Hellobee Boards

Ugh, I think some parents who have been through it see it as some sort of rite of passage/hazing ritual. Like "I've been there, done that, learn from my experience". No pregnant person has ever enjoyed hearing the always-stupid advice "Sleep now!", but so many new moms say that to pregnant people. I think maybe feel like the fact that they lived through it is a badge of honor and they're just showing you their battle wounds. I don't know.

I'm going to be a 2nd time mom and it doesn't stop. People just like to be downers. I think having 2 is gonna be great and I just ignore them!

I think people like to be right...we all pretty much think we're right all the time, but some like to make that evident, and making you seem wrong is an easy way to do that. I like how when I mention that we're CDing, someone always says "eww, what are you gonna do when she poops?! you're gonna let that touch your washing machine?!" ...as though it didn't occur to me that poop and a washing machine would be involved. People have been CDing for thousands of years, no? Just like new moms have been successfully raising babies for thousands of years... I think we'll be okay.

Sometimes those of us that have been a mom are actually trying to help by making you see that sometimes what you're freaking out about or what you are 'swearing' won't ever happen with your baby isn't always the case.
Speaking from experience isn't always a mom's way of being negative.

@jedeve: I can understand the frustration but just try to take it with a grain of salt approach.

@Revel: Agreed.

It's so obnoxious and all it is is them basically giving themselves an inadvertent pat on the back for surviving.

Next time someone tells me to "sleep now" (which, honestly, I'm sleeping great, so it's mostly "enjoy it while you can"....yes, thanks captain obvious), I'm going to tell them that I'll be sure to add to my sleep bank to withdraw later. Because, seriously, when does sleeping now ever help you MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD?! logic fail

It's always the strangers for me. like they take glee in knowing that your luck is going to run out soon

@tororojo: I told DH I feel sorry for parents 100+ years ago because not only did they not have a choice in whether they cloth diaper or not, they also had to wash everything by hand. Talk about ewwwww!!!

It drives me nuts too! People still do that since I have one baby, "oh he's good now just wait til he's older!"
"You know you'll never get another baby as good as he is."
"You say you won't let him drink pop, yeah you just wait."

I feel like other moms should be more encouraging to new moms why not say, "yeah it's hard at first but you get through it and you won't believe how much you love your kid.."

I think that in some cases most "experienced" moms feel judged by "new" moms. For instance when I say I will cloth diaper or I wont give my baby store bought baby food, I Know some moms feel judged by that since they made those decisions so they feel they have the lash back at me by telling me how hard it will be and how I wont be able to keep up

SOmetimes they are right though, because I always said I wouldnt use a pacifier and then I ended up using it

One of my colleagues has been all about this lately and it's driving me INSANE! I made some comment today about the fact that I've always been a good sleeper and she did the old, "Well you better get your sleep now!" routine. I got so fed up that I finally looked at her and said, "Well, unfortunately you can't 'save up' on sleep!" (much like @blakcbird said above). I then went on to tell her that I'm not naive. I know my life is going to change beyond what I can conceive of and that that was the whole idea when we decided to have a baby. She pretty much stopped after that....for today.

I know that with this colleague it's a way for her to toot her own horn about having raised her son as a single mother, but it's SO freaking irritating!

@Mrsbells: When i told friends (who already had babies) that i was planning on cloth diapering, i got a lot of, "oh don't even bother in the beginning. you'll be so tired the last thing you'll want to do is laundry!" Seriously, every week someone would ask me how cloth diapering was going...i'm sure they were genuinely curious but a part of me wondered if there was a sarcastic tone.

I know people hate the "sleep now" comments, but i genuinely believe people just want you to take advantage of how NICE it is to sleep in. All i wanted was for pregnancy to be over with it so i can meet my baby, and now i just want that extra week of sleep, no matter how crappy and uncomfortable i felt.

@caffeinated: I guess the thing that irritates me the most about the "sleep now" comments is that (a) no matter how much sleep I get now, it won't save me from being tired when baby comes and, (b) they often say it like it's some sage advice when I think it's pretty commonly held knowledge that new mothers don't get much sleep. It just comes across as though they thing FTMs are completely and totally clueless.

@banana: Good to know! I mean I'm expecting it to be difficult and probably overwhelming, at least at first, but I think that comes with the territory.

I think it makes people feel better about how crazy their lives are to think that others will suffer too. I hate this, I especially hate this when people start telling horror stories about childbirth. DOOD- No one needs to know that much about your business, keep it to yourself. lol!!

I will admit, I thought I was ready, and I had no idea, but that doesn't mean I could have done anything else to be more prepared for raising a child. It's just the nature of the beast, you don't know until you're there.

@banana: haha...yes forgiven

@hergreenapples: I totally understand, i also hated it when people said that to me while i was pregnant! I was like, "Right, because you can totally bank sleep, huh?" But honestly, it was only after having a colicky baby did i understand what true sleep deprivation was. While i never say those annoying, "sleep now" comments, i do say, "enjoy sleeping in on the weekends" in an envious way.

The beginning is just so crazy and scary, and i don't think you can fully fathom what it's like when you're pregnant. I had majorly low expectations when it came to breastfeeding because everyone told me how hard it was, and i'm glad people told me about their difficulties.

@jedeve: Those people are just Debbie Downers who need to be ignored!