Just curious; if you're a parent of multiples. Will you be asking school that they keep your multiples in the same class or separate?
Why?
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I was a twin and being in the same class was never an option!
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I'm curious to hear what other moms of multiples say! My twins are only 9 months, so we have a while to decide. I don't think there's a right answer for all sets of twins and will likely decide based on how my kids interact when they are older. I'd like them to be able to thrive without each other, make their own friends, get involved in their own activities. But I don't want to separate them unnecessarily either if they are doing fine being independent and concentrating on school work while at school.
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Not a multiple mama, but every school I have worked in has always put siblings into different classrooms.
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I had twins in one of my classes (there was no option--only one 2nd grade). One was special needs, though, so they didn't really compete with one another. My little guy with special needs had a pretty severe speech impediment, and for the first month, I really needed his brother's translations! It was pretty cool having them both, but I can see the desire to separate, too!
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@matador84: because that was their standard practice or because parents requested it?
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@mrs. bird: standard practice, for several reasons. Let's say typical sibling stuff happens-play fight, bicker, whatever--we have to take standard discipline approach regardless if they are siblings and this can create problems. They usually just do better academically and socially if they are split up.
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I went to school with boy/girl twins. We were all in the same classroom during elementary school!
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I live in NJ and state law allows parents to choose. My 4 yr old twins are together in prek. So far I think I may keep them together next year and then go from there.
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I know my twin brothers were never in the same class, it wasn't an option. The decision is probably not even one some parents will have to make based on school policy.
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I wonder if it makes a difference if the twins are identical. I went to school with several sets of twins but they were all fraternal and were in the same class
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I don't know that I'll have an option, but for me it would depend on my kids at that point. I kind of hate that it's not up to the parents everywhere. I understand some of the reasons for insisting that they are separated, but I feel that school should let parents know the potential repercussions of being in the same class and then let them decide what they believe is ultimately best. The only reasons I would particularly want mine separated is if they were on very different academic levels or if one relied too much on the other socially and needed a separate classroom to have room to learn social interactions without his brother.
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It depends on the kiddos. In all honesty, I can't see a school overriding a parents wishes if they felt strongly enough about it. We had a set of twins last year, and we split them up. Now, in 6th, they are back together and are actually doing better.
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I don't have twins myself but growing up I was in school with a set of twins and they were always in the same class. My younger sister had twins her year too and they were also in the same class.
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I don't have twins, but I teach in a preschool and we have 3 sets of twins in one class. It got to be way too much, and we tried a week of separating all the twin sets into 2 different classes. We were shocked at how differently the children behaved when they didn't have their "security blanket" (ie other twin) with them. They opened up, actively participated in the activies and there was much less "feeding off" each other's negative behaviors. Ultimately we discussed this with the parents and everyone agreed that this was working better for everyone. Just my 2 cents as a teacher
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There were twins in the same class at the school I was in. The teacher always gave them identical marks.
I think putting them in separate classes allows them to grow individually. They can still play together at recesses.
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I've seen both. Some want them in the same class so it's the same homework. Some want them separated so they could grow separately. Some grades it doesn't matter at our school because our kids are separated by gender, so if they are the same sex then they are in the same class.
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I teach in a district that encourages separation, but ultimately leaves it to the parents.
With our twins, I think we'll probably want them in the same class during kindergarten, since that tends to be an emotional and tiring year for everyone. I suspect they'll settle into school better if they have each other.
Beyond that, I just don't know. They are boy/girl twins, so I think that MAY make it easier for them to function in the same class, (it's likely they will have different friends and possibly different interests). That said, I know I'll worry about competition and comparisons. I've heard from other twin moms who found it MUCH easier to have their kids in the same class -- they have the same homework, the same class parties, etc. It's all going to depend on them and who they become in the next few years!
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@ktdid23: wow! Three sets in one class?! What are the odds!
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My husband is a twin. They were definitely in the same room in elementary school, because they went to a tiny Montessori school so there basically was only one room. They weren't in any of the same classes in high school, though...Now I'm wondering if that was by design? I never thought about it before!
@mrbee: Hmm, maybe our high school had the same policy. Because I'm pretty sure they didn't have a single class in common.
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@regberadaisy: Right? The even funnier thing is that all 3 sets are born in the same month!!!
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My cousin has triplets and two are in one class and the other is in a class by herself. She asked to be in a different class.
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My husband is a twin, and I don't know what they did early on, but they were definitely split up by 3rd grade. He had a really bad teacher that taught them basically nothing, and his entire class got held back a year. It sucked because then he was behind her for the rest of their school career, even though he's honestly significantly smarter. By high school he was in more advanced classes than her, even with the extra year.
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We had 2 sets of identical twins in my class and I'm pretty sure they wee always in the same class in elementary school and then in jr. high and high school they weren't or it wasn't a "for sure" thing they might have had some together but not always.
We only had 2 classes to pick from in elementary school, it was a small school. Honestly I think the girl set (who I was good friends with) could have benefited from separation, they were extremely competitive with each other and that lasted well into high school/college. They are very close, but I wonder if they would have had a little bit of separate lives if it would have started younger? to this day they are extremely close, maybe too close? Same colleges, same career, houses close to each other, husbands who work at the same place, ect.
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As a twin, we were separate until middle school and I think it was great. Even with that in early elementary school we spent our entire recesses together and there were concerns about socialization (we also moved a lot in lower grades so that may be part of it).
My sister has twins and she separated them for prek and k. But this year on first grade they are in the same class. The reason is that the other one has leukemia and this way she only has to keep up with one teacher. When the cancer is over they will go back to separate classes.
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I think there are pros and cons to both. My three boys were in the same preschool room together. The pros: one class means one set of teachers, classroom activities, whil class birthday parties.
Cons: the were with each other ALL the time. They were great at school but it was non stop bickering at home.Now they are in three separate rooms for kindergarten.
The pros: they are each developing some independence. They are not in completion with each other. James is getting his own attention instead of just being "the twins brother"
The cons: three sets of everything; teachers homework classroom activities birthday parties (we got invites to 8 over a two week time span).In the long run I prefer them to be split up. My more shy twin has really blossomed and my oldest is really getting some great help with some of his academic issues.
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My brothers were always separated - they are identical, but as far as I know it was district policy to separate even fraternal twins.
Having grown up alongside twins and seeing firsthand the issues that can develop with perceived shared identity and difficulty developing independence, if I were to have twins, I wouldn't even consider putting them in the same class.
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I don't have twins but all the twins I do know have always been separated by the parents.
My college friend said her and her twin weren't allowed to apply to the same college.
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If I had to choose at this point, I would say separate them. Right now, they spend pretty much every single minute together. And while they love each other, they also drive each other nuts at times! I think separation is important for their own individual development. They need to learn how to be their own person, apart from being a twin.
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I found this interesting infographic about whether to keep twins together for school or not. - http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2012/11/12/autism/should-twins-be-placed-in-the-same-classroom-a-cool-infographic/.
It actually changed my mind a little bit. AND I had no clue that my state had a law that mandates the parents get final say on whether to separate their twins. WOW!
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