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I think you have to do what makes sense for your family. You define your family, not a piece of paper.

I would consult with a lawyer to find out what a legal separation would mean for finances, custody, any shared assets, etc. Good luck.

I know someone who's done that. It's sad, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. In the end, it's only paperwork and no one has to know.

You have to do what's going to be best for you. If his condition is a long term thing, and being unemployed is going to be his future, then maybe that is the best course of action. Definitely consult and research all aspects to make sure you can continue your living situation without it affecting things. If you're commonlaw as you would still be living together, would he still get the same benefit? ( not sure if commonlaw is a thing where you live?)

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I agree with the others that you should do whatever is in your family's best interest and consult with professionals to be sure that it will work. I personally don't think a legal marriage is the be all end all, but it definitely does confer certain legal and financial advantages. Good luck!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know others that have done this. You have to do what's right for your family. You'll still be married at heart where is matters most.

I'm so sorry you're in this spot. I think I would be concerned about the medical decisions side of things but I'm assuming your lawyer can help with that.

I wonder if perhaps it would be helpful to you to do some sort of vow renewal once you go through the process. It might help put a positive spin on it and give you special memories. It could be as simple as repeating the vows from your wedding ceremony and having a nice dinner together.

I think household income might be used for determining if he qualifies for benefits. You may have to establish a separate address for him. Just a thought.

It depends, my situation is different because my husband and I are not citizens of the same country.

This is one of the things that seriously upsets me about the US, we simply do not have a good enough safety net for people that fall on difficult times.

I think you posted more looking for responses to the emotional/social aspects of the question but it's hard to turn my lawyer hat off sometimes. I know you said that you were consulting a lawyer, which is a great idea. I don't practice in family law or estate planning but my biggest concern is the rights you would be giving up by doing this. For example, spouses are afforded certain rights when another spouse is ill. You could be denied the right to visit your ex-spouse in the hospital or make medical decisions on his behalf (though I'm sure proper paperwork could help with the medical decision aspect). You would also need to make sure that you have consulted an estate planning attorney. I'm not sure where you are located but if you are in the U.S., in most states, if you are married and die without a will, your spouse would have rights to your property. However, if you die without a will and are unmarried, that list of people who would be automatically entitled to your property changes to people such as children, parents, siblings, etc. (varies from state to state). Also, you would want to consider how you own any real property (if you own your house). There are different ways to take ownership to real property and if one of you died, it's possible the surviving ex-spouse wouldn't be entitled to property. I think there would be a lot of legal aspects to consider if you were to move forward with this plan.

Just want to add that if you do this make SURE you have each other appointed dueable power of attorney for healthcare and finances. That way you can legally make decisions for each other than would legally fall to a spouse and then next of kin. That way you won't be fighting in laws over decisions.

This makes me sad.

BUT from a lawyer perspective (I have to put on my lawyer hat like another poster said), just be aware that being divorced but still living together may impact your husband's eligibility for some public benefits like SSI. Regardless of whether your state recognizes common law marriage or not.

For SSI, if you are living with someone, Social Security considers that you are "holding out" as married and treats you as such. Medicaid and food stamps use your household, married or not. The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare/insurance exchange) uses your tax filing household. Just be aware and make sure if you meet with an attorney they are aware.

Good luck

I have no advice, just want to send some love your way

I'm really sorry. I actually had a friend in high school whose parents did this very thing. They still lived together though so not sure about that aspect of it. As far as I know they were successful.