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Before DH and I got married we talked about kids.. He didn't want them, I did! Not having kids wasn't a deal breaker for me though..
Funny how things change because we have a daughter, son on the way, and DH is absolutely crazy about both.
It's too bad your friend's husband pulled this on her..

I have a friend who just filed for divorce for this reason. It would be a deal breaker for me, and DH and I were very clear to each other before we got married that we both 100% wanted kids.

I would consider it. I'm not sure I'd divorce over it, but it would be on the table for a change like that. I have always, always, always wanted kids, so if he changed his mind and 'took that away from me', I'm not sure I could get past it without always resenting him. If it turned out we just couldn't, for some biological reason or whatever, it would be easier for me to get over it, because it wouldn't be his choice to keep that from me. (in a hypothetical situation where there weren't other alternatives like adoption).
That's an awful situation for both of them to be in. I'm sure he didn't go into it lying and really did just change his mind, but how awful for both of them.

Gosh, no idea, but my gut feeling is that we'd divorce...but then again, I am older, so if that was truly the time line with my age, I'd doubt my abilities to find another partner before becoming advanced maternal age.

I can't answer this with a yes or no...it's so tough!

1- divorce is a huge issue and her vows are very important and I don't blame her for feeling conflicted between staying and leaving.

2- How can someone tell someone else they want kids and then decide they are taking that away from them? I think it is selfish (to say it then take it back). I would feel like "this guy doesn't love me if he would toy with my emotions like that...."

It's so, so, so tough...:( I pray that she can fix things up in her life (whatever that may be)

This would have been a deal breaker for me and for my husband. We were both very clear from the beginning that having kids was non-negotiable for both of us. His father was married prior to his mother and they divorced because his father's first wife decided she didn't want kids so my hubs didn't want to go through that.

I think it's really crappy that her husband pulled a 180 on her. But I also think no one should be a parent unless they are 100% commited to it, so I respect that he was honest with her. I think it's best that they just part ways. I know I personally would feel resentful of my husband for my whole life if he took away my opportunity to be a mother.

@MamaMoose: But I also think no one should be a parent unless they are 100% commited to it, so I respect that he was honest with her.
I agree-- it royally sucks, but better now than when they have a baby and he resents the innocent baby.

As far as the vows, as far as I am concerned, being open to having children WAS part of my vows. I don't think we explicitly said it in church, but that was part of our agreement to get married, and this is especially true in religious ceremonies. Our priest asked us and everything.

Still don't know what I would do, though.

I would be EXTREMELY upset, and would definitely have to figure out some middle ground, but I dont think I would get a divorce over it. I think our generation is a little quick to jump on the divorce train

Wow... that's awful. I have no idea what I'd do. I'm 32, so divorcing DH and hoping to find another mate I loved enough to marry, then having kids... that would certainly take up a chunk of my fertile time. I don't see what divorcing him would do to help my situation in so far as children went... but it depends how old the person is. I would certainly always resent him, though, and I can't say it wouldn't eventually lead to a divorce because of the divide.

it would be tough. DH and i talked in length about kids before we even were engaged. i told him upfront that if he did not want children we weren't going to be together...but, if after we were married and he all of a sudden changed his mind it would be tough.

Yup, dealbreaker. The resentment would be too strong. I know he feels the same way about me, if i decided not to have kids. Not being ABLE to is a different story. We know we'd adopt. But just saying, "nope, don't want them" was not acceptable

My brother got a divorce for the same reason. However, he went into the marriage knowing how she felt about kids (couldn't stand them, didn't want them). He thought he could change her mind once they got married. Well, of course she stood her ground and they eventually got divorced. He's now remarried with 2 kids.

The only things I would consider divorce for would be abuse &/or infidelity and even those would take alot of things and counseling into consideration.

My biggest thing would be to find out what changed. People don't just make 180 decisions just because. Did he see something, hear something, become fearful, know something I don't know, what?... There HAS to be a reason and as a wife I expect to need to know the reasoning behind my husbands actions so that I can better understand him. Especially in the cases where a marriage ends and then the spouse goes on to have children with their new wife..... what was it in the first marriage that made them not want to? Assuming of course it wasn't just a cop-out to divorce.

All of these things would play a HUGE factor into what DH and I would do to help our marriage be successful and who knows, if the internal issues DH had got resolved he may be open to children again some time in the future. I just know I couldn't leave him just for being him after I already told him in marrying him that I accepted him (given it's not abusive or damaging to me).

I'm honestly not sure what I would do. I don't think I can live without DH, but I can live without kids, as much as I want them. But I think that if he did this, I would be resentful and unhappy for a long time and I think it would end up destroying our relationship.

Wow, this is so tough. I can't imagine this ever happening - DH and I were both SO excited to start a family from the very beginning. It wasn't just, "Oh, we'll have kids one day," but we actively fantasize what that will be like. I feel like I was VERY sure that we had the same aspirations, so I would be completely shocked if he changed his mind.

Having said that, I do think it is grounds for divorce - not solely because DH didn't want children, but because I think the feelings of betrayal and resentment would probably persist forever. I would try really hard to work it out in counseling but I doubt I could get past it and be OK with it, and that wouldn't be fair to either of us.

luckily, this is a non-issue for us. but i'm with @MrsCB. i wouldn't want a divorce but i may be resentful and that could lead to a divorce?

@chopsuey119: haha this is a good kinda 180!

@autumnlove: i would be devastated if my hubby did that to me. wow.

@Mrs. Superhero: @kiddosc: i wonder what he would say if she stayed in the marriage and wanted a sperm donor.

What about an annulment? It should be granted under fraud since he clearly led her to believe one thing and then changed his mind