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DH and I do not drink very often, so this probably isn't an issue. However, I wouldn't care if it was a few sips of wine or beer or something.
My mom used to give me sips of her strawberry daquiris as a kid. It wasnt a big deal.
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@mewtill: Agree. A drink is fine. Drinking to get drunk is not. At least until college. And absolutely not to children that are not mine.
We'll allow sips fairly young, and small glasses of wine or champagne by the teenage years. I was raised this way, and I never went crazy. I've had a few crazy nights, but I was no party girl and didn't drink that way in public.
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I'm really not sure how I'll handle this. I grew up in a house where there was never alcohol. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I saw my parents drink. I had my first drink my senior year of high school (2-3 years after most of my friends, FWIW), and then yes, I partied my face off in college. These days, I enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a few beers now and then.
Hubs, on the other hand, grew up in a family that drank. Not his parents, per se, but all of his relatives. And his brothers sometimes worry me with their drinking, and even occasionally so does Hubs. Like, there is no need to drink 6-8 beers on a Friday night, in our house, and get sh!tfaced by yourself. But that's rare, especially now that we have D.
So I don't know.... I think we will probably continue to enjoy our glass or two of wine or beer. We will not hide that from our kid(s); it is part of our family "culture." Maybe, once he's old enough and able to have a mature conversation about drinking responsibly, we'll allow him to have a small glass of wine or beer with us, alone, on a special occasion.
I would definitely NEVER serve his friends! I've seen that go horribly wrong a few too many times!
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I was allowed a few sips if I wanted but never really cared to. I'm not a big drinker now but will occasionally have some wine or a mixed drink. I think being allowed made me not want to rebel and go behind my parents back.
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We don't drink, so no. But I agree with the idea many of you are talking about - teaching kids by example, not making things "taboo" by normalizing it and modeling appropriate behavior.
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We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd rather teach my children about responsible drinking than expect them to learn it themselves in possible dangerous situations, so I'm not opposed to allowing them an occasional drink before 21.
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A few sips here and there is ok in my book
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My parents gave me my first glass of wine at my dad's 50th bday, when I was almost 15, and from then on allowed me to drink a little wine w them at meals. I never went crazy w drinking so I do th ink it helped me learn how to drink wo getting drunk. I will do the same for my kids too
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We were allowed sips of wine coolers and champagne and beer here and there.
I didn't go crazy with college drinking and neither did my younger brother. I think that had more to do with our faith and our physical inability to drink! (damn, asian genes. LOL)
Regardless, my parents never made it a huge issue and so it was never a huge taboo thing for either of us.
Same with DH... (though he was a frat boy in college!
and does socially drink now)
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@Dandelion: Completely agreed, I wouldn't let an problematic child drink with us even if they are in college! But someone who comes home on the weekend and wants to chat around the kitchen table with a glass of wine or a beer...sure!
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I think it completely depends on how our kids turn out as teenagers, but right now I'm thinking an occasional glass of wine or beer at home with family only. They will not be allowed to throw parties with alcohol at our house, and I certainly won't be buying alcohol for their friends!
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Probably, just depending on his maturity level. I was allowed to drink at 13, like an occasional wine cooler. I rarely ever drank though. Even when I went to college, I'd just have a glass of wine with friends if we got together and cooked dinner or something. Because it was readily available and not taboo, I never cared one way or the other about it. Drinking has never been a form of entertainment for me. If I drink nowadays, it's purely for the taste (I love blueberry wine!)
However, my brother was raised the same way and drinks like a fish!
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Yeah, at home for special occasions in moderatioin we'll allow a little bit here or there. Wine, champagne or beer likely. Nothing outrageous and nto until they are teenagers but I don't want to create a mentality that alcohol is bad or dirty, just to be treated with respect
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It depends on how mature and responsible each person is (I hesitate to say child, because other than tiny sips, they wouldn't have their own small glass until later on). We have alcohol in our house on a regular basis, as we have wine or beer with dinner, so I expect my son and any future kids to ask eventually.
My parents don't drink, but they let us have small amounts during holidays and special occasions anyway. My grandparents would let me finish the last sip of their beer when I was a child. I do credit being able to try it out before I was on my own- I was never irresponsible with alcohol in high school and college, alcohol was just never a big deal.
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we don't drink alcohol, so no. my mum did a really good job of having us not drink growing up without making it a big taboo thing I couldn't wait to do when I moved out. know what i mean?
i'm hoping we'll be able to do the same thing with our kids
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I'm very on the fence about this, and I think it will end up having a huge amount to do with what type of child LO is. For all I know, she won't have any interest in drinking, and it will be a moot point..
I think I'm more concerned about showing her good examples of responsible drinking. Alcoholism is pretty rampant in my DH's family, and although he is not an alcoholic, I do wonder if my LO will have an increased chance of being addicted to things. For that reason, it will really be a play it by ear type of thing, and like I said, I just want her to grow up observing healthy, non-destructive behaviors.
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Not until the age of majority, which is 18 here.
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My parents were wine connoisseurs so alcohol has always been in our house in appropriate amounts. We were allowed tiny sips with a meal from around the age of four and I was probably the only seven-year-old in the neighborhood who could make a decent attempt at wine matching with a meal!
I agree with what @Arden: was saying about modeling appropriate behavior. New Zealand has an issue with binge drinking culture, but as that behavior wasn't part of what I saw growing up, I don't binge drink as an adult. I'd rather demonstrate to my children a healthy appreciation for Gewürztraminer than let their friends convince them it's a great idea to get wasted with a cheap bottle of vodka. -
Once my parents knew that my sisters and I were drinking anyway (usually around 18 or so), they began letting us drink a little bit at home if we were staying in and not driving anywhere. They would never let other kids drink, but we would often drink together at home. Once we were 21, we would go out with our parents quite a bit! DH's parents were the same way. Once I was about 20, they would offer us a beer or glass of wine when we were over there. I don't think that I will do anything too differently. But, I think she would have to be 18.
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When they're legal (19 here)
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Big fat no! We don't drink so they won't either. When they hit 21, they can do as they please. Until then, there won't be alcohol under my roof
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I don't know how we will handle this. My husband and I have different views on the topic. He's European and there's really no drinking age and he doesn't view alcohol as taboo. I, on the other hand, feel that it's important to follow the rules and prohibit casual drinking and experimenting until legal age.
The one thing we agree on though, is that we will not be hosting any parties where we provide alcohol to underage drinkers.
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I also don't know how we'd handle this. Although my views are a little opposite from @looch, mainly because of where we live. Unlike the rest of Europe, here it's overly conservative when it comes to alcohol and it's common to see binge drinking with adults (at parties)! I don't want my LO to be so deprived and think that alcohol is sooo special that she's going to react like that.
We're not drinkers ourselves, so it's not like she'll see us drinking all the time. So maybe it's not something I can control.
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I'm a little conflicted. I see the positives of allowing them to drink in the home earlier, and I do think the drinking age should be lowered to 18. However, at this time the law is 21 and I don't want to give them the idea that it's ok to disobey the law if you don't agree with it. Also, I don't necessarily think that drinking with us would deter them from going crazy with their friends. Peer pressure is a powerful thing, and if everyone else is partying and getting drunk, I'm not convinced that kids would be like, "Oh hey, I'm good, I drink with my parents so I don't need it." It obviously worked for some of you, but I don't think it's 100 percent effective.
I don't know, there's a lot to think about. I come from a family with severe alcoholism issues, so I will be very wary of alcohol and my children.
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DH and I were just talking about this the other day. I see us allowing our children to taste whatever we're drinking from the time they can ask to do so. I think I'd also let them have their own drink if/when they ask for one (while we're all drinking, during or right before dinner, socially). I agree that I will definitely not condone drinking to get drunk, nor will I allow other kids to drink in my home. I want to encourage "quality" alcohol, too. So no cheap wine coolers or High Life.
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Special occasions, they can have some wine once they are 18. But only at the meal and only special occasions.
and does socially drink now)
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