turd.
I just listened to him scream for the past hour. So no advice just sympathy
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Wearing my son in the Moby was the only thing that got us through those dreaded witching hours. I'd say by 3 months he was mostly over it, but I remember those days of pacing around outside, baby in the Moby, me taking deep breaths very well. It DOES get better, and you aren't alone! Hope your LO turns a corner soon!
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Honestly, she didn't really stop being fussy around dinner time until she was old enough to eat dinner with us. Now, at 7 months, she's still a bit fussy while I'm making dinner, but loves sitting in her high chair and eating dinner with us.
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I have found that with my two that usually around 8-12w they just needed an early bedtime. Most of the crying was happening because they were tired or overstimulated from the day. Once they started a 6-7pm bedtime, evenings became much more enjoyable again.
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Same as @Pumuckl: an earlier bedtime around nine/ten weeks calmed everything. None of mine were too screamy by just wanted to be held from five until bedtime. It annoyingly coincides with dinner prep but baby carriers worked wonders. I also found popping them in a rocking chair in the kitchen and rocking with my foot bought me enough time to get food on the table.
Hang in there mama. -
@ChiCalGoBee: yes me too, he needs to be wrapped! I eat my dinner over his head
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I just wanted to share this - my post partum doula and my pediatrician both told me that a young babies bedtime should be between 5 and 7pm and usually babies who have a "witching hour" are overtired and should be sleeping.
I know that it may not be true for every baby, but it worked for us. It sounds crazy but we started putting him to bed by like 6/6:30pm and the evening fussies went away around 6 weeks.
I also thought it was interesting that 2 people I trust told me that independently. (Dr Weissbluth's book also says 5-7pm for bedtime, which just cemented it for me).
Of course this means that we never eat dinner as a family of 3 but we are ok with that. LO eats and goes to bed by 7 (he's now 18 months) and the two of us eat together after he's in bed 5/7 nights I'd say. -
@SweetiePie: Funny you say this, I've read the same thing and am thinking he needs to be asleep earlier! We have made his bedtime earlier and earlier and he seems to be less fussy. We are now at 7pm but maybe I should try earlier?
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@pachamama: I was just coming here to say the same thing as @SweetiePie:
My DD had a 5:30 bedtime for quite a while and then a 6:00 bedtime for a ridiculously long time. She still has a 7:00 bedtime and she's 2 and a half.
Witching hour got significantly better when she started eating food because she could sit with us. But fair warning, she's still cranky during witching hour at 2 and a half!
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@pachamama: It might totally be the chase that he needs an even earlier bedtime. It was especially with my DD (whose 14.5m now) that it really helped that I kept her without a paci during the day and once she started fussing it was off to bed. This is still true now! So maybe there are some clues that your LO gives you that you need to deciffer. And a 6pm bedtime could totally help. My DD has only slowly moved her bedtime back and it moved forward again once she moved to one nap and no more cat naps in the car on the way home from daycare.
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@My Only Sunshine: @pachamama: @Pumuckl: We totally did 5:30 bedtime during different phases as well. We did it for a bit when he was a newborn, but he fell into a pattern around 6 weeks where he took a catnap around 4:30-5:15, woke up, ate, bath, and was back in bed by 6/6:30. I was worried the nap would ruin bedtime but it only helped!
It feels super weird to do it so early, especially now with DST, but he falls asleep quickly and still sleeps 12 hours so I know he needs it. But he's always been high sleep needs!
And I am always hesitant to post a super early bedtime because I know it doesn't work for everyone (two WOH parents, for example. If they both aren't home till 6/6:30 it's pretty hard to do).I also read in an article once that one of the biggest "sleep mistakes" parents make is keeping the baby up to see a working parent. It said to consider time with the parent as quality over quantity. While it's hard to come home and LO is already in bed (for my husband), if he's just a crying snotty mess it isn't fun for anyone anyway. So it's better to have quality time (mornings and weekends) over quantity (keeping him up to see him every night).
It's less of an issue now that his bedtime is more like 7/7:30, but on days he has a bad nap, for example, he still goes to bed at like 6:30 and DH just understands that it's best for everyone, even if he misses him. -
We had a max 6pm bed time at that time. I discovered at about 5 weeks that I put him down for a late nap at approx 5pm. He woke at 10:30, ate and slept again. I enjoyed my evenings, but both parents were able to see him without problems every day.
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@SweetiePie: that was exactly my concern, that my husband would never see my baby as he gets home at 6 p.m. But all he does is cry anyway. You make a good point of quality over quantity.
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@Mrs. Toad: That's a really good point. When they go to bed earlier you also get some more time to enjoy yourselves. Either as a couple or some much-needed alone time. When I was putting him to bed at six and his first wake up was midnight, it felt amazing to get that six hours on interrupted. I would say that for me it was almost worse losing alone time and couple time that it was losing some sleep. So when I got a big stretch in the evening it really helped.
@pachamama: i'll try to find that biggest sleep mistakes article I was telling you about and post it here. It was from parents magazine.
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I think it was the worst for us when LO moved to two naps kind of on the early side (5.5 months) and she was READY for bed at 6:30 but wouldn't always go down that early. I think she was maybe 8 or 9 months when she could get to a 7/7:30 bedtime without it being a mess.
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@pachamama: I can't find the exact article and I might have been confusing the title of the article where I read about working parents. BUT here is the top sleep mistakes article Anyway because I still think it's a good read.
http://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/issues/sleep-mistakes-baby-how-to-get-baby-to-sleep/And my husband does the morning wake up so that he ensures that he always sees him. So maybe you could try this. He is guaranteed with our son from 7am to 8am. It's a win win all around. I get a little extra sleep and they get some guaranteed quality time. LO is by far happiest in the morning right after he wakes, so it's always pleasant.
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My 7mo is still pretty cranky in the evening and he's always asleep by 6:30-7!
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@MrsADS: Out of curiosity, what time does he wake up in the morning?
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@SweetiePie: This is a great article!
I like the idea of DH spending time with him in the morning. Baby is super cute in the morning. Last night he wasn't too fussy so we had a nice dinner (had to wear him in the sling tho but that's ok) -
@pachamama: just wanted to chime in that we do the same thing as @SweetiePie: DS settled on a 6:30 bedtime pretty early (around 4 months, shortly after sleep training) and the witching hour basically disappeared. I work earlier hours (8-4) so my quality time with DS is in the afternoon. DH does mornings and usually can get home by 6 so he can at least help with bedtime, but he gets his quality time with DS in the mornings. Now that DS is older (19 months) his bedtime is 7pm so DH most nights gets more time with him that way. We are all happy with the arrangement. DS falls asleep super easily (even on nights when he's full of energy, like last night, he still goes right to sleep) and consistently sleeps 12 hours. DH and I get couple time, get to make nice dinners/drink wine/watch TV, and as a bonus, DH has enough time to log back onto his work after all of that so he can consistently leave in time to get home for bedtime. The early bedtime is seriously a lifesaver in our household!
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