Hellobee Boards

I am researching this too at the moment because we're thinking we will TTC in the middle of my grad school years (in about 3-4 years). I have read "Mama, PhD" recently, and that was helpful, and Im reading "Professor Mommy" next. Most of the things I have read tend to recommend having a child during your dissertation writing year. We figure there is no "perfect time" so we're just going to try when we're emotionally ready, and then we'll figure the rest out as we go along.

I work full-time, work on my Masters part-time (two classes per semester), have a toddler and am pregnant and due in June with my second. I don't plan to take any time off school, but just taking late summer sessions. I have two years left until I finish. It's not easy or an ideal situation, but if you want to do it, you can. I think it's just one of those things where you either do it or you don't. You really have to MAKE it work.

If you have a really supportive partner, and especially if you have other family or friends around to help, it makes it much easier. Unfortunately, it's really hard to know how your partner will react to parenthood until the child is born. If you're going full-time, I would recommend some time off after the baby is born because it's so much more exhausting than you think it will be. Everyone warns you, and you think you know, but then when it happens you can't believe how difficult it is to just function as a human being those first few weeks (especially if you breastfeed.) Trying to do other things on top of it is really hard.

But it's definitely do-able. If your program has flexibility it really helps. And know your rights! They will vary by location, but if you have to miss class or deadlines due to childbirth, you should be able to make up for any missed exams or work or turn it in a little late. Find someone in the university who can help you.

Also, people always say to wait until your dissertation, but my daughter was the kind of child who wanted to be held constantly as a baby. With her, it would have been much easier to go to class and work on homework when she was little and write and concentrate now, when she's older and can entertain herself more. But you also don't know what your child's personality will be until he or she is born either!

I second "Mama, PhD." I actually reviewed it on my blog. I don't want to self promote, but it's my username dot com, just use the search box for mama, phd. It gave several women's experiences, both sides of the issues.

I will be done with grad school before we TTC but hubs may still be in his degree. Since we also both work full time along with full time grad school, we just didn't see it working out very well having a baby too!

I'm finished with grad school but did a PhD in a research field. We had a couple women who got pregnant early, they didn't finish (a couple guy's wives had babies early in the program and the guys finished the program). The most successful momma's were the ones who had a good repertoire with their boss and basically waited to write while they were pregnant and defend just before baby. They often stayed on with their boss after their PhD as a post-doc, or in a lab associated with their previous advisor. One girl had a baby after a couple years in school but it took her forever to complete her degree. Unfortunately the only successful new momma post-docs I've seen first hand are ones that were already had worked for their boss for years.

A decent percentage of male grad students in my phd program have kids. Zero women. It sucks. I have no idea how it would even work if I got pregnant. If I needed to take a semester off it would mean no funding (which would be okay, and no health insurance (which wouldn't). But, waiting until you are finished are into your first (academic) job (assuming you are a lucky person who gets a job) is not ideal either -- it is very busy and stressful. That tenure clock starts ticking and doesn't stop.

It makes me want to give up this whole career path I've chosen. These are the things I wish I'd thought of before I started -- the practical implications of not being established in your career when you want to have children in your early 30s.