If your IL's didn't wish your LO happy birthday?
Neither FIL or MIL called/texted/facebooked happy birthday on DS's birthday and they still haven't said anything 3 days later. I don't expect them to give gifts but a phone call would have been nice to let him know they care.
Should I contact them? Or just let it go?
watermelon / 14206 posts
I would be upset...but I wouldn't contact them. Not to confront them, anyways. I would call them up for another reason and then say, "well, we had a nice party for LO's birthday..." and see if that triggers anything from them.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I would be upset but I wouldn't say anything to them. That would just lead to more hurt feelings and anger. I would probably just make more of a point of reminding them that his bday is coming up next year so hopefully his feelings won't be hurt again.
persimmon / 1479 posts
MY MIL will send a card weeks later if anything at all. It does hurt when someone doesn't treat your loved ones as well as they deserve. It makes me sad that they aren't more important to her than that. DH has reached out and asked her to be more involved and it was not recieved well, so this is how things are:(
ETA: She lives 1.5 hours away and has never attened a birthday party for any of our kids (10,4 and 4 months). She usually has plans:/
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I would be upset. And we would def be saying something.
pomelo / 5469 posts
Do they usually make an effort? Is this just a one off year? If they don't then I wouldn't say anything but if they usually send something or call I would mention next time you speak to them what you did for his birthday and see how they react.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I'd be upset, and I would tell DH to say something to them probably. That's pretty rude.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I'd definitely be upset. I'd say something to the hubby and let him handle it.
coconut / 8483 posts
Aw that's too bad. I wouldn't know what to say, so since it was your ILs I'd let your DH handle it maybe?
pineapple / 12053 posts
i'd be upset, but i can't imagine this happening since they send cards for valentine's day and easter for LO and she's only 3 months.
pineapple / 12234 posts
@illumina: yes, well MIL usually stops by with a gift or a card. We typically spend every holiday (Easter, Christmas, birthdays, etc) with her so it seems off. She's not old or anything to where she would forget. Her parents (DS's great grandparents) called the day after so, they remembered.
I want to call MIL and say, "Ben turned 4 on Saturday and he was really sad that neither of his grand parents wished him happy birthday" they are both attending their other grandson's 4th birthday party this Saturday so we'll see them then.
cantaloupe / 6610 posts
I would totally be upset! And I'd probably let them know about it. I can't let stuff go, but I would feel protective of my LO, to make sure it doesn't happen in the future. I would never want her to think her family doesn't care enough to remember her birthday. Especially when bdays are such a big deal to kids!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I would be upset. My husband would be really upset. He would probably mention her birthday to them on the phone and see the reaction but not say anything confrontational.
pomelo / 5469 posts
@HLK208: that's strange... I would definitely call them out on it in some way and see why it happened. Or better yet, get your DH to do it so you don't come off as the bad guy.
eggplant / 11716 posts
I never remember anyone's birthdays because my family is just not big into birthdays. I always call my mom, and of course I remember my husbands, but out of mu 5 siblings and 8 nieces and nephews, I only call or say something if I happen to be visiting over their birthday. But none if us do it, so no one's feelings are hurt.
I have no idea if my mom calls her grandkids on their bdays or not. My oldest niece is 26 and hard to get in touch with, but maybe my mom leaves a message? No clue.
Does your MIL remember your husbands birthday?
pear / 1812 posts
I would be upset/shocked and would definitely say something. IL's forgetting my birthday is one thing. Forgetting LO's is a whole different ball game.
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
I wouldn't be upset... nobody ever remembers our LO's birthdays (as far as I'm aware, at least!) and that's fine with me.
coffee bean / 43 posts
Since I'm a wimp about confrontation, I'd have my husband call and say something like "we were really surprised we didn't hear from you Saturday, is everything all right?".
That way if they actually forgot you can make them feel guilty (haha), and if it was something like they figured they'd see you next weekend and would say something then blah blah blah, then you can have a conversation about your expectations about future birthdays.
kiwi / 729 posts
I'm not sure. If it was the LO's very first birthday, maybe i'd be a little miffed. But if its anything past that, its more of an immediate family kind of celebration (IMHO). Do the in-laws live far away?
My sister lives in NY (I live in the midwest) and she was upset that we didn't call when her daughter turned 4. (I think she was upset that nobody in the family called her daughter) But I wasn't aware that it was a "rule" to call other people to wish their children a happy birthday.
nectarine / 2163 posts
meh, I'm going against the common answer here and saying no, I wouldn't care. in fact, I'm not convinced I would even notice if they forgot 
persimmon / 1361 posts
Uh...yes! That would really make me mad. Like what planet are they from? I probably wouldn't say anything though.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I wouldn't care. Birthdays aren't a big deal to me and I wait until I've seen the person to wish them a happy birthday (I never call).
pineapple / 12234 posts
@Anagram: I think there is more understanding with bigger families. The IL's only have two grandsons and they are somewhat close with them.
@Mrs Hedgehog: totally, I haven't cared that they forget my birthday lol.
@Cchoi4: I don't think it's a rule for anyone else (aunts, uncles) but for grand parents that live ten minutes away - I'm bummed.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
I would be pissed! But I wouldn't say anything to them, just like I never say anything when they forget mine each year.
persimmon / 1081 posts
I wouldn't be upset. I don't think birthdays are that big of a deal, so if I wasn't throwing LO a birthday party, I wouldn't expect anyone to remember. But would my ILs ever miss a birthday party? No, they would not.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I'd be upset.
I'd email out birthday pics and say b had a great birthday. 
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I wouldn't be upset because I don't expect anyone except DH and I to remember our children's birthday.
pear / 1723 posts
Woah - that is crazytown! Are they normally like that? I would be really upset.
bananas / 9227 posts
I would be pissed. But that's because they remember everyone's birthday and make it a point to visit, even on the day of. I normally wouldn't say anything, but if they ever did this to my LO, I would call them out on it!
pineapple / 12234 posts
@Crumbs: yeah, they had a birthday party for DH this year so I think it's crappy.
nectarine / 2217 posts
oh that's not cool 
i think personally i would only be upset if I had 'reminded' them in some way in the weeks leading up to the day, such as inviting them to LO's bday or something like that. If i didn't have a party or didn't invite them, then I'd be ok if they didn't say anything.... but I would assume they had just forgotton and that when they finally remembered they'd call!
is it possible they just totally forgot and will feel terrible when they remember later?
i know it's not nice to have someone that close forget something that important, but i guess i hope that was all it was and that they will try to make up for it when they remember!
bananas / 9227 posts
@HLK208: that makes it extra crappy then how's your DH taking it?
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