Ok so my little nephew is like 4 weeks old and I adore him! I am always loving on him and buying him everything I see and trying to talk to my sister and be interested in her life. As many of you know my sister has always been just not a warm person, and it was even worse during her pregnancy. She was just mean to all of us.

Anyways I am a HORRIBLE person! I get so jeaous Everytime we all hang out I go home crying. I just want to have my own baby. And again I love the baby but I guess I am too immature to handle the fact that now I get no attention and everyone is focused on the baby and my sister. My parents don't txt or call anymore. The only time they let me come over is when I offer to help my mom with cleaning or setting up parties or something. Everyone else is constantly over at my sisters house or babysitting or whatever. I wait for an invitation and it never comes so then I sneakily text asking if my sister needs anything or a babysitter or dinner and she always says no.

So I know I am sounding like a child. I guess I am having a much harder time dealing with my infertility. I talked to my mom about how we are starting the foster process and didnt get a very nice reaction from her last night.

Help me not be so jealous! I feel like I dont even want to go over anymore when my sister and nephew are there because I am completely ignored.