So, this weekend was supposed to be my first night away from DS (11 months) to attend a bachelorette party for a dear friend (I'm the MOH.) DS has a temp of 102 and is throwing up. DH thinks I should go even if the baby is still sick, I completely disagree.
Would you go or would you stay?
Eta: the party is nearly 3 hours away
104 votes
nectarine / 2641 posts
My answer depends on how far away you have to go to get there, and also on how he feels in the morning. Sometimes these things pass so quickly that I wouldn't say definitely not yet, but if things take a turn for the worse or you're more than 2 hours away, then I'd cancel.
squash / 13764 posts
Does he have a huge mommy preference? Or is he ok with daddy? My son would have only wanted me so I would have had to stay 
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I would probably go if I was the MOH. I hope he feels better soon.
pomegranate / 3192 posts
No I wouldn't, I'd feel too guilty plus I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself because I'd be worried about my kiddo. If do whatever you're comfortable doing!
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
@hilsy85: I mean mommy is #1 but he loves his daddy. DH thinks he is up to the task.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I was going to say the same as @hilsy85: - my LO had a huge mommy preference so I would have felt really bad leaving her. If I thought she would have been ok with daddy I probably would go as MOH (but not for just a regular friend).
nectarine / 2173 posts
I would but my DH is fully capable of taking care of LO, sick or not sick.
pomelo / 5258 posts
I would only consider staying home if I was nursing. I would probably go but feel guilt about mythical antibodies. If baby continues to vomit I may stay home to help with hydration. I would definitely go if I weren't nursing.
nectarine / 2974 posts
I would still go. DH is just as capable as me to take care of a sick kid!
pomegranate / 3401 posts
If it was my girl I would pass...but only because she has super intense mommy preference and still nurses a lot for comfort.
But do what you feel is best! Mama knows best! Hope he feels better soon!! 
persimmon / 1043 posts
I would lean towards going, even though I wouldn't have a great time and would be checking with DH for updates on LO constantly haha. As MOH, I think it would be great if you could go... It's hard, I know
persimmon / 1322 posts
I wouldn't go myself, but see nothing wrong with you going. My daughter (9 months) has a huge mommy preference, is a comfort nurser, and although she loves daddy, she will not sleep for him. I would feel guilty. But it sounds like your husband and baby will be just fine, I say go and enjoy it!
clementine / 778 posts
If it was me, I'd go. My husband is very capable of taking care of DS sick or not sick.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I would stay home with baby. But mine both had very severe mummy preferences and I would want to nurse them if they were throwing up.
I would follow your mummy gut on this one. If you feel okay going (sounds like your DH can totally manage) then absolutely go. If you would be miserable stay home. Hugs, it's a hard one
nectarine / 2951 posts
Since puking is the absolute worst, I would most likely not leave DH with a sick kid. Would you be away the entire weekend? Or just a night?
pomegranate / 3355 posts
I wouldn't go but I don't see anything wrong if you did. I'd try to wait until the absolute last minute though and if DD was showing signs of improvement then I'd go.
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
I wouldnt leave with grandma or a babysitter, but i would leave him with daddy
eggplant / 11861 posts
@simplyfelicity: ugh so hard! I would say of he doesn't nurse at all anymore, is happy with DH doing bedtime and such and you feel somewhat OK, since you are MOH i'd go, won't be easy........
If it was just a girls night I'd say skip it!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Yes because you're MOH. If you had more than one I would say no because a sick kid and taking care of another is a lot.
Go, have fun! Daddy can handle sick babies too. 
grapefruit / 4817 posts
If your DH says he's good and he wants you to go, I'd go. Especially since you're MOH. Him pushing you might mean he'd like the chance to handle it by himself. Since I'm primary caretaker, my husband really enjoys that kind of time alone with our son. I think he feels accomplished and confident if he's the one handling the problem since he doesn't get to be that main caretaker most days.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
I would go but feel terrible. Dh had been out of town when lo had been sick, and I was grumpy about it but also understood. So, partly I'd feel like it was my turn off if this was me, but also as moh I feel like you have to go if you can. Also 3 hours isn't that long so you can always go back early if you need
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
@Mrs. Lion: same- if dad can be home, I'd go. At 11 months we were still nursing a bit, so that would be a little tough and I might try to go to the party later than planned.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I'm with PP in that it depends on how your LO is with daddy. If fine, I say go and let daddy take care of the baby. I know you'll be worried, but as the MOH, go! And trust in your hubby.
honeydew / 7303 posts
I would go. Especially as MOH. Daddy's were made for taking care of sick kids too!
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
Like you, I would be hesitant, but if my DH encouraged me to go, I would. Your little guy will be just fine with your DH and there's likely not much to be done for him other than let it run its course anyway. It's hard and you'll be nervous but I think you should go!
pomelo / 5000 posts
That's awesome that your DH feels he can handle it! I can't give a yes or no answer to this b/c I think it really depends on the child and parents. My daughter would have wanted me. But if the throwing up has stopped, she would have likely been lethargic enough to be fine with hanging out with DH. I'm no help!
pomegranate / 3032 posts
Flip the script, If it was DH and he was best man would you tell him to go? or would you want him to stay home? Although i know the circumstances aren't ideal, it sounds like your husband's got this and will be fine. Just make sure the house is stocked with pedialite and BRAT foods. Maybe touch base with your ped, or make sure hubs has the info/ins cards for the dr.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
If your DH thinks you should go and that he can handle it, you should go, since you're the MOH. I would feel so horrible going too, don't get me wrong! I'm assuming you can take him to the doctor today, and then DH will just have to manage? I'd maybe try to help him set stuff up as much as possible...
persimmon / 1445 posts
I voted no- but that would be my personal preference. You would know if your child would "need" mommy rather than daddy (mine has a strong mommy preference and it only gets stronger when she isn't feeling well). If your child would be ok with daddy, then go!
persimmon / 1111 posts
Is he ebf? Does he like bottles? If he's bottle fed and your husband feels like he's got it under control, I'd go. If I was worried about him eating, I wouldn't.
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
@Pollywog: @Silva: @FaithFertility: @Corduroy: I'm still nursing but my supply has been total crap, so we are supplementing with cow's milk. The plan was for DH to feed him from the freezer stash but I know my body is making antibodies to suit him right now.
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
@Chillybear: I am not sure, this is all new to us because it's the first time DS has been sick with more than a cold. DH would probably skip for a friend but not as best man. Since I am bfing, I feel like it's not the same thing.
nectarine / 2243 posts
@simplyfelicity: I'd say go for it. Worst case if LO gets worse, and DH gets freaked out, you can go home. Best case, you get a weekend away (probably checking his texts the whole weekend but thats OK) and DH will feel totally accomplished for getting LO through a sick weekend. Those are all huge parent WINS all the way around (especially if he's not home a lot)?
squash / 13208 posts
At 11 months I would go - DH is capable of taking care of him and you are the MOH
persimmon / 1111 posts
@simplyfelicity: What we would do is all drive to the party together and get a hotel nearby. I'd go to the party, but barely drink. I'd nurse before dinner and when I got home and if LO got worse, I'd head back to the hotel. It's an expensive solution, but that's what we'd do.
apricot / 485 posts
If he is 11 months and there are no serious concerns (like dehydration or something that would end up in the ER) then I would go. Babies and toddlers get sick a lot. Mine is sick every 2-3 weeks so I wouldn't skip something for a normal bug. Especially since you are the MOH.
FWIW, I don't know how great the antibodies thing works anyway. I BF mine until 26months and the only time I could tell antibodies helped her were when I had the stomach flu FIRST (threw up 3 days straight) and she only threw up twice after I had started improving and then was good. I know they say you give them all these antibodies but I don't think it stopped my LO from getting any illnesses except the one time I had the illness first. If I get the illness after her, I'm not making tons of antibodies until after she is already recovering. I think it's most important/beneficial for newborns whose immune system isn't developed yet and cannot create a response. Just my experience though! I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving for that reason.
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45 comments