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There are definitely things that are a bummer about being a working parent. Mainly just that wearing two hats is HARD. All the things that need to get done around the house (laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal prep, etc) still need to get done... but as a WOHM, you have a lot fewer hours at home to actually accomplish them. And I still have to do all the things at work that my non-parent colleagues have to do, but I don't have the luxury of just working late to catch up if I need to, because I want to get home to my daughter on time every day and enjoy a few hours with her.

But I'm fortunate enough that we could afford for me to work or stay home, and my preference was to work, so I never feel like I "have" to do it, and that makes it easier to see it as a good thing rather than a burden.

Wow, I am surprised that the question was even posed. It never even occurred to me that I would need to work on this issue or "choose to see the positives". I love my son, but I would go crazy if I had to stay home full time with him. My issue with being a working mom is the lack of downtime. However, I would have that problem if I was a SAHM, too, unless I had lots of childcare.

I am lucky, though, that I have a flexible job and can work from home when I need to (usually about once per week). That makes it easier to balance everything. I am also really happy with our childcare situation.

@mediagirl: One thing my SIL found was that getting an after school nanny helped immensely with the kids and homework.

She said that with after school care (at the school), the kids would be wound up and they would all come rushing in the door together at 6 pm rushing for dinner, putting away backpacks etc.

With the nanny, the kids would get home at 4 pm and get settled at the house (snack, hang up backpacks etc). By the time the parents came home, they were able to jump right into dinner and homework. They said the cost difference was minimal but made a HUGE difference in after school transition.

I am only working 3 days a week and most of it's from home, but I find that with 2 kids...I enjoy working as a break from the routine of raising kids. I have much more patience with them on my non-work days and/or after work.

I have a very flexible working situation though. And I have a nanny that watches the baby at home while I nurse when I want. She does kids laundry and keeps the house immaculate. I am fortunate to have this arrangement. We don't technically need my income....but it pays for both kids' childcare (we were paying for T to go to preschool anyways...), my law school loans, and I can save a little for my IRA and the kids' education. And my employer pays for my continuing legal education and lawyer annual dues.

I hated working after I had T. He was a baby, my husband was in residency and T was in daycare. I worked 50 hours a week, was in charge of all the daycare schlep, and never had time for anything and felt like I was failing at everything. I quit when he was 14 months old and took 2 years off (and in the meantime had another baby). I debated going back to work for a long time after our second was born. But it got to the point where I didn't really have any excuse not to work, had never envisioned being a SAHM, and felt frazzled and burnt out at home. So, this will work for the foreseeable future.

@mediagirl: I'm surprised too! I went back at 7 weeks. I was just getting used to breastfeeding, wasn't even close to sleeping. I've always had to work 40+ hours and at my last company I was the only female manager, so I didn't even have other moms to relate to.
We also live away from family. My family has never watched him ever. No regular babysitter. (Our last date night was over a year ago!)

It's never easy, but I'm up for the challenge!

@JoJoGirl:

Overall, I enjoy working and I appreciate being able to take a day off here and there while sending H to daycare (hello sick day!). But I do resent it as well. I hate missing so much time with her, I hate that I had to go back after 12 weeks, and while my supervisor is flexible, I hate that there are nights every week where I don't get to see her because I have to work. So I try to focus on the positives.

@Apples4Teacher: <<Not everyone has the luxury of loving their job so I'm not surprised some people need to look at the bright side of working.>>

I really appreciate how you said that. I've been following along with this thread. I can't really contribute at this point because while I used to work 30ish hours per week I have now cut back to just a few hours per week and SAH with my LO.

Even though I wanted to SAH and took the opportunity as soon as it was feasible for our family, I always felt very fortunate that I was doing work I enjoyed. I do think that is truly a privilege! I was able to have to a flexible job working from home because of my husband's earnings - and we were both able to get where we did because our parents paid for us to go to college and supported us in many ways early in our adult lives. For example, if I had more student loans, I 100% would have had to stay in a 9-5 job instead of freelancing after LO was born.

I think it is unfortunately pretty atypical to love your job. More common with the women here probably because of socioeconomic status, but that has not been the case for the majority of women I know in real life. So, I think this article probably resonates with a lot of women.

I think there's a general societal perception that moms who work are doing so because they have to, or, if they're choosing to, that they're not all that excited about it. Like many others have already said, I never imagined NOT working and being on maternity leave only reinforced that perspective. I had my daughter later in life (32) because I love my career and the time wasn't right for me any earlier than that. Work is a huge part of my personality and who I am, it defines me in many ways much more than being a mom does. And I am a better parent because I work. I notice more because I'm not with LO 100% of the time, I'm more mindful of our time together and how we spend it. For me, the hard parts are when work gets busy and I have to work late occasionally or travel (rarely) and I can't always get time to catch up on either side. I feel like I'm not doing either my job nor parenting right. But those times are temporary.