A good friend just found out her husband was having an emotional affair. Which would be more difficult for you to hear physical or emotional? FYI- please don't comment if you will only say your husband would not have an affair or preach to me.. Not in the mood..
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Emotional would be way harder for me to deal with... but I can't really say unless in those shoes, so to say. Both are breaking a bond.
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Emotional
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I think both would hit me equally hard.
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@pinkcupcake: Agreed.
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I think physical would be harder for me. It's easy for people to get caught up in emotions and feel swept away by someone but to actually act on that would be the ultimate betrayal.
So sorry for your friend and the situation. I can't imagine what I would even begin to do in her shoes.
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Goodness, they both would be terribly hard to deal with but I think an emotional affair would hit me (personally) harder. I mean, the physical can be a "caught in the moment" type thing but if my husband was emotionally invested in another woman (ie. thinks about her a lot, misses her, feels with her what he doesn't feel with me, etc).. The feeling of being replaced by the man I consider my best friend.. that would break me.
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I think an emotional affair would be hardest to swallow. They both would be awful, though.
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Emotional. Based on experience.
I'm sorry for your friend, I know how devastating that can be.
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That's a tough question but probably emotional. The thought that my husband could love someone else romantically would be devastating to say the least. Hugs to anyone who is going through, or has gone through, any form of infidelity.
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Cheating is cheating. I would feel equally broken over both types.
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Ugh both would gross me out!!! I can't even think about it.
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Both would be super hard, obvious, but I think emotional would be harder. Getting caught up in the moment physically is one thing, but emotional affairs can just be so deep. I would be more hurt by my husband being in love(or in lust) with someone else.
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I'm so sorry for your friend!
I had a boyfriend emotionally cheat on me years ago. It was pretty bad. I think that would be worse than a physical affair.
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Both are tough and hard blows but ultimately, it would be harder for me to forgive a physical affair.
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I am so sorry for your friend. I think both would be so hard but emotional might be even harder to come back from because it's not about being swept up in the moment: I could maybe forgive one mistake after a lot of counseling, but a whole affair would be much more difficult.
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My ex-husband cheated on me. He basically thought that dating new girl "friends" wasn't cheating, even if it meant dinner, a movie and a stroll by the beach. Coupled with the lies and attempting to hide all the cellphone bills, yeh, it sucked majorly.
I think emotional and physical cheating are equally as bad. But one brings on a slower, tortured type of pain, while the other is a sudden burst of it. Both lead to misery. Cheaters suck. Period.
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From experience, emotional.
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I think both would be devastating.
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Oh gosh, I think emotional would be harder because that means there was a stronger connection, however physical would just piss me off, I would be mad over hurt. I would be mad that a grown man couldn't keep it in his pants even if the temptation was there.
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I agree that I think both would be equally devastating.
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Emotional, hands down. My husband reconnected with an ex (before we got married) and it nearly destroyed us. I would have preferred that he just hooked up with her once or twice than read the words "I can't help it if I"m still in love with you" in a text message to her.... It took A LOT of work to overcome that, but it's possible. Big hugs to her.
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I'm so sorry for your friend. I think emotional would be harder for me to forgive (not that I'd be able to forgive either), but hearing that he's in love with someone else would break me.
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Honestly both would be devastating. I am so sorry for your friend. I think emotional def hurt more tho.
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Generally women find emotional to be even more painful than physical, and men are the opposite (not always, obviously there are exceptions, but research says that is how it usually goes.). Both would be completely horrible, but I fit the generalization...emotional would be worse for me.
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For me both would be devastating
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Both would be devastating but I think it emotional would be harder for me to overcome.
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I don't know... both would suck. I think I'd be a little more understanding about how an emotional affair could occur (because I think there is no hard line and it seems like the sort of thing you could slide halfway into without realizing) and that might make it easier to forgive. Sex is like... what did you fall and land naked on her? WTF were you thinking. But on the other hand the emotions/length of an emotional affair v. a one time physical situation would maybe make it harder to get over. So yea. I dunno. Both would suck.
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Emotional, but they would both suck.
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Emotional. I think it's natural to be attracted to or desire a connection with members of the opposite sex even after you're married, and it's a choice to maintain boundaries. I would be so hurt and disappointed if DH pursued a deep connection with another woman.
(I would be pretty pissed about anything physical too.)
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I don't think I could overcome either one. To me, they are equally awful.
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That's like asking which arm you would miss more if it got cut off! Both would be awful.
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Physical. That's taking it that extra step. You have plenty of time to stop yourself, and put your clothes back on!
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Both would be hard for me, but I think physical because it would be acting on those emotions, taking it to the next level.
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Emotional!
Physical could happen within a few minutes of meeting someone - so there's no attachment just an act.
However an emotional affair would take much longer and you would be vested in the person. That would be hard to overcome
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Both, equally for me. Cheating is cheating.
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Both would suck but I agree emotional would be harder to deal with.
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@Mrs. Tiger: Right but when it comes down to it, you'd miss the right arm more if you're right handed, right?
They are both totally awful, I'm just being difficult.
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Physical. Because I think it would be like the emotional affair, but concrete. The hard part would be the emotional betrayal and that it was taken so far.
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I would argue that both kinds are emotional. Sure, physical could be just about sex, but you know there are all kinds of emotions going on too. Both are awful. I'm not the forgiving type, and I find it hard to fathom forgiving my partner for either.
I'm so sorry for your friend It's the ultimate betrayal and heartbreak.
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65 comments