Hellobee Boards

If you think you'd be happy and fulfilled at home, I don't know why you wouldn't. You asked what others would do - and if I were you, I would stay home. While our earnings are not on par with yours, we're similarly not in debt and trading a later retirement and less travel for me being able to stay at home until baby goes to school. Good luck with the decision!

I wrestle with this a lot too. My problem is that if I SAH until our potential 2nd LO is in school, I'm now 5-7 years home and not sure that I have anything to offer to jump back into the workforce at that time. I'd be giving up a career and once kiddos are in school, I don't think I'd be able to get a similar career again.

There's no clear cut answer to this, but one thing is certain-you will never be able to get that time back so you should do what makes you the most happy.

I'm considering making a similar decision but it will impact us financially a lot more. There will be lots of sacrifices, including giving up what I value the most, travel. Ultimately though I would rather sacrifice dinners, and traveling and drinks to be able to share that time with the LO when he arrives.

If you want to do it, and are ok making a few sacrifices, I'd do it. You will be able to return to work later...

Would it be possible to work part-time? That way you could still earn some money and maintain your 'work experience' while still getting more time with your LO? Or possibly work from home a day or two a week?

I would not quit to be a SAHM. I would miss working too much. Maternity leave was ok for a bit, but there is no way I could go without work-type intellectual and adult stimulation on a long term basis. If you want to stay home and can afford to do so, I don't see why not. But, I would never assume you would be able to quickly rejoin the workforce.

I recently quit my job to be a SAHM. I was an attorney, made good money, had great benefits, etc.

I don't regret my decision one bit. Sure, we're missing out on $ and things are definitely tighter, financially, now that we're out my income. But I wake up every morning to my daughter's face and I look forward to everyday because it's just one more day I get to be with her. I love the fact that I get to spend 24/7 with her.

As long as we could afford it, I would have done it. For me, spending these days at home with my LO is priceless. She'll only be a baby and toddler once, and she's growing up so so fast. I'll never get this time back, and I'm so glad I'm here to spend every second with her!

Money aside, are you 100% sure you would be happy as a SAHM. I am very career oriented and the first few months I thought like you did, but I really believe now I couldn't stay home full time. Plus now that my daughter is a year old, I love that she is learning ALL kinds of new things in daycare.

The only thing I could change is that I would love to be able to work 20-30 hours, even if I had to make up the time at home when she went to bed.

I would, but since right now I make double what my husband makes, we can't afford it. He's finishing his residency and soon it will be a possibility, but I don't know how I will feel then. When I go back to work at the end of the month, I'm going back 4 days and taking a 30K paycut though to be home 1 extra day with my son.

@Andrea: I hear you...I really think kids need you more when they're in school and sometimes the school schedule makes it difficult to work a full day. There's drop off, pick up, trips, meetings, etc.

I really think anyone can be the care provider for an infant.

I read a story about a nurse who worked with exclusively terminally ill patients, and she would ask them one thing "what is something you regret the most?" and she said almost all of them wished they had spend more time with their families. This is rather ironic that I'm typing this to you, because for the last seven months I have struggled with my new SAHM status, because I frequently have to fight the urge to just get a job to get a job (I'm only about 85% of the way happy with my SAHM status). This is a hard decision to make, I wish you luck!

Coming from someone who has been a working mom and a SAHM, I agree with those that suggest you at least go back to work to try it out before quitting altogether. I went back to work after my first daughter was born and I honestly don't feel like I missed anything. She went to daycare and thrived well.

What are the things you think you will be missing? With daycare, I felt that it was just a safe and fun place for her to eat, play and nap while I was away. I still had quality time with her every single evening... then there's mornings and all weekends too.

What would your work schedule be like? I think that's something that needs to be considered too. Your finances actually seem like a non-issue since you guys can afford to be on one income. Being a working mom doesn't have to mean you'll miss out on a lot. But again, I guess it also depends on your work demands.

Oh and I agree with @Andrea and the others... My eldest is gearing up for Kindergarten next year. We've been touring schools... It's a whole other world when they go to school. All the infant stuff (sorry if this sounds harsh) is really almost petty when compared to the needs of a child in school, so also consider going back to work for now and cutting back on hours or staying home then instead.

For me personally, I couldn't do it. But, I've always known that I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. Being a working mom will make me a better mom and for that reason alone; I wouldn't be able to give up my career, let alone the financial undertaking.

I think if you and your husband can work it out financially, emotionally, there's no reason for you not to be a SAHM if that's what you and your family want!

I'm in a similar situation. I am not crazy about my job but I make good money and I can't imagine not being able to travel. Of course, once LO arrives this all may change. I'm hoping to work part time. No way I can work full time once she's here, but even so cutting my salary in half is scary enough!

i guess just enjoy your maternity leave and make a decision at the end of it?

I agree with @Andrea @looch & @thehistoryofus. I think it's more important to be accessible when your kids are older, and need more guidance. I feel that if i took that time off now, I'd be sacrificing that time when they're older. I work in an industry that once you're out of it, it's hard to get back in. I also think (and my kid's not born yet, so I'm not positive) that I wouldn't really enjoy being home all the time.

My former boss was a WOHM and her husband passed away unexpectedly. She told me the thing that she was most grateful for was that she stayed in the workplace - she wasn't sure how she would provide for her daughters if she hadn't kept working all those years and had a solid career and good salary.

Absolutely! If we could still maintain our lifestyle with only DH working, I would stay home in a heartbeat.

I'm torn. 140k is a big chunk of income to take away. If we were accustomed to living with both salaries, I wouldn't leave. However, you only get to raise your children once--so whatever makes you happiest. I would probably be happy making that much, if the hours weren't outrageous.

When I first had Lala, I was pretty sure I would have preferred staying at home with her. I felt that way for the first six months (even after I returned to work)... but after that, I was SO glad I stuck to my guns and went back. Not only because I'm the primary bread winner in our family (though less so now) but also for personal fulfillment. I would have been one grumpy lady!

Meanwhile, Mr. Jacks absolutely loved being a stay at home parent!

FWIW: with 2 kids I have only missed one first... and that was first giggle for M. She obliged me by replicating it as soon as I got home. Kids wait for their mamas before they do the cool stuff!

I am not the primary breadwinner, but I have a high salary/bonus compensation, AWESOME 401K match, combined with a free company car that I'm allowed to use for personal use and a free gas card. With everything rolled up, my annual income statement from my company is in the 6 figures.

HOWEVER, my job is pretty stressful, fast-paced and busy, and I truly earn every dollar. So when I read your story, I'm sure that you're not making that much money without working really REALLY hard for it. If you would have asked this question to me when I made like $40K a year in my early 20s, I would be like "You are nuts! That's a ton of money!" But now I fully appreciate that high salaries come with VERY HIGH work responsibility. They don't give it up for free.

I have considered the same thing, and to a lot of people, they may think it would be nutty to leave such a great-paying job, but at the end of the day, higher paying jobs usually require a higher level of work/effort/stress and so I would weigh that against the money that you're making to make a decision. To me, it's about more than the money, it's about quality of life for my LO when I'm running around totally stressed and exhausted. I haven't decided what my path will be, but I am definitely seriously considering staying home for a while or finding a job that is lower stress/lower pay. It would be different if we couldn't live off of DH's salary, but we are fortunate that he is the breadwinner by far, so we'd be totally fine. But it's still a very tough call, and I feel you. Good luck with whatever you decide:)