This is mostly just a vent i guess...
I went back to work when E was 8 weeks and he magically started sleeping for 7 hour stretches and I was only getting up with him once in the middle of the night and it was totally doable. That lasted about 4 weeks, but for the last 4 weeks his sleep has progressively started getting worse and worse. He now wakes up to eat 3 times and generally a few other times where he can be soothed without nursing. I'm losing it... I average 3-5 hours of sleep a night and am useless at work because all I can do is think about how tired I am.
DH is such a help and does what he can. He basically keeps the whole house running so I can take care of E and instead of being grateful I get cranky that he can't help watch E more so I could nap. We're EBF now and I can barely pump enough to keep up with what E eats during the day... so I have to get up to feed him in the night. The sleep deprivation is doing nothing to help my dwindling supply either and I should probably add another pumping session, but the last thing I want to do is add another thing to do in a day.
Tell me it gets better... I know it gets better, but I'm struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel today. I would give my left arm for 8 straight hours of sleep right now.
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You are not alone! This kind of things is one of my hot button issues when it comes to work and the male/female stereotype. Women that return to work after having a baby are expected to be giving 100% all day, every day as if nothing has changed and when a guy has a baby (at least in my work place) he is sympathized with and pampered and is given excuses because he's soooo tired. I'm sorry but on average, who do they really think is taking care of the baby during the night, particularly if the mom is breastfeeding?!?!
It does get better though! I too went back to work at 8 weeks and those first few months were a true struggle. I felt guilty because I barely saw my son awake and was too tired to feel like I was doing a good job at work. Once we night weaned at 6 months and my husband took over all night wakings, I was able to get some more sleep and only wake up to pump once during the night. What works for each family and on what time table your baby starts to stretch out sleep is a total unknown, but it will happen. What helped me in those first months was reminding myself that so many hundreds of thousands of women do this so I know I can do this too. But also, don't hesitate to vent and ask for some sympathy and support when you need it. You can't be superwoman much as many of us try to be.
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I don't have a lot of advice, but I do feel your pain. DD was sleeping through the night before we took her to daycare, and after that, she was waking up like yours. I started taking naps during my pumping sessions at work (and night nursings) just so I could function. Coffee was also a necessity...
Has your son gone through a recent milestone? Or is he a very alert baby? Those things will really mess with the sleep.
It does get better, but if you've seen any of my recent posts, it also gets worse. In the times that your baby wakes up and doesn't need to nurse, can your husband put your son back to sleep?
Just remember, you're not alone and we're here to help you through!! Vent whenever you need to!
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We started cosleeping for that reason. I get to sleep while he nurses.
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@pelikila: yea, I work in a small office and no one really even acknowledges that I could be sleep deprived. But they also don't give me crap for switching my hours around when I need to or taking time to pump... so that's nice. I also have that guilt that I never see him and then in the evenings I'm anxious to get him down to I can get things done and go to bed myself... which leads to more guilt, awesome. I get so much good info from HB, but sometimes I have a hard time coming on the boards and dealing with all the SAHM jealousy.
@BabyBoecksMom: Caffeine is definitely my friend. E has recently learned to roll over, and is getting much more alert, which I know all contributes to sleep issues. DH will come and rescue me if E is crying for a prolonged period in the night. I generally always go in first though because I'm not sure if he'll go back down without nursing or will need to eat. And if he needs to eat there's no use in both of us being up.
It's nice to hear I'm not alone. I know it's a common issue, but it's helpful to get it out sometimes.
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Ugh that sucks. Is there any conference room you can sneak into on your lunch break (maybe a visitor's office) and just put your head down for 20-30 minutes? Maybe in the mother's room, you can just get a mini catnap in? I have done that maybe twice in my first trimester, but it helped so much.
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That is so tough, vent away!!
In hindsight, I'm thankful that I was laid off and had 6 months of maternity leave before starting my new job. By then, DD was STTN, but I was still tired! I can't imagine waking up for feedings and WOH. Hang in there!!
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wahhhhhhhhhh my worst fear for when i go back to work
walking mom zombie.
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yeah its hard, my baby was also sleeping through the night at 12 weeks when I went back to work, but she regressed and started waking up every night. it really sucks, even on a good night I dont get more than 6 hours sleep because of everything else that has to be done. Its hard being a working mom, but I believe it does get better
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Vent away! My 4.5 month old has never slept through the night and has been in a terrible sleep regression for the past two weeks. He's pretty much up every 2 hours again. It sucks, but I just keep telling myself it's just a short time in our lives, and he'll be sleeping more at some point. I cried Saturday at like 4 am because it was the 4th time I was up that night and I was so tired.
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@kiddosc: I was the same way when I returned to work at 6 weeks. I was just dying from being so tired and EBF meant that DH couldn't get up with LO at night. At 3 months, I got appendicitis and had to have surgery. The surgery killed my supply so LO is now on formula. That was 3 weeks ago, and now we alternate getting up at night and I feel like a human again. I hate not BF anymore, but it was out of my control. But I do love feeling like a human again and DH being able to help at night is amazing.
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LO was a terrible sleeper- easy to get to sleep or to nurse back to sleep after a night waking, but he woke up ALL THE TIME. Eventually, we decided that he was big enough and healthy enough that he did NOT need to eat every 3 hours, and while we'd still get up with him and try to comfort him, we started making him wait longer stretches before I'd nurse him. So if he woke up 2 hours after his last nursing session, DH would do any comforting needed, and I would not enter the room till it had been at least FOUR hours, and we started bumping it up from there. DH slept in the guest room, and got very little sleep for a couple weeks, but it was really helpful... he'd sleep with the monitor, and he'd come get me when it had been enough hours that LO was allowed to eat again. LO started eating more before bed and in the morning, and did fine without those night feedings, and I think cutting them out definitely helped him sleep longer.
walking mom zombie.
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