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I don't really work in a traditional office so I can't really speak from personal experience-- but my husband sort of talks about this a lot (he works for a big corporation). Mostly the special treatment is for people with kids. Most of the women with kids leave early every day (they come in early so they work the "right" number of hours-- except people who work traditional hours rarely actually leave at 5 they stay until they are done rather than rushing out at 3:15, etc).

For his office though, I don't think it is so much special treatment as just the office allows people to choose the type of employee they are going to be-- and there are consequences for that. Yes, some people (mostly women with children) punch the clock, do exactly what they have to do and get the hell out of dodge. But they also don't get promoted like those who are more committed to the work do. My husband (and most of the men who have children, it seems) choose/are able to stay until the work is done, work weekends if necessary, and rarely take days off. They've been told they are basically on the management track.

To me, it seems appropriate. I think if work is not your top priority that's fine, but I don't think you should expect all the same rewards as those who work harder and longer.

(And to be clear-- the gender lines are just how it happens to mostly break down. My DH's boss is actually a woman who works her ass off, but among the others it does seem to break down by gender).

This actually irks me big time!

My DH gets the short end of this stick ALL the time at work! He works shift work with no set days off so while we never expect that he will have holidays off he has been told on more than one occasion that someone else (who asked after my DH) is getting the day off because they have a FAMILY!!! I'm sorry that we have been struggling for almost 2 years to have a child but I don't really understand how my DH and I don't count as a family in his bosses eyes.... makes me have serious rage! /rant

My job is pretty much 180 degrees opposite of what you are describing. We all work on billable hours, so you work you get promoted/bonuses, you don't you will likely be out of a job. However, both of my bosses are extremely flexible, if I have a doctor's appointment and come in late as long as I make my billables no one says anything. There is no special treatment for anyone and I appreciate it.

Hmm... I guess I feel like people with children tend to NEED more flexibility than people who don't, but in general, I think everyone should have the same flexibility. And I definitely don't think people with family DESERVE things more than others - that's just bizarre!

The only different treatment I've noticed at my job since becoming a mom is that one of my bosses assumed I wouldn't be able to go on travel for a few days, which is accurate. But he also talked to me about it so if I had really wanted to go and was able, I could have. I was also able to pass out on mandatory training because it would have affected my pumping schedule and my boss okayed me to skip it.

ETA: But I think my boss would give the same flexibility to ANYONE. If someone couldn't take the training for another valid reason, he'd be okay with them not taking it. Same with the travel situation. But my company is fairly family friendly and my boss is VERY family friendly.

I think family obligations include caring for elderly parents and sick partners too, I would not want to work for an organization that didn't provide support for all employees.

The thing is you have to ask for what you need and sometimes parents are more aware of their scheduling needs further in advance because things with kids are a little less flexible.

I've seen it a bit at DH's office. In past years, he would always be the one to work late or on holidays if needed, because he didn't have kids. I didn't mind because it was overtime pay, and this year I had him put in for vacation over spring break ASAP, because all the parents fight over it, and it's DH's turn!