Sort of a spin off from a "mental load" thread.
In our family, I pick out the gifts for DH's side and wrap them. I guess it's not such a big deal because it's just his mom, brother, and my SIL. It's technically from the both of us, but I also do my side of the family. I would probably be left speechless if my husband said, "Why don't you get this for your nephew?"
So, who does it? You or your SO?
nectarine / 2047 posts
I do it all but it’s just his parents and one set of nieces/nephews. We don’t do gifts for adults and we rotate the kids. So year 1, we buy for his younger sisters kids and year 2, we buy for older sisters kids. And they rotate between us as well
eggplant / 11716 posts
We don't go gifts for his family unless we are going there (we do every-other-year) and it's only gifts for his parents and his 3 nieces and nephews. We discuss the gifts, but he usually has a tech-gadget idea for his parents, and for the kids we kind of figure it out together.
For my mother this year (only person we buy for on my side), he suggested and ordered a particular gift (an Echo, because she doesn't have one). But in the past, I've decided on her gift by myself, because it's my mom.
He has to remember his family's important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, too. I don't!
persimmon / 1420 posts
I do it but only because I choose to. It stresses me out to not have it done early, so I take that mental load piece but out of choice, not necessity.
pear / 1728 posts
Me. Every year I tell DH that he's responsible for his family's gifts and then he doesn't do it and I have to rush to get it done.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
I used to get a gift for MIL and put thought into it, then she said she didn't want anything so I stopped (and she was actually a bit rude about it,
But this year she will be at our house for Christmas, and I would feel bad if she had nothing to open, so I ordered her something. I spent 5 minutes on Amazon. Given she probably won't like it anyways I wasn't going to put in too much effort. I still need to wrap it...
I honestly don't mind, in that this is the least of things I do that I wish someone else would take care of
nectarine / 2018 posts
I do. He will occasionally have an idea for someone but I do almost all of it, and I do all of the actual ordering and wrapping.
nectarine / 2400 posts
I let my 5yo pick because I have no interest in picking out thoughtful gifts
pear / 1565 posts
Me! But we only do the kids, not adults. But even if we do, it would be me. I do go to him for ideas if I'm stumped, and if it's for adults I do ask him what he thinks before buying. With kids I just go ahead and do whatever I want.
coconut / 8483 posts
This year, I suggested something I thought they’d like and he did the research and found one.
I told him to talk to his sister and tell her we aren’t doing gifts with her (we don’t usually but she’s weird and could randomly gift us something) but I’m sure he won’t!
I do all the gifts for my family but ask his thoughts. He ordered what we got my dad. I do everything for our kids.
pomelo / 5573 posts
Ugh. Every year I tell my husband he is responsible for this. The only person in his family we buy a gift for is his grandmother. His only job is to buy her gift and make plans for when we’ll go see her. He has yet to do either this year. Last year I ultimately organized the gift because it was that or nothing.
persimmon / 1130 posts
We both do some of it. I used to do all of it, but it was too stressful, so I’ve started to back off although I still get some small gifts here and there.
clementine / 911 posts
If I have an idea for something, I go ahead and get it. If I don't have an idea, then we collaborate or he'll get something.
I buy all of my family's presents, but we only get gifts for my niece and nephew now. And I buy most of my daughter's presents, because I just enjoy it, but we do talk about them usually.
persimmon / 1381 posts
I do most of it, but we do a grab bag now for his extended family and he’s responsible for that. His immediate family also usually provides lists, so I pick something off there. If the list is crap or the person is difficult to buy for (his dad) then he takes care of it. It stresses me out less than it used to. Mostly because I cut our budget so I’m buying less stuff and he takes care of the difficult people.
And we both wrap all of the gifts for everyone. It’s actually probably one of my favorite parts of the holiday because we wait until the kids are in bed and throw on a Christmas movie and wrap and talk instead of staring at our phones or laptops.
pomelo / 5257 posts
My ILs like everyone to make lists. So each of us (me, husband, MIL, FIL, SIL) makes a list of things we would like. And we just buy from each others' lists. It makes things pretty easy, and my husband buys the gifts for his family members. We don't really need to do any wrapping, because he buys things and has them sent straight to everyone.
cherry / 150 posts
I do, if I have an idea. But I am 100% percent and idea person. I love figuring things out. If I don't have an idea I'll tell dh it's his job. Or tell him my ideas and ask him to pick.
grapefruit / 4361 posts
I pick out gifts for my nieces, because I love buying kid gifts and I often buy things ahead on sale. With his parents, we talk over our ideas and I buy them.
I also handle doing the cards for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
He compiles all of our videos onto a DVD each year, and that becomes a present for each set of grandparents.
apricot / 286 posts
I do, at least 95% of the time. It’s only annoying when I can’t think of what to get them, lol.
nectarine / 2460 posts
I always pick out and purchase the presents for his parents but I usually run my ideas by him first. In the past we've done secret santa among his siblings (and mine) and I always had to do his secret santa purchase even though it was specifically from him! I suppose he probably would have done those eventually by himself but I like being all done with shopping and wrapping early so my timeline is very different from his.
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
I think if I didn't get the gifts and organize that part of Christmas, he would ignore it completely. I really love my mother in law, so I am totally fine with making sure that she gets something good. But I hate picking stuff out for the rest of his family because I don't really like them so it is a chore. I wish he would take that on and just get it done.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
Generally, this is one of very few things I leave to dh. Primarily because when I tried to help he was never into my ideas! So in recent years I pick up a few things if I see them throughout the year, I help make things from the kids like a photo card, calendar or craft, but dh does any big gifts. He’s an only child and now only has one parent left so going forward there’s not much to do ... his dad doesn’t really like gifts, but his mom really did when she was alive so he liked shopping for her and making her happy.
persimmon / 1121 posts
I refuse to buy gifts for his family, which means they don’t get any. Oh well. The only exception is our nephews because we’re close with them, and I don’t do it, but I do have to remind DH to do it a million times.
pear / 1718 posts
I initiate the discussion, which includes propisals for the nieces and nephews. I order all online gifts, DH picks up all physical purchases. I work more and it's harder for me to find time to make stops and I'm the household online orderer. So it works well for us. DH also purchases gifts for my dad, unless we've decided on clothing. We split wrapping. I just use brown kraft paper and DD writes names on it/decorates it. I don't care if DH does a crappy wrap job, it's wrapped and my kid threw some love on it. Done.
persimmon / 1419 posts
I do all the gift buying. Including gifts for 8 nieces and nephews on his side and two gifts for everyone on my side, one from me and one from him. This year though, for the first time in 7 years of marriage, he picked out and purchased a gift for someone on my side—a mini rifle that you fill with table salt to kill bugs, which is something that seems right up my dad’s alley, which proves that he can do it but chooses not to. I asked him today to sort the gifts I had purchased so that I could wrap them and he had no idea what if the other stuff was for whom though. 🤦♀️
kiwi / 549 posts
It’s only for 3 kids, no gifts for adults in our families. But we discuss what we think they would like and usually I buy online because I work less and am quicker at online shopping, but he’s the one to ask his sister if the kids have or want something. He wraps and writes cards. I really think this comes down to he cares just as much if not more than I do if they presents get bought.
pomelo / 5258 posts
I usually do but DH did this year and I think he knocked it out of the park. I definitely couldn't have done better myself. He probably did so well because he visited them in November and they gave him hints. Of course in writing this I realized we didn't get his sister anything. We were super duper generous this year for her 30th birthday so I would normally skip but she's flying to be here... so I guess I'm not done shopping yet.
grape / 92 posts
DH does all the shopping for his family, I do all the shopping for my family. This year he did basically all the shopping for DS as well, as he goes black Friday shopping with his mother and sisters every year.
persimmon / 1479 posts
DH does. I sometimes provide suggestions for his mom, but he is good about getting it done.
clementine / 920 posts
Me! Some years if his parents have tech on their wish list DH will pick it up for them. Otherwise it is up to me to brainstorm and purchase gifts for MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL and 2 nephews. All of whom are hard to buy for as they purchase things they want all through the year.
This year I also took DS to the Dollar Store to pick out gifts and he painted some ornaments.
clementine / 854 posts
It's a joint effort. We will shoot ideas back and forth until we come up with something but I give him the final say.
We split wrapping too. He might do his family and I might do mine.
pomelo / 5621 posts
DH’s family doesn’t exchange gifts, so that’s easy. If they did it would be up to him. I send out Christmas cards and DS helps and I do them for his family.
A few years ago his mom came and spent Christmas with us and I did a stocking for her but her visit was a surprise for DH.
On my side we just do gifts for nieces and my mom, and I do all the shopping for this and get it sent off.
pomelo / 5084 posts
@crazydoglady: DW buys for her side and I buy for mine. I don’t think about, keep track of, wrap, or ship anything for her parents, brother, SIL, two nephews or niece!
bananas / 9227 posts
I do, but I need to slowly wean myself off of this task since I refuse to spend another Xmas with them 
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