I didn't have one, DH did. My mom had three kids when I was in MS/HS and she needed my help as a sitter in the afternoons and couldn't drive me to work. DH worked at a golf course and it was ideal-- good hours, no sketchy co-workers, no holidays, etc. I'm on the fence. If my kid could find a job that didn't interfere with school, I'd be fine with it. But most of my friends who got jobs at the mall ended up becoming potheads and had to work later than I would like my kid to be out at night.
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I wont make them do it but I will let them if they want to and I might encourage them to depending on their schedule. Having a job as teenager really helped me get a head start on understanding work life and the value of earning money
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Definitely not make, I don't think it's a kid's responsibility to get a job. If he WANTS one, I would support that and help make it happen (provide transportation if necessary, etc).
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I worked at a local retail shop on Saturdays and thought it was a good experience. However, I also worked in the restaurant industry (upscale local place) and stayed out really late, did drugs and met "older boys" so I definitely don't think that's a place for kids.
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It depends on what they're doing during the school year. If they are involved? No big deal. Not involved? Uh, get a job. I'll definitely encourage summer jobs if it's feasible. I don't know how it works around here--I was always in summer school+team sports in the summer back in CA, so I could never have held down a job. We had practice and games and traveling tournaments all the time. DH says it is different here and that sports aren't as all-consuming.
@luckypenny, I waited tables at 18 (the restaurant closed at midnight) and often got home at 2am. But i made tons of money for college, haha! But yeah, a lot of the people smoked and did drugs and stuff.....
Eta: i totally forgot about the off-season. I did three sports, though...
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I want them to have a job. If they are playing sports, then I want them to do something in the off season. I think that it is good for them to learn the value of a dollar and not expect Mom and Dad to just pay for everything. DH and I both started working early.
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I won't make them get a job, but I'll also only provide the basics of what they need, so if they want other things, they'll have to pay for them themselves! And if that means they need to get a job to get what they want, so be it!
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My parents did not want me to have a job in HS (they rather I focus all my energy on school), but I wanted to work and so glad I did. It taught me responsibility and the value of money. So yes, if my LO wanted to work I would support it -- but I wouldn't make her as long as she was doing something productive with her time and not hanging at the mall all day!
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I think if they wanted a job then we would fully support it.
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Their job is to go to school. I hope they'll work during the summer months, though.
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@mamimami: I agree, I think they can only keep the job if it doesn't affect their grades.
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I grew up going to high school (with straight A's), working after school and taking dance class 20+ hours a week - so it's certainly doable. We will require our kids to work some sort of part time job after school to pay for their gas and other fun things they'd like to do. If they're so involved in sports and other things that that becomes difficult, we will at least require them to work during the summer to raise that money for the rest of the year. I think it's a great way to teach kids about hard work, savings and more.
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As long as the job didn't interfere with school and enrichment activities (sports, music etc) and volunteering then I would be okay with. Both DH and I had jobs and participated in school activities. Having a job required that we make good use of the hours in our day for studying.
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I was so busy with extracurriculars I didn't have time to work besides helping at my dads business. I hope the same for my kids
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I tutored privately and at a center during high school. I will let them work retail jobs as long as it doesn't interfere with school/sports. DH worked p/t at retail jobs throughout high school.
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My kids will work in high school, just like DH and I did. Life is so busy, I find it was helpful to figure out how to balance the craziness. Plus if they want to buy things they will need to earn their money, just like DH and I did.
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I will let them, if they want to work. School and extracurriculars will always come first though.
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I worked summers at a golf course in HS - best job ever. We will probably let or make - hard to tell which way we will go as its a decade and a half away
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I've thought about this a lot and I'm still torn. I understand the value of money/work thing, but giving a kid a job gives them a lot of independence especially in this age. For example, if a kid gets a job and pays for his gas money and cell phone, do I still get to limit how/when he uses his cell or car? Can I honestly set a curfew of 11 PM for a kid who has to work until midnight on other occasions? I think if a kid doesn't work, he or she doesn't get all the fancy stuff. I didn't have a cell or a car in HS. But if he does work, then is he entitled to spend the money he earned, or can I make him save it, etc. My husband had a job and saved all his money for college. But his parents gave him spending money, cell, school clothes/supplies. He was a very obedient kid though. I wonder if I would have balked at such an arrangement.....
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I would certianly let them have a job if they want one, but I wouldn't make them. I got my first job when I was 18, after I finished high school.
Fun fact, my DH has never worked for anyone else in his life! He started his first business when he was 14 (making vinyl signs). I definitely don't think he missed out on anything for not having a part time job. I hope that we can teach our kids to be little entrepreneurs too!
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I do see what you mean. When my DH bought his first car at 16 (completely out of his own pocket) his parents once tried to "ground" him and prevent him from using it and he was just like "uh, you can't take my own car from me".
I think a curfew is still reasonable though. They still live in your house.
Also, I don't agree with the idea that just because a kid earns money he should be able to spend it whatever way he wants. As adults we have lots of things we need to spend money on that we wish we didn't have to. I think it's important to teach a teenager that he needs to pay his bills and put money in savings and only spend a portion of what he actually makes. My DH got in trouble for buying lunch everyday, for example, because his parents were teaching him that that was a poor way to spend money.
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Probably something during the summer. My only worry is that she works in maybe better places than I did. I worked in restaurants where there was a huge amount of drug use, which I know isn't the case in most restaurants. I didn't get sucked into it but a lot of the girls who were the same age as me ended up getting in over their head both with drugs and sex, and the guys were much older than the 16, 17 years we were.
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I was always active in sports during the school year (cross country in the fall, basketball fall-winter-spring), so I never had a job during the school year. I lifeguarded and taught swimming lessons at our local pool during the summers and usually worked 40+ hours a week. I LOVED it. I'm hoping our future children will be into something similar.
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I have the same mentality my parents had. Once you are of the age when you can make your own money, I will buy you necessities. Anything else you want, you buy. It taught me how to work for what I wanted, how to save for big important stuff vs just spending the money because I had it and respect for money and work. Best thing my parents did for me. They didn't do that with my younger sister and they are about to turn 21, only one has a job and neither are remotely smart with the little money they do have.
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I won't make them, but if they can show me that they can balance work/school, then I would let them, but only as a junior or older.
One of my co-workers doesn't let his kids work; he said their "job" is to be a student. His oldest is a junior and is in sports-- she needs to maintain a 4.0 GPA (she's in AP classes) in order to keep playing sports. She called his bluff one quarter and he pulled her out of soccer... LOL. I kind of like his approach, but I remember being so proud of myself after getting my first paycheck and buying my own prom dress. We'll see.
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Having a job at 16 and paying all my own bills taught me a lot of lessons! I also was super prepared for life on my own when I moved out. At the time I hated it!! But now I realize the value of it. I want my kids to learn the same lessons.
Plus I made some life long friends at my first job, and even married one of them!
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yes, you can and should parent even when the child has means.
If the curfew is 11, the child tells their employer upfront the hours he can work. Or you make the exception for days he's working. Or the child finds a job that does not require late hours- office work.
If you don't want your child having a cell phone then you forbid them from purchasing one. If she has a cell phone she is paying for you set the ground rules- keep and use under x, y, z rules. If she violates the rules tough luck, lesson learned she is now under a cell phone contract and doesn't get to use her phone.
If your child has a car that he paid for, but is grounded. Guess what he doesn't get to use his car. You don't have to let him buy a car if you don't feel he is mature enough for one.
Your child is still in your care, custody, and control.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I had a curfew up until the night before my wedding when I move out! It was reasonable. Along with my responsibilities, I gained lots of freedom. My dad let me do basically whatever I wanted as long as I paid my bills, did my chores, went to school and work, told him where I was going and that I was home when he asked me to. He couldn't sleep without knowing we were home safe, so he just wanted us home in time for him to get to bed at a decent hour.
Because of that, I was always honest with my dad where I was, even when I went to parties, and I never broke curfew.
He monitored my cell phone use only when I went over my minutes or text limit. But I also paid my portion of the cell phone bill. I never misused my cell phone but I think if I had my dad should have had the right to take it away.
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Both my brother and I worked in high school. He did caddying up at the country club in our neighborhood. I bused tables at two restaurants. For my first job, my mom made some crack about me working. I rode my bike the mile down the street and got a job bussing tables.
DH worked at his grandfather's HVAC business throughout high school and a little into college. So, he has a similar work ethic as me.
Depending upon the economy and their grades, I'll definitely encourage a summer job. I think it's important for a kid to learn the value of money and earning their way even in a small way.
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It depends on how busy she is with her extracurriculars. My mom made me get a job for the summer when I was 14 (and obviously unable to drive myself). I worked at a local movie theater and regularly got let out at midnight or 1am. I did not feel safe waiting for my parents to come get me.
In LO's case, if she wants to buy things above and beyond what we provide, she will need to get a job. However, I'd hate for her grades to slip (or for her to be exhausted 24/7) because she has a job + school + activities. We'll just have to evaluate when the time comes.
@Mrs. Sketchbook: Yep, you can parent even when your teenager is more independent. I'd even go so far to say that's when they need your guidance more! I know I fought my parents like crazy about curfews and rules when I had my license, but without their guidance, I probably would have gotten myself into trouble!
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: I worked at the mall and I didn't become a pothead. I was exposed to it during my senior year.
I think it depends on my child. Some can take the multi-tasking. Some can't. Either because they need to concentrate on school or they have extracurricular activities that takes up a lot of their time... Like sports.
I did end up having a job since I was 14 and it continues throughout college. For me, since my parents didn't have money, having a part time job was the only way I could afford to buy things. It motivated me to earn a 'living' and balance work and school. It also showed me how much of a workaholic I was. I had 3 part-time jobs at one point in high school.
If my child is motivated to balance work and school and not have grades suffer, I would let them.
I think time management is a great thing to learn. But like I said, it depends on the child. I don't want to push them to having a job if they are concentrating on sports or school.
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I prefer my kid be involved in extra curricular things, and if a job would interfere with homework and everything, then I wouldn't let/make him. But, if he can handle the schedule of it, I'd certainly let him do it.
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I would strongly encourage it. All of the kids I knew who *didn't* work had more time to party, laze, etc. I worked 15-20 hours a week in high school as a waitress and doing stable work and it forced me to learn time management and financial savvy. I didn't have time to mess around with carousing and mischief - I was waking up early for work or working late at night.
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I said make, but I would count mowing someone's lawn every other week, or cleaning Grandma's house once a month a job. I just want my kid to start learning as soon as possible the responsibilities of a job - even if I have to give them a 'job'. I had a 'real' job my senior year of high school (doing all the invoicing for accounts payable and receivable for a construction company), and it was invaluable!
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I worked at the mall, sometimes got home past 11pm (the only times my parents let me break my 10pm curfew!) and wasn't a pothead.
The potheads in my town all did not have jobs.Wagon Sr. also worked at the mall (while I worked at The Gap, he worked at Wendy's!!) and wasn't a pothead either.
I will let my kids work and strongly encourage them to do so, for their spending money, but I won't make them. If they don't want to work, though, they'll "make" their spending money that comes from me by working around the house!!
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If they choose not to do well in school then yes because they will need the job skills. If school isn't challenging them and they have too much time on their hands, then yes. Otherwise, they can do odds and ends (babysitting, yard work, etc) to make some spending money. School is their job and if they do well with that and don't get in trouble it isn't an issue. I prefer that they have other activities like sports and music.
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I voted make, but really I'd encourage him to get a job. I had a job since I was 15 years old at a local grocery store. I made a lot of friends, and it taught me how to manage money and time. Additionally, I think having a job at a younger age helped me to have a great work ethic as an adult.
Having a job would depend on his extracurricular activities, however. I wasn't involved in sports or anything like that. If he was involved in sports, I'd still let him have a job, but I would stress the importance of balancing those responsibilities with school work (With school work obviously being the most important part!).
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I voted no because my parents mostly didn't let my brother or I work (besides occasional babysitting, yard work, cat sitting, etc) because they didn't want it to interfere with school or extracurriculars, because we were always super busy with those activities and had really good grades. But it depends on the type of job I think, like if they had an opportunity that would be enriching or teach them skills they were interested in pursuing, I'd support that. But not necessarily to work just for the sake of working, if that makes sense.
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I wouldn't like my kid to have a regular job during the school year unless he or she was totally uninterested in sports/clubs/other organized activities and the job could take place during the hours between the end of the school day and dinner time. Weekend babysitting would be fine. During the summers, it's up to the kid -- I really miss having summers free now that I'm an adult so I don't think I'd push it too hard, but if my kid wants to make a bit of money and finds a decent way to do it, I'd be fine with that. I didn't have a job until the very end of my senior year of HS (which I wanted to do), and I'm glad my parents didn't make me work.
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It would depend on school and extracurriculars. I have had a steady job since I was 14, and am better for it. I was a lifeguard at our local community center year-round and I picked up extra teaching swimming lessons. That translated into my first supervisory experience, so it was a great thing for me! DH started his own lawn business at 13, and he has incredible work ethic.
The potheads in my town all did not have jobs.Subscribe to our newsletter
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