We are planning to rent a 3 bedroom beach house with my parents and my sister and her husband. We have two small children (3 years old and a baby) who will be staying in the room with us. My 3 year old sleeps on a small air mattress and my baby sleeps in his travel crib. My sister has no children yet. The discussion came up about who should get the master bedroom, which is the largest bedroom in the house. My mother thinks it makes sense for us to have it, since we have the children with us, but my father thinks it would seem strange if they weren't in the master. He mentioned when he used to travel with his parents, he always gave them the master even if it inconvenienced him. If it makes a difference, we are all splitting the cost of the rental. Who do you think should have the master? What do you do when you travel with family?
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I would say it defaults to the parents unless there is a good reason to do otherwise. I would say your reason makes perfect sense. If there was a bedroom for the kids, I'd give your parents the master, but since it doesn't, it only makes sense for you guys to have it. In the end, I bet he ends up with more sq ft per person than you guys anyway!
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Whomever needs the most space. Considering you and the kiddos are all sharing one room, y'all should have the master. If there wasn't kiddos or they got their own room, then your parents should get the master.
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whoever needs the most space for sure!!!
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Definitely whoever needs the most space!
If it was just couples and no kids, then for sure, your parents should get the master. But since you have two little kids with you, you definitely should get it!
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I think you should get the master bedroom, since you need the space. To avoid conflict, I would give it to your parents. Since he brought it up, I think it will continue to bother him if he does not get the master.
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if you all paid the same amount, then i think the family who needs the most space gets the bigger room. that being said, if someone in my family felt strongly about it, i'm not sure what i would do...
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How much bigger is the master, and does it have a master bath?
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@looch: It's hard to tell from the description. We've never stayed at this house before, but I would say maybe 1/3 larger. Maybe more? It has a master bath.
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@MrsBucky: Agree with this! I can see it defaulting to the adult parents unless there is good reason. Considering that you are paying for your fair share of the rental and you have the most occupants, I think this is good reason for you to get it.
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@aprild: Also, what are the beds in the rooms? I assume the master has a king, but would it mean that your parents would be like in bunk beds or something in the other room?
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@T.H.O.U.: They have queen beds in the other rooms. The other rooms are nice, they are just on the smaller side.
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i would offer to my parents because they are weird about things like this.
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I would just say sure dad, y'all can have the master and the 3 yo. No one in my family would ever be that particular about sleeping arrangements and gladly give us the bigger room.
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@aprild: Then I think you should get it, especially since there is a master bath! Just makes things easier, I think.
BUT if it avoids conflict, I would just take the smaller room. -
@whiskers: Hahaha, yes! Sure, dad, it makes perfect sense for you and mom to take the master. So the kids will stay in the room with you guys, right??
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We are a practical family so we for sure would get the biggest room.
FWIW, when we went on a family trip to SF right after our wedding, our parents and my aunt left us have the master in our rental too!
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I would probably default to your parents getting it to avoid drama. While I think it also makes total sense for the people who need more space to get the biggest room, the parties without children who are paying the same amount don't also automatically deserve to get shafted from the larges/nicest room just because.
Does your sister have an opinion? If it's just your dad, maybe your mom can talk to him and straighten him out lol
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Who ever needed the most space for sure!!!
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This is why I would never go on vacation with my parents!!!!
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Do you have any idea how big the other rooms are? Maybe you can say something like "I'd be happy to let you guys have the Master, but can we wait until we get there just to make sure the other room has enough space for our toddler bed and pack 'n play? I'm just worried that the master is the only one big enough to accommodate all four of us, but if another room works, we'd be happy to take it!"
Maybe your dad just doesn't really realize how much space a toddler air mattress and a pack 'n play take! And if you get there and find out the non-master has plenty of space, then just let your parents have the master since they feel so strongly about it.
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Whoever needs the most space. We've traveled with family a few times (both sides) and we were always given the larger room since we had 1 or 2 kids sleeping with us.
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When I've traveled with family, the master is usually offered to whoever goes through the trouble of searching listings and making the reservation. But when we stay at beach houses, it's usually like 12-15 adults (no kids), so it's a pain to handle collecting money from everyone based on what nights they're there.
I'd default to the parents UNLESS there's no other way to fit your family in a room.
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Since you're all splitting the cost equally, I say whoever needs the most space. Otherwise, whoever was covering the cost should get it. We always give DHs parents the master on vacation because they pay for it. They insist we take it since we could use the extra space but I just don't fee right about it personally. At least not with 1 kid. This year with 2 kids we got a place with 2 masters so we wouldn't have to feel bad!
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I'll go with - whatever keeps the family harmony. Can your kids and you fit in another room if you dad NEEDS the master? Then I'd take it. If you don't fit, I'd ask for the master for that reason.
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That's a weak argument from your dad if y'all are splitting the cost. If they were paying, I'd feel bad taking the master, but with all splitting space needed should dictate. Although I do agree with @mediagirl: about harmony being a good deciding factor too
ETA: we've travelled with my ILs and BIL/SIL several times and we are only with kids. After some trial and error we have all learned that the best solution to these decisions is what will help our toddler sleep the best and/or cause least disturbance to others sleep.
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@aprild: in this case I'd give it to your dad since it seems like a big deal to him. Or, offer to pay more of the tab?
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Unless the other rooms are literally too small for the blow up mattress and pack and play, I'd give it to your parents.
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Whoever put the most TIME/ EFFORT into planning the trip should get the master. Otherwise, I would say it defaults to the elders, your parents in this case.
Does each bedroom have a private bathroom?
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Whoever needs the most space, unless your parents want to contribute more so they can have it. We rent a house with my family every year, everyone pays equally and whoever needs the biggest rooms, gets it. This year, the house has 2 masters, so my brother and I will each take one, because we both have small kids. I don't have a typical parent/child relationship with my parents (honestly at this point I feel like their parent at times) so I find it bizarre that with a house full of adults paying equally for a rental, someone feels entitled to a master when they don't need it.
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I think it should be whoever needs the space the most which is your family in this case. Also, we sometimes do it by whoever does the work of researching, organizing, and booking the place gets the master.
Question about splitting the cost 3 ways. Did your sister complain about paying as much as you (a family of 4) or your parents (a group of 2) since she's just a group of 1? I feel like my sister would make a huge fuss about splitting a rental equally since she's single.
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First to whomever is paying for the rental or paying the most. Then if no one cares then to the biggest family.
My ILs paid for a beach house years ago. They took the master even tho BIL has 2 small kids. But BIL, his (ex)wife and 2 girls got the second biggest room. DH & I got the smallest, which we were fine with!
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I guess I'm not sure why your dad thinks he has claim to the master if he's paying the same amount as everyone else. I wouldn't inconvenience myself for the sake of harmony when someone else is flat out being unreasonable. We go to the beach with my parents every year. Traditionally we got a 3 bedroom house. One for my parents and then one for my family and one for my brothers family. My parents paid the full tab so they got the master even though my brother and I each had a baby. This year we had to bump up to a 4 bedroom because my brother and I each had a second kid. So one bedroom for our older girls to share, and our baby boys will still be in the room wth their parents. My mom and dad are still getting the master because they paid 50% of the tab and my bro and I each paid 25% (we didn't think it was fair for my parents to have to completely pay for a bigger house just because we decided to have more kids).
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I'd say whoever needs the space.
My family and I rented a house in AZ for Christmas a few years back when my son was around 10 months and we took the Master.
Due to it being a rental the curtains weren't the best and so I stuck the pack n play in the empty master closet. We kept the door cracked and had a fan running right outside the door for white noise / ventilation.
Great space saver and made it nice and dark!
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My parents always get it when we travel, but they foot the bill. I voted for whomever needs the most space- if you are paying equally you should get it.
I will add, my parents often have a grandchild sleeping on the floor on an air mattress, even when they are in the master. And my dad is always the first one up, so he always grabs a baby or two to let the parents sleep. -
@Jadj13: we've put a pack and play in many a closets! (Door open of course)
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I think whoever needs the most space should get it.
DH and I are renting a beach house with his sister and BIL and his parents this summer. We are splitting the cost evenly with his sister and BIL (his parents won't be there the whole week). We have already told his sister and BIL that they can have the master with the king-sized bed. They have a 3 year-old who may end up sleeping in their room some. Also, BIL is like 6'5" and they are used to sleeping in a king-sized bed. DH and I don't mind taking the queen bed in the other room since that is what we are used to. Everyone gets their own bathroom so that isn't an issue.
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Can you compromise?
Clearly you guys need more space, but maybe you guys should increase your share of the rent slightly to get it.
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In our family, it's whoever needs the most space. My parents get the master if there are extra bedrooms for the kiddos
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In this situation, I'd give you guys the master. if kids weren't an issue, then, yes, I'd give it to your parents for, you know, raising you and all. But this isn't favoritism or anything, it's just practical.
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