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I more or less just see it as a "it is what it is" thing so there's no point for me to be sad about it, since I can't change it! I def make the time I have w/ DD count, and I'm more patient since I know I don't deal with her most days already.

I think, for me, the bottom line is I wouldn't be happy as a SAHM. I didn't have kids until I was 35; until then I'd spent the better part of the previous 15 years pursuing my education, traveling, and having a career. I wasn't ready to just say "OKAY ALL DONE" and give it all up. It's *harder* to fit it all in as a working mom, but right now my balance is great. I go to the gym 4x/week before work, spend time with my DH after she goes to bed, see her evenings and weekends. Only thing that has truly suffered is my social life.. and I've sort of made peace with that.

I don't feel the need to actively look at the positive side, because I never saw a negative side. It's what's best for our family and for us, I wouldn't change a thing,

@catomd00: This exactly.

I see nothing negative about being a WOHM so why do I need to look on the bright side of things? I had my children in my mid 30s and it never occurred to me to not work after I had them. I wouldn't be a good SAHM. Working makes me a better mother. Sure, some days I miss them like crazy. But I feel like I am contributing so much to our family by working and not just money. It's a better me.

When you put it that way about having only 62 hours for other things it sounds worse to me! But I am just recently back to work after a 6 month maternity leave and though I was pretty upset about returning I've found that I'm actually loving it. I knew I wouldn't be a good long term SAHM but being back at work I now realize how I was missing more of a structure to my days and just a larger sense of purpose. However, despite enjoying my job I definitely do not live to work (I work just barely 40 hours a week) and wouldn't want to work more (I would work part time if it was doable in my position). Working allows me to be a better parent to my daughter when I'm with her and also you know support her which is important too

@Mamasig: You said it better than I could have. I have never seen a negative side.

I think the thing I hate most about being a working mom is the commute! That just feels like wasted time. I don't yearn to be a SAHM, I'm not really sure that would be right for me. I just struggle with the balance sometimes.

@mediagirl: Haha, it's not that I don't see a negative side, it's that the positives have always outweighed them? Like yes now that you mention all those negatives, sure...they suck.. but they were never the spotlight for me.

@mediagirl: I could definitely tell you a bunch of negative stuff about my current employer, but I've always liked and enjoyed being a working mom. Also, because I'm in Canada I never had to worry about pumping or milk intake. I probably would feel differently if that were the case.

Definitely! Now that my LO is older than 1, I don't feel as guilty leaving him at daycare everyday. We still have a lot of fun together on our days off and I can take off time to be with him if I want to. I appreciate being able to continue with my career, which I really love and would not want to give up and being able to be a mother at the same time. I know that not working would not have been the right decision for me. I do wish there was a happy medium, though, in that I could have a longer maternity leave and be with my child in the months that I am necessary and then return to work when I'm ready.

I looked forward to going back to work. It was an easy transition because I am lucky to have a flex schedule and my mom is our primary care. I love working and not having to give up my career as I find that a part of myself that is really important to me. I've never had to actively think about the positives. Sure I wish leave was longer in the states and pumping is a pita, but overall I've never had resentment towards work.

@mediagirl: Oh there are plenty of negatives. I just look at those like the facts of life or something. It's just how life is!

I have a really family friendly job with a lot if flexibility and 6 months paid mat leave so it has never occurred to me to want to stay home. My commute is also only 10 mins and I work 8 to 5 so it just doesn't feel onerous to me. I play with DD in the morning and then walk her to daycare around 8.45. After her drop off, I jump on the subway to work, pick her up at 5.30 and then spend lots of time with her until bedtime. Seems like a really great balance to me.

@Mamasig: this. I don't have to work to choose to see the positive.
Sure, there are some negatives, just like there are for all things, but I'm much happier working!
Plus I LOVE my time with LO since I can just focus on her when I'm home. I also think it's important for her to see that women can work at something they love and be a great mom too.

She's at a daycare we love, Is well cared for there, and frankly doing so many more activities there than we would be doing at home.

I'm a teacher and love my job. I would feel a loss of identity if I stayed at home. I also have an ideal work schedule, with lots of vacation days and summers off.

@looch: Yes - you're right - going back at 14 weeks with NO family or backup care does make it harder. But I'm still happy to do it.

I struggle to see the positive side. It's not so much about the number hours in the day, but that so often I feel like I emotionally have nothing left to give at the end of the day. I have trouble relating to the sentiment of not seeing the negative side because for ME, working does not make me a better mom.

Am I the only no on here? haha.

Or rather, when I first went back to work, I wasn't seeing too many positives to my daughter being in daycare while I was at work. She was sick constantly, she never napped at daycare, she was exhausted by the time I picked her up so was too crabby for us to enjoy our time together. I was a terrible employee because I had to constantly take sick days because of LOs daycare illnesses. I was sleep deprived but couldn't nap when she napped because I was working. I was much more physically active while I was on Mat leave than when I went back to work. I could go on and on. Looking back now, I still think LO would have been better off with me at home that first year. She's always eaten better and napped better and generally thrived better with me than with other caregivers.

However, after the turned one and after my first summer at home with her (I have summers off)...that summer was blissful so I was so afraid of more illnesses when I went back to work. But her immune system was better, and she was older and liking the more stimulating environment of daycare more, and I was a better employee and I was getting more sleep overall, so it was easier to see a positive side.

I also don't have a lot of the benefits a lot of working moms talk about (going to take coffee breaks, or quiet lunches, or peeing whenever, or leaving the kids in daycare while they go get their nails or hair done). Because of my particular work/daycare situation, I spend all day long on my feet with hormonal preteens, and I never get to pee when I want, and I rarely get to eat lunch in peace, and I never have a moment to myself during the day. And then because LO commutes with me to a daycare close to my work and it's an hour commute, if I take a day off work, LO is with me at home too....because I'm not going to drive 4 hours in a day to go back and forth to her daycare.

Eh. I like my job, and that helps. But I feel the same with LO 2 now. I really wish I didn't have to work during her first year. I should be Canadian.

@JoJoGirl: @mediagirl: Haha, yeah, I have it really, really good. My son goes to my parents in the morning, they get him dressed for school, my mom packs his lunch, they drop him off, pick him up, take him to appointments, etc. And two days a week on my long commute days, we eat family dinner there. Sick days don't even factor in unless I'm sick, my parents can keep him home no problem. Plus I didn't go back to work until my son was 2 and I kind of just picked up where I left off without a lot of adjustments.

@anagram: I agree with what you wrote about your LO and other caregivers versus yourself. That was absolutely and still is the case for my son, but it's gotten so much better as he's gotten older.

@mediagirl: Yeah, pumping basically blows. The only reason I didn't have MAJOR issues with pumping are because 1) I have my own office and 2) My boss at the time was an LC! Haha. So she basically scheduled all our meetings and whatnot around my pumping schedule. That helped.