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@Cherrybee: Lol I feel the SAME way!
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Mom guilt. I already feel guilty enough about the time they spend with their nanny during the work week that I can't imagine having them spend more time with her so we can go out. not super healthy, I know.
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Combo of not wanting to pay money for a sitter and we just like spending time at home together. We usually go out if our parents visit, which is just once a year each, but that is fine for us. Lol.
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Um, all of the above...we don't live near family (and move a lot, so once I find someone who I'd be okay with baby sitting either we move or they do). Then there's the added cost of a baby sitter, the fact that I'd be stressed about LO the whole time, we'd have to plan ahead, and I just like snuggling on the couch in my jammies...
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Mainly because we don't plan ahead enough. For the most part, things we can do on the spur of the moment are things I don't particularly enjoy, like seeing movies in the theater. If we're going to pay for a sitter. I at least want to have fun on the date. I wouldn't mind going to see plays or concerts more often, but then the costs really add up. I guess we need to put more effort into finding fun date ideas, but I'm tired. Plus, DD doesn't like being put to bed by other people, so our choices are either to risk a meltdown and hope it will be okay or wait until she's in bed to leave, by which time I'm usually cranky and tired myself.
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I chose other. We get out a decent amount but it's usually for something specific like someone's birthday, a party, group get-together etc, so it's almost always with other friends. Combine that with asking our parents to fill in for little babysitting things here and there I feel bad asking for more time. And then I don't want to pay a babysitter (even though we have one I trust). We are definitely due for a one on one date night, though. And I'm hoping that now that the holidays are over our social calendar will mellow out a bit.
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It's a tie between not having a reliable babysitter and wanting the date to be worth the cost of hiring the sitter/going out.
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Lately, I work a lot of weekend nights.
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Money. Babysitters around here charge like $13/hr. We get dinner. We're now out like $150 for the evening.
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@lilyann: this. Mine works so late during the week (and has work social obligations also) the last thing he wants to do is go outing the weekends. I don't mind; when he's home it's nice to stay in and cook. (Assuming baby is asleep)
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We don't have any babysitters in the area, unless my parents are in town (but when they are, it's usually for something specific, like a family birthday or other function so there's really no opportunity to go out). Our daughter (3) also gets up early, so I don't like to be out late, and she doesn't do well with someone else putting her to bed (other than ourselves or grandma), so the window for getting out and doing something in the evenings is small, and I don't like missing out on playtime with her on weekends.
Thankfully, when we visit my parents, we can get out for dinner or lunch or a movie, and also, DH works 5 minutes from home and I work from home quite often, so we do lunch dates or grocery dates together during the week!
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Right now we have a 6 week old who is EBF and I am pumping occasionally to stock up for when I go back to work so that just gets complicated. Our toddler is fine going with family who are luckily always chomping at the bit to get her. Also, DH likes to stay home most of the time. It's like pulling teeth to go out to dinner and actually eat out vs bring it home. We would love to go out more but life just gets in the way.
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We have family that can sit for us, but my husband feels guilty if we use them too much on the weekends. My son is also at the age where he really wants to spend time with us (if I ask him what he wants to do, he says stay with us), so I really think the right poll category for us would be guilt, lol.
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i voted that babysitter cost too much, hard to find someone i trust, and we are tired. currently we have one babysitter (a former nanny) and she is not always available. I have not yet ventured into finding someone who only does occasional babysitting. i like using our former nannies because we already got to know and trust them. they are expensive though!
and we are usually too tired, so it would be a lot to go out every week or every other week. once every couple of months or so is nice. and we tend to do a date night when my mom visits.
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Pre-baby most of our weekend dates consisted of going out to dinner (nowhere fancy- a bar or chain restaurant) or maybe the movies. Occasionally we'd go to a concert or party.
Post baby if we want to go out to a restaurant most of our favorites easily accommodate bringing LO with us, or we feed her and put her to bed a little early and order in take out and watch a movie. If something comes up, like a movie we really want to see in the theater, my mom and dad love to babysit but it means doing those things near their house (about an hour away). My inlaws rarely offer to babysit (they live 5 min away) and we always have to ask well in advance.
I try to plan a couple over nights a year but man do those get expensive. I got tickets to a concert in philly for hubs christmas gift and we decided to get a hotel room that night. If i added it up it will probably cost us about $300 that night between dinner, hotel, and tickets. But luckily my mom will have LO for the night
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A combo, the first driving factor being that we're homebodies and pretty content at home.
But for awhile, my daughter would wake and the only thing that would settle her would be to nurse. Then there's the cost--we're trying to be frugal since we just bought a house.
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Money. It rarely seems worth the cost of a sitter plus dinner/activity, etc. We stress about the cost more than we relax together. But we do love to do family dates, where we all go out to eat, when the budget is there!
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We have no family anywhere close to us, and I am waaaay too paranoid about leaving them with someone who isn't family. My daughter is pretty difficult and I just don't trust someone who doesn't know and love her to not lose their temper with her. I figure they're only this little for such a short time that we will be able to date one day soon.
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I chose that I'm tired and Other - my parents live 10 min away but they already watch DS 2x week so I usually feel bad about asking them. Plus, when they do babysit they usually just keep the kids at their house and DS still wakes up 1-2x nightly so I feel bad about that.
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We don't go out for basically every reason you listed!
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