When I tell people my friend actually was in the delivery room tracking my contractions, prepping me and telling me to push they all look at me weird.
"Wow, you let your friend see you like that?"
Honestly, I never thought about it as "oh she will see my vagina" but rather "oh i have someone I trust take care of me"
So I wonder, Would you let a friend (who's a nurse) deliver your baby?
86 votes
pear / 1586 posts
I'm planning on having my friend (who is a nurse) be there as another support person. She's very excited.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
I would not. I already regret one of my bridesmaids, I can't imagine having a friend (not matter the professional aspect of her job) help deliver my baby.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I don't know anyone who would be qualified but even if I did - I think just having DH there was enough.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
Absolutely. I think it would be great to have some one who was knowledgable and also someone I trusted to support me and look out for my interests.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I'm really close to the friend, I would. If we're just acquaintances, not so much.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
Yes I would, actually my doctor is someone who is someone who I knew outside of her work through a friend. I never once felt weird about her seeing my lady parts, I just like it's someone I know and trust.
persimmon / 1202 posts
I attended a close friend's first birth. I was NOT on the business end, just told her to breathe when she went 13+ seconds without. I, of course, am not a nurse. I would be fine with having a friend help deliver my baby, and I could see developing a friendship with my doula (we also both write novels for fun, and have a group of mutual friends - we just keep missing each other with writing meetings.)
clementine / 889 posts
My stepmom is a nurse. She and my dad have been married for 4 years, so I didn't know her growing up, but we've bonded a lot since she and my dad got together.
I was pretty anxious about making sure my wishes we respected once I got to the hospital and DH is terrified of hospitals, so from the very beginning I wanted my step mom there with me. She was with me (as was DH) every step of the way, like a doula would be. She actually held one leg, while a nurse held the other and DH was up by my head holding my hand while I was pushing and delivered DS. It was a wonderful experience and I'd do it again. If I had a really close friend who was a nurse, I think I would have done the same, as long as she would be able to compliment DH in supporting me and not take over.
persimmon / 1396 posts
I have been in the delivery room with my 2 best friends when they had their babies, and they will both be in there with me. It is a super special bond that we all have with each other and our children. My dr was a little surprised when I asked to have 4 ppl in the delivery room (DH, my mom, and my BFF's) but it is such a special time that we have all shared together. One of my BFF's is a nurse (not L&D) but if she was L&D I would totally trust her to deliver the baby.
persimmon / 1161 posts
My best friend whom I've known for over twenty years has been a labor and delivery nurse for about 7 years. I don't think I'd let her deliver or be present. Although I'm going to be spending a weekend with her and her husband (a paramedic) about a month before I'm due, so if there was an emergency I know I'm in good hands. I'm really private about medical stuff and only want my husband there.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
One of my friends is actually a L&D nurse at my hospital! So there's a pretty big chance she'll be there during her shift. She might be the baby nurse rather than my actual L&D nurse (I'm not sure how comfy we'd be with her checking to see how dilated I am!).
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I would. I had my friend's parents help me with my D&C and it was nice having people I knew during that time. My good friend's mom was my pre op nurse and my ex boyfriends mom was my post op nurse.
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
I'm not sure. Although one of the labor nurses at the hosp I'm delivering in is my mom's best friend's mom. So, I guess I know her - and I hope I get her! - but she's not my friend, so to speak.
apricot / 290 posts
I let my sister in law deliver Caroline! Not as awkward as you might think!
cherry / 156 posts
I'm considering inviting my closest girlfriend to be in the delivery room with DH and I. (Well, deciding what I think of it and then asking DH what he thinks if it's something I want.)
She's not a nurse but had her first child last year and will have her second a couple months before me. I know she would be incredibly supportive and fill in where ever I or DH needed her.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I've never been close enough to someone outside my family to feel comfortable enough to ever consider that, so no.
My mom was with me and I wanted my sister there, but she didn't make it in time cause I had a fast labor. But they are the closest people in my life.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
@mrstilly: That is so awesome. Your step mom, I'm sure you have an even greater bond now. Love that!
persimmon / 1379 posts
hells no.
well, i would be into letting them help me through the contractions, but i don't want anyone i know outside of that room to see me in...well, such a compromised position 
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
@woodentulip: haha! i understand what you mean, but in my case to have a stranger, or a friend... I felt more comfortable with a friend even if she was right down there with my vagina. haha.
She just saw it as another patient. Not a friend.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
@blushink: I thought it would be just because I had a d&c before and then my post op nurse checked my who ha. But luckily she didn't do that. Ive known her for a while because i went to middle and high school with one of her sons. She's a very sweet woman.... much nicer than her son.
grapefruit / 4056 posts
Well, since I work in NICU I am generally friendly with all the LDR nurses, but I figured they would be even more awesome then normal to make sure my baby would be okay.
I was with my friend for her delivery (as a support person), and it was never weird afterwards, and she has always said how valuable I was to her.
pomegranate / 3980 posts
I don't have any friends close enough to even consider it! Having my husband there is enough for me
nectarine / 2648 posts
I'm considering letting DH do it. We are both trained Physicians and delivery is part of what we're trained to do. I think it would make things special, but I want to make sure he isn't deterred from ever going back there 
grapefruit / 4584 posts
@yellowbeach: I think that would be awesome! I had DD#2 at the same hospital with the same OB less than two years after DD#1 in a very uncomplicated labor/birth...it was a quiet night at the hospital and they let DH assist in the final stages of the birth - they gloved and gowned him, and he got to "deliver" DD#2 once the OB had her head safely out. It was a really cool experience, and even though he is not medically trained and is generally grossed out by even a the blood from one of our kids' boo-boos, he is so glad that he did it!
As for the original question....if she were getting involved in the business end of things, it'd have to be a very close, longtime friend who was experienced in this area of medicine. Even to be a coach, I'd have to be sure it was someone I didn't feel like would think less of me after seeing me at my possible worst (being in pain/scared/stressed/exhausted) in labor.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
A close friemd yes. As my close friend she would know to keep it professional and let DH and I have our moments.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
My best friend is a nurse but not at the hospital o delievered at. She was in the delivery room the second time. She even held my leg. I'm happy I had her there.
@Rocker2014: ha. Same here.
apricot / 483 posts
@yellowbeach: DH is an EM resident and he delivered DS last summer, while the attending he had done a previous rotation with supervised. It was pretty cool.
ETA yes I would let a good friend/nurse be there and/or assist in the birth!
pear / 1965 posts
Totally hands down YES!!!!
Military friends are so close. We are like family. When you are military you don't typically have family around to support you. Your friends fill that void. Even when they come and go often with this lifestyle.
So for me it doesn't seem so foreign of an idea. I was there for my best friends birth of my Godson, she has only been in my life for 5 years. I held a leg and was there and saw everything. I feel it only brought us even closer. It was so beautiful and a amazing to be a part of. If my mom isn't here when I deliver this LO in December, I will have her in there with DH
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Someone I wasn't super close to but we'd all party together back in the day and she was always very nice randomly ended up as my OB for an appointment. I thought it would be awkward but it was so much better than my other appointments. I felt like I could have a real conversation with her. I made DH call her when I went into labor but she was OOT at a conference. I'm not sure if I wanted her to see all that but I mean that's her job so prob not that big a deal but she would have been a reassuring presence.
DH has delivered babies and asked to deliver #2 but was told it was his time to be a dad and not a dr. All he wanted to do was baby catch so I'm sure he'll ask again for #3.
pear / 1580 posts
I absolutely would. I had a friend who's basically family with me as a support person, and I'm so glad I did. So if I had a (close!) friend who was a delivery nurse, I absolutely 100% would want them to help delivery my baby.
nectarine / 2243 posts
In the event that something went wrong, I wouldn't want my friend there in a professional capacity. Its not an issue of my friend "seeing me like that". What if my RN friend disagreed with my OB or the other nurses on the floor? What if something went horribly wrong during the delivery? Friends and family can cloud professional judgement. I'd prefer trusted medical professionals who I only know in a professional capacity. My friend can visit after the baby is born. I have enough working medical knowledge to know that too many cooks in the kitchen can be a bad thing.
pomelo / 5509 posts
Like, deliver deliver? Actually guide the baby out and do all the medical stuff? Or just be at the birth for support? I don't think it would be possible to have a random nurse friend unaffiliated with the hospital actually do the delivery? But if I had a friend who was an L&D nurse who happened to work at the hospital where I was delivering I wouldn't mind having her there. I've been at a lot of births though (as a doula) including some for family and friends and I'm not really shy about that type of thing. If I had any close friends or family members who really wanted to be at my birth I'd let them!
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
My best friend used to be a home birth midwife, and if I was comfortable with a home birth id totally have her do it. I also let her practice Pap smears on me....so maybe I just have different boundaries with her?
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 1 |
| Posts | 1 | 3 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
43 comments