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I struggle with this bc at family functions I always see one of DH's cousin let his daughters drink before they were of legal drinking age. Don't get me wrong they have done a GREAT job raising their girls and they are both super responsible. But I'm just not sure how I feel on that subject.

I think DH is def more lax on this than I am.

I, too, was allowed a few sips here and there. When I went to college, I didn't go crazy because it wasn't new or taboo. My first experience with too much liquor wasn't at a frat house, ya know? And I don't want my kids to think liquor is special because it's totally off limits. I want them to have a healthy attitude towards it and I don't think that necessarily means at 21.

At 18, yes.

No. When she is 21, she can drink in our home.

@mediagirl: see, being SO close to the Canadian border I struggle with 21. Because at 19 they can drive over and legally drink!

@regberadaisy: My hubby and his family are the same way. All the kids drank when they were between 14-16. Meanwhile, no one in my family drinks. This should be interesting to tackle when we approach that bridge!

My Dad had a beer most nights and both my parents would have wine or sherry with our weekend meals. I remember having my first sherry at 5yrs old and then had a glass of that or wine with them every week after that. At Xmas or New Year's I would always have a couple of glasses of champagne and fall asleep, just like everyone else!

I will do the same with my kids. I think it really helped me to drink alcohol in a safe environment from an early age, so I didn't go crazy as a teenager.

I think if I hadn't married into a family with rampant substance abuse problems I would have. But we currently do not keep alcohol at home, so unless that changes, I'm don't think so. Maybe at family gatherings with my family I'll split a drink with them once they're 17 or 18. Early introduction has been linked to significantly higher rates of alcoholism later in life, and because they'll have a family history, I worry about anything increasing that chance.

Most likely. We were allowed sips here and there starting in early teens. But minimal. And small glasses once we were 16+. I never had any desire to go crazy with it and I think that may be why. It wasn't DON'T DRINK it was more about it being a drink for adults, especially developmentally.

But of course AT HOME.

@rahlyrah: see that's the kicker to me. *Maybe* I'll let my kids have a sip here or there. But never to their friends. Not my place!

@blackbird: this exactly!

Yeah probably only if at home.
I was allowed and when I was of age I didn't go crazy. Actually by 21 I was over it all.

Yes she can have some when she's older, not sure what age, maybe 16. It's legal in most states for your own child in your own home, we def won't be giving any to other people's children.
But I do think it's best when children learn about alcohol from responsible adults (not the ones throwing keggers for minors) and not other teenagers. DH's family is from Europe and we visit regularly, where he's from the drinking age is 16 but pretty lax enforced so I'm sure she'll have beer or wine before she's 21.

Yes, I'd rather she drink with us and think of it as a casual, no biggie thing than do it behind our backs and think of it as a big deal and huge thrill. If she's drinking with us, we can teach her how to drink responsibly.

No.

I'm torn. On the one hand, my parents never had alcohol in the house, and definitely didn't permit us to drink any before the age of 21...and I grew up to be a cautious and responsible drinker. Same with my DH.

My HS friends that *did* go to parties and get Sh*tfaced always had parents with very full and non-monitored liquir cabinets, and that's where all the alcohol was coming from. They also had parents who would let them drink "a" beer while watching a football game, and I think it gave my friends an overall feeling that drinking was "okay" (and somehow that extended to it being "okay" that they take liquor or beer from their unknowing parents and bring it to parties).

On the other hand, I think it's *possible* for parents to offer their children an occasional drink and have them turn out alright.

But I'm definitely leaning towards just telling my children that in our country today, it's illegal, and until it's legal, I'll be following the laws. But I also plan to be proactive about drinking in general. I think that's where some parents fall short--they don't address the fact that their teens WILL be exposed to drinking and they don't talk about how their child should deal with those situations.

I know parents who buy alcohol for their kids to take to parties. They figure they are going to do it anyways so why not teach them the responsible ways of drinking rather than them going behind their backs and being unresponsible.

Uhh yeah.

Im sure our children will see us drinking and may occasionally have a taste. I will never purchase it for them or let them have parties at home but will strongly encourage them to call home if they are in an unsafe position.

Drinking was always a social occasion type of thing. I don't mind sip or taste when they are young and curious. Although, that didn't hinder me from sneaking a drink at a friend's house as a tween. I hope to model gold drinking and driving behavior so that when they are older than 16 and I am lax about them having their own glass of wine or whatever I don't regret it.

@LuLu Mom: Agreed...past high school, but not until. Also, it would depend on their track record and maturity. I won't let a rebellious kid drink anything, but a responsible kid, yeah I would...just a bit. None of their friends, though.

My parents NEVER drank so this was never an issue for me.

I had my first drink on my 21st birthday. I went a little party-crazy after that, but I've never blacked out. I've only thrown up from drinking once... the morning after our wedding! Haha.

My brother also never drank til he was 21.

Wagon Sr. grew up quite differently... his uncles forced him and his brother to try beer and they thought it was disgusting. They both drank in high school, and when they went to college they both went crazy as well.

So our experiences don't really mirror the whole "if you never expose your children to alcohol, they will seek it out and/or go crazy in college" theory. They're actually quite the opposite.

I'm very much a law-abiding citizen (I don't even like bending the law... even speeding) so I won't serve any children alcohol, even a taste. I hope to enjoy drinks with my kids after they turn 21 though! Wagon Sr. and I enjoy drinks with our parents all the time now.