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@Umbreon: My answer might come off as harsh, but I think it's reality? Sadly I think you are in the VAST minority of working parents that can get home by 4. And DH too? seriously UNHEARD OF. I pick up my kids around 5:15 and so we have 2-3 hours together at night. Honestly that's enough. I'm exhausted by caring for them after a full day of work. And my DH does not get home until 6 most nights and leaves before the kids wake up. I think what we have is pretty great (considering we live in a super high cost of living area and are both very career-oriented) and we make it work, but lots of people have much, much harder schedules and less time with their kids. Obviously we all want more quality time with our family, but just be thrilled you AND DH have such early work schedules that give you that gift. Most people do not at all.

DH is usually home by 5 and starts the boys dinner (usually heated up leftovers or something in the air fryer) before picking him up at daycare at 5:30.

I get home around 5:30 or so. Before the guys get home, I set up the bedtime/morning routine (get out clothes for the boy for the next day, make sure pajamas are out, washcloth for bath, etc.).

The kid comes home and has to eat immediately. We sit with him, but at most have a snack at that point. We read books and play if he's willing to eat well/quickly. At 6:30 we start the bedtime routine (bath, books, bed).

DH and I have dinner and shower after the boy is in bed at 7.

Three hours before bed would be huge! But as it is, DH leaves for work at 5:30 and I'm getting up then to get the kid and I ready for daycare/the ride to work.

Our kids are 4.5 and 6. Right now DH picks up from two locations and gets home between 5 and 5:30. He gets the kids showered. I get home about 5:30 and start dinner. We may squeeze in a little 1st grade homework between shower and dinner but the bulk of it is done on the weekend and a small amount is done at afterschool care.

The kids help me (or just talk to me) while I make dinner. We eat dinner together around 6:15. We finish around 6:45. Then they get ready for bed. We read and they go to bed around 7:45.

DH does the dishes while I brush teeth and tuck in. Then I pack lunches. We don't clean much on weekdays because we don't have much time to mess the house up. DH and I both workout, do any prep for the next day, shower, and fall asleep watching 45 min of tv.

When it's light outside we find more time to play outside before dinner. I don't know where that time comes from but we make it work. Often at a park or in the neighborhood. I managed that even when I handled the kids solo until 6:30 (it was probably more important then).

We get home between 5:15 and 5:30 when I have leftovers or something in the crockpot or something similarly easy we eat together as a family around 5:45-6 and then E heads to bed around 7, if she didn't nap its earlier and if I don't have something easy and quick for dinner then she eats without us and we eat after she goes to bed. Some nights I get an hour with her before she needs her sleep and I would rather a good hour then 2-3 filled with meltdowns and increasing frustration. I do all clean up/meal prep/chores after E is in bed and try to limit distractions during her awake time. We try to sit with her while she eats if its one of those nights where family dinner is just not happening.

Currently have a 5 & 3 year old, about to have #3.

My mom picks up my 5 year old after school. DH comes home with 3 year old around 4:30 and he will make dinner between 4:30-5:30, then my mom leaves whenever he's done. I get home at 6 and we eat. Then we take turns cleaning up while the other hangs out with the kids. OR if they're being angels and playing together nicely, then we both just hurry and clean up so we have some family time before started bedtime routine around 7:30, in bed at 8.

This routine w/ a baby is definitely trickier; I remember when DD2 was a baby we usually had to put her down earlier than 8pm, so I remember feeling sad that I barely got time with the baby, then my older b/c I had to put baby to bed then she was in bed. But it's just a phase and things will keep changing!

We have DD’s ages 3.5 and 6, and DS on the way. Both WOH FT. We’re fortunate in that 3 weekdays we eat with family, but unfortunate in that due to our 3.5 year old being ridiculous I currently have to go to bed at the same time as my kids so don’t have time for evening chores. I usually do chores in the morning. My house, work, daycare, and school are all within the same village so all within 5 minute drive which is HUGE. Weeknight dinners at home are leftovers or super easy.

The girls shower every other night. I like to have them in the shower between 6:45-7. I do some chores during this time as long as they aren’t fighting. I let them play in the tub for a while so I can do this and get myself ready for bed. DD2 likes to go to bed by 7:30 but it’s often 8. I often go downstairs with DD1 and do puzzles after that until 8:30-9pm.

DH does dinner cleanup and dishes. Half the time he leaves dishes until the morning—I don’t care as long as it’s not me doing it!

Monday: I leave work and pick up DD2 and my niece at daycare at about 5-5:15, then we go to my SIL’s house and eat. We swap who makes dinners. If it’s me, it’s leftovers from Sunday. The kids play and SIL and I chat/hang out while the kids play. We leave around 6:30-7. DH gets home about 9.

Tuesday: My MIL babysits DD2 and niece and gets DD1 to/from school. We typically eat at her house. We usually stay until 7ish, and the kids often bathe there (in that case we sometimes don’t leave until a little later). Everyone hangs out together in the living room while the kids play. DH gets home about 9.

Wednesday: DH gets DD1 off the bus. He’s supposed to make dinner but we’re lax about it and often do leftovers or make pizza or tuna. I pick DD2 up about 5:15.

Thursday: My mom babysits and gets DD2 to/from school. Huge: she makes dinner and usually cleans up. Every other Thursday we have 4H. When I’m not pregnant, I do a run club on the alternate Thursdays. Right now DH and I are doing date nights instead (we get a sitter either way). If it’s a 4H night I often have to take both girls and we’re there 6:30-7:30 so skip baths even if it’s a bath night. If we have the sitter she bathes the girls. DH usually does grocery pick up Thursdays.

Friday: I get DD1 off the bus at 3:50 (o get to work early to do this). We have a snack and either play a game or start dinner before picking up DD2 at daycare. DH usually arrives home at some point and goes on a run. We try to eat dinner together (something easy or take out), but if DH hasn’t run yet I prefer him to do that than eat dinner with us.

I'm amazed at how many people get home by 5 or earlier. DH and I both work 25 minutes away, adding daycare pickup and rush hour means we get home at 6 at the earliest. DH stays late at work to study for school so he usually doesn't get home till after 7.

I make something super easy and quick like corndogs or pasta for dinner. Sometimes we're lucky to have leftovers from the weekend. Then I let the kids play independently while DH and I catch up.

Kids do their own thing while I try to run laundry or organize some disaster around the house. Between 8-8:30 we get them in pajamas (baths are not a favorite so we don't do them often), brush teeth, wash faces and settle on the couch for cuddles and a show while I read a book. Kids usually go to bed around 9-9:30 and we go to bed just after.

I'm fortunate to have flex work hours and blackout curtains so my kids can sleep in since they're up later then all of yours. Otherwise DH wouldn't see the kids with his schedule.

Our evenings are much the same as above posters and they are not ideal in any way shape or form. Some nights we are just surviving and then some nights feel long and relaxing. We haven't even added in any extra curricular activities yet so I can't even imagine life then! And DH complains that we don't get enough one on one time now.... I don't know what to even do with that.

But a typical night is me picking up DS at 450-5 pm, his daycare closes at 5 and I work until 4 with an hour commute so most nights I'm fighting the traffic to get there with a min or two to spare.. then I sweep over and pick up DD from school after care at about 515 and then we are home at 520-530.

Then I get them home, most often times they need snack/drink asap and DD uses the bathroom. Then I change and start dinner.. We do easy dinners and some prepared meals and left overs for most of the week. Try to eat at 6-615. Dinner clean up 630. 645 pj's and relax time with TV and snuggles on couch until 715 or 730 when we head upstairs for bedtime routine.

As stated some nights are easy as pie and other nights seem like a nightmare... but I try to make the best of it.

DH and I both work full time jobs outside the house with two kids (DS is 7 and DD is 3; baby #3 is expected in March). We don't leave our offices until 5 and aren't all back home after pick-ups until around 5:45 p.m. We're very much into a divide and conquer approach. On a typical night, one person does pick-ups and the other preps dinner and makes school lunches for the next day. The kids usually arrive home during that process and amuse themselves until dinner is ready. We all sit down to eat together and during dinner we usually play a question game (similar to Table Topics for Kids). While one of us cleans up after dinner, the other parent tackles the elementary school homework with DS and DD usually plays by herself. Once dishes are done, we usually try to play with the kids for a few minutes unless it's bath night (that happens twice a week in our house). We try to start DD's nighttime process around 7:15 p.m. so she can be in bed around 7:30 p.m. and DS's process around 8 p.m. so we have 30 minutes or so to read before he needs to be in bed. DH and I have pretty demanding jobs so it isn't uncommon that one or both of us needs to log back on after the kids go down. It's uncommon for us to do much in terms of household chores (laundry, etc.) in the evening other than some minimal meal prep for the next day, etc. If we don't have to work after bedtime, we usually try to just relax and go to bed early. Unfortunately, we don't get a lot of quality time with the kids during the week. We try to plan family time for the weekends.

ETA: It takes awhile after maternity leave to hit your stride. Just give yourself some grace while you are figuring out what works for you.

We're very similar to most here - 2 hours from getting home to kids bedtime. DDs are 2 and 3.75. Baby 3 due next week. Both DH and I WOH. Me and the girls get home around 4:45, DH around 5:15. During the week, we do a lot of leftovers, crockpot meals, or things that are very quick to cook (spaghetti, breakfast for dinner, etc). We're usually eating by 5:30, bath at 6, 6:30 books/songs/tuck in, leave the room no later than 7. They usually wake up around 6am to leave the house by 6:45.

Being a full time WOH is hard! I was talking to my SIL who just had her baby and she was asking me how we did it. It's just something that we do. You figure out a schedule as you go along. And that schedule changes with each stage of life. I've learned to just roll with it and make sure the time I spend with my kids is quality time.

You will find what works for you.

My oldest is starting his 4th year of baseball, we will have two practices a week and two games for a few months starting in March. The following year my little one will be in t-ball so we will have two separate baseball schedules to manage! That one scares me a bit but I know we will work it out. We will be having lots of dinners on the go!

I’m in the same position as a lot of others here. We usually get up at 6:40 am, I walk DD to school and drop her off at 7:50. When I get home depends on what bus I catch and how late it’s running (public transportation is generally okay in my city but the specific bus lines to my neighborhood suck big time). Most often, I’m home just before 6 and then have to make dinner because DH doesn’t really cook. We eat at 6:30/6:45 and DD goes to bed at 8, so I don’t get a lot of time with her. I’m struggling with this because when she was in daycare, I picked her up and we rode the bus together, so we had an extra 45 minutes together that we don’t have anymore. DH now has significantly more time with her than he used to because he picks her up right after school 2x per week and usually also gets her from aftercare the other days. Hopefully I can start working from home more often to cut the commute time a day or two per week.

Evenings are crazy! We have two boys, 6.5 and 16 months. DH picks them up from daycare and is home about 4:30. DS2 is hangry so he gives him something to eat and then starts dinner. I get home at 5 or a little later in the bad weather. We all eat dinner and then I put DS2 to bed. Usually he’s in bed at 6. Then dinner clean up and lunch making, homework. DS1 is in bed for 7:30.

We don’t do showers/baths every night. We try and have leftovers so DH is not cooking every night and on the weekend we try and cook meals with enough leftovers to freeze.

It is a crazy time but I know soon enough things will change, the boys will be able to help more and won’t have to go to bed so early. For now we just do what is best in this stage.

Having 2 parents home at 4:15pm sounds dreamy. I do usually get home at 4:15, though a couple of times a week it is 5:15pm but my husband doesn't get home until 7pm. The key is to get really good at 20 minute dinners! We only do bath twice a week. I put them to bed at 7pm. We spend time reading stories - that's really the quality time I get with them as otherwise it feels like a rush of dinner, cleanup, unpack backpacks, bath, pjs, etc.

@Umbreon: I know we are lucky - I usually work 8-4 or so then go get it DS at preschool. Home around 5. DW is a professor so she’s almost always home by 5 too and starting dinner. I take DS up at 7 for playtime, stories, bed. DW cleans the kitchen and handles the dogs during that time. We usually watch tv 8-9 and then crash!!!
ETA one of us is usually gone once per week with evening work obligations. On those nights it’s nuggets or something super easy.

@winter_wonder: I feel super lucky to have the schedules we do because our hours are reasonable compared to most. We are not job motivated people, we do it for the paycheque so our 40 hour week stops at the end of the work day. That being said, even when I’ve taken extended parental leave, there’s always a ton to be done during the days just to run a house, cook meals, etc. That doesn’t allow me to put 100% focus on my kids. I do feel conscious of how long they are away from us during the day and try to minimize that as best I can, but both of us are not cut out to stay at home. I would feel worse I think if DW and I didn’t get generous mat leaves (12 months+) and I feel both my kids thrive at their school and daycare now they are older.

We both WOH FT, DH brings both kids home at 6pm, 5:30 is considered an early day. I typically get home 15 - 20 minutes ahead of him and try to get the dog taken care of and prep plates for the kids dinner before they arrive. From there, it's a rush of getting the kids fed, in the shower/bath, and in bed. 11 month old goes to bed by 6:30 and we aim for in bed by 7 for the 5 year old with 7:30 happening most nights. Weeknights are rushed, chaotic, and exhausting and we just try to enjoy the precious moments we do get with them during the chaos.

@winter_wonder: Yep, me. I feel really saddened that I don't have more time. I want to work and think I'm a better mom for it, but I wish my schedule and commute were more forgiving. DH and I think often on what changes to make in our lives to still enjoy our careers while finding a balance we feel happier with.