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I can't even imagine how hard this must be. However I would do my best to not quit if it were me, for the reasons you mentioned. I would be afraid that I would come to resent LO and DH even for me not finishing. I went back to school temporarily a few years ago and while I'm glad I quit (it was to switch career fields, I got a new job in my current field and discovered it was just my old job I hated and I didn't really end up wanting to work in the new field), it really burns me up paying back a loan for that short time. If you took out a loan, there's that to consider.

Is it possible to reduce your course load for now? Get child care assistance like a nanny or somebody to watch LO while you study? (I know this doesn't help with getting rest though). While I do think your sanity and health is important, I just hate the idea of having gone so far and not finishing.

Can you transfer to an online program where you can take a break and pick up later so you're not tied to one location? (Not sure how grad programs work but something tells me this isn't possible, thought it was worth mentioning though). CN you talk to your advisor and see what they think?

Good luck and I hope you feel better no matter what you decide! Not an easy decision by far.

Is there anyone who can help you take care of your LO in the evenings? Family, friends? Even a day or 2 a week to give you a break? What about hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours a few nights a week? Or an overnight babysitting/nanny service?
My LO was colicky, and I know how stressful it is. Some days you do feel like you are slowing losing your mind, and I was worried all the time that it would.never.end. It felt like it would never end.
Things do get so much better once the colic eases up, and they start sleeping better. Things got dramatically better for us after 12 weeks, which I think is fairly common.

Questions:

- If you quit school now (as in like, next week like you mention) will you automatically fail all your present courses?

- How necessary is this degree to your reasonably available career paths with your undergrad and/or work experience? (I understand you need one for your exact planned path, but are there similar positions in that same field that wouldn’t require the degree?)

- Can youtemporarily reduce your work hours in order to spend more time on school?

- When you say you’ll be done at the end of this year; do you may this May, or December?

- Could you return to school in your new location, when your LO is a little older?

Honestly, since work and school is important to you and you are so close to the end, I would see if you can get help somewhere and try to push through.

Bless your heart. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.

Is there any way you can hire a night nurse even one night a week? That way you can get sleep at least one night a week. Many night nurses are fantastic sleep training resources, which could also help get LO to sleep longer at night (helping in the long run).

You mentioned DH is home on weekends. Does he take over on weekend and let you catch up on sleep? Are there things DH could do while he's home to make things easier on you during the week? Are you able to catch up on homework while DH is home?

My husband travels a week at a time, and before he leaves he helps me get ready. We make sure all the laundry is done, there is food in the fridge (staples at a meal or two), errands have been run, etc. That way I'm not taking care of house stuff on top of taking care of LO, work, etc.

As much as I love and support those who choose to be SAHM's, I think you should stick it out. You can always take a couple of years off AFTER you finish this degree, and then have it under your belt when you are ready to return to work someday.

I think a night nanny would be a worthwhile investment to get you through these next couple of tough months.

I would definitely look at finishing school. If you are really that far through your program, very few of your credits will transfer. I started grad school at Purdue and switched to NCSU...they only took 6 credits. Most schools took 3! NOBODY took more than 6 credits. Two measly classes! I can't imagine wasting all that time, energy, and money.

Can you plow through school on, say, Saturdays? I know lots of people who work full time, go to grad school, and have kids and they each take a day to focus on school so they can get done. Your DH really needs to give you a day to catch up and everything.

You are ALMOST DONE. You're talking, what, 2, 3 classes, including the one you're in? You will be so grateful when you finish and I think it will get easier once your baby has a few more months under his/her belt. Is the class you are in right now particularly difficult and will the next one maybe not be so hard? I got my grad degree in engineering and they are hit and miss on difficulty levels--sometimes you can pick one that is definitely less work! Especially so far into your degree--do you have an elective you can use up on a fluffier class? I'd ask around, find other students on Facebook and seek course recommendations for something that has a more manageable workload.

Hire help on a weekend or overnight. I think it would be worth it in the long run in order to have the security to be able to provide for your family. Yes, it's not cheap, but it's worth it just for a few months. The sacrifice is so short--just the end of the year!

The fact that you've already done so much work and have planned your career around the degree makes me reluctant to advise quitting. I think your decision should really depend on your plans for the future. How committed do you feel to your specific career path? (i.e. Do you really love what you do?) How would you feel about starting over on your degree if you could find a program in your new location when your kids were older? Would it be financially feasible for you guys to hire help now, taking into account that the added expense now will increase your earning potential in the future? I'm really sorry that you're in the position of making such a tough choice! If this had happened to me I might have quit grad school... But a large part of that would have been because I wasn't sure that it was very important to me and my career plans anymore. If you really care about what you're working on, I would try to find a way to stick it out even though it seems impossible right now. If you're in a phd program I would encourage you to finish even more strongly! In that case, the amount of time you've invested is huge relative to what you have remaining.

Finish your degree. I never finish college and now with my dh's health going down hill and us ttc its just not an option till my mom moves to town. I regret quitting & wish I would have pushed through. I would have my degree by now & be working in my ideal profession had I not dropped out. Looking back I could have done it if I would have just asked for help & rearranged my schedule.

It's not the same at all, but I'm in law school right now, and I started when X was just shy of 7 months. When I got accepted to school and X was 3.5 months, I couldn't fathom how it would work, but I just trusted things, and it did work. There's a huge difference between 10 weeks and 5, 6...9 months. I think everything before 3 months is sooooo hard, (and I didn't have a colicky baby like you-- you're my hero!) but in a few months, when things are easier, I think you're going to be kicking yourself and wishing you had powered through.

Keep in mind, colic usually lasts to what, 3 or 4 months? You're almost done! I'd give it at least another month to see if the colic ends and things improve.

You can do it, but it does sound like you need help. An overnight doula may be an option too? You mentioned needing another room ... why? The overnight nanny or doula can crash on the couch. (Our nanny used to nap on the couch when X napped. I didn't mind.) Another option-- once the reflux improves and you can start to work on establishing better sleep patterns, consider hiring a sleep coach. It's not cheap, but if a good sleep coach can come out and help you encourage baby to sleep better or help you sleep train (and I assume you don't have time to read books, or figure out how to improve sleep or sleep train on your own) then I think once you get more sleep, things will greatly improve.

@coruscations: I worked full time while finishing my master's degree (also full time). I didn't have any children, and I still know exactly what you mean when you say the exhaustion feels like dying (then again, I also had an as-yet undiagnosed B12 deficiency).

In an ideal world you would power through the last bit and emerge victorious with your degree, but it sounds like it might not be physically possible under the circumstances. It also sounds like you're not so much looking for a pep talk as permission to do what you seem to have made your mind up to do.

Can you make it through your courses and then take a leave of absence from your studies? That would allow you to regroup, rest up a bit, and return to face your comprehensive exam and thesis once your LO is a little older. Or maybe your priorities would change and you'll realize you're not as attached to getting the degree. You might just need some time to let go and reprioritize.

Whatever you choose, please don't beat yourself up over it. It's good to get different perspectives, but only you can judge what you need to take care of yourself now and in the long-term. And if it's sleep and sanity now, that doesn't mean the degree or career can't happen--whether as you envisioned them or in a different form--later on. And time will dull any regrets you might possibly have one way or another. Do what feels right to you. The rest will fall into place.

I've been where you're at. Until I had my second child last March, I was working full-time, working on my grad degree and taking of my toddler. My husband also had a very demanding job, which meant I ended up doing a lot of the childcare and home care. I did that for a year while pregnant and only quit my job once I had my second child. Now, I'm about 1.5 semesters away from finishing my Master's.

I totally understand what you"re going through. It's exhausting; it's frustrating; it's nervewracking, trying to get everything done and feeling like you'e failing in every area. But I promise it gets better. It sounds like, if you can finish out this semester, you have the rest of the year to complete your other two requirements. Trust me, your baby is going to start sleeping better before the end of the year, you will get more sleep, and you will be able to function again. It seems overwhelming right now, but your life is going to change drastically in the next 10 months, in a lot of really positive ways.

Truthfully, my motivation for finishing my degree is often my kids. I want them to be proud of me and I want to be an example for them of pushing through, even when life becomes overwhelming. I want them to complete their degrees someday; I want them to see what I've accomplished and think, "If my mom could do it, so can I." Sometimes I feel so guilty that I don't get to spend as much time with my kids as I want because I have homework, or I feel like I constantly have to rush through our day so I have enough time to complete everything, but it really is a finite period of time (which is almost over!). They'll never remember those moments I had to choose schoolwork over playing with them, but for the rest of their lives they'll know how hard I worked to complete my degree and provide for them.

@coruscations: I wish I could give you a big hug. I know it is so, so hard right now.

I'm home with my kids right now while I finish up my degree, and I still feel very guilty sometimes for being in school while they're so young. But I remind myself every day that they will not remember these days when they get older. However, they would definitely remember if I tried to complete my degree when they were older (say 8 or 10) and their futures would definitely be affected if I didn't complete my degree and give myself a chance to have a better career at some point in the future. Everything I do, I'm doing to make their lives better and to be a better example for them.

@blackbird: Ah, that's a cute story. It sounds like your dad was really supportive of your mom!

If there's ever a good time to accrue some CC debt, it's now. I am a sahm and I also had a baby w reflux and colic. It was all I could so to get through the day, and my DH works very reasonable hours and was home every night. Get a professional night nanny. Consider it an investment in your health and your family's future. Hopefully you will finish your degree and it will get you a well-paying job that will allow you to pay all your debts.

@Honeybee: I have to agree too. Part of what keeps me focused is that I'm doing this for X. So that he knows how important it is for moms and dads to be as well educated as they want, that all things worth having take hard work. And I remember that X is not going to remember missed bedtimes or when I wasn't there for dinner. He will remember a few years later though. So if my plan is to go back to school, better now than later. Remembering my dad helps-- He got his college degree when I was 9. I remember days when my dad was wiped out from pulling an all-nighter studying or writing a paper and then having to go to work the next day. On one hand it was nice to have the example of seeing him working hard-- on the other hand, it would've been nice if my dad had been around more.

OP, I know it's terribly hard on you, but it is truly better for LO if you stick it out. And you're more likely to finish if you don't stop. It sounds like you're in a very difficult position, and in the end, I think you should do what your heart tells you too. But if you're truly uncertain, I'd say try some of the things we're saying-- wait out this hard, hard pre-3/4 months phase, and get help.

Agreed that if it is even remotely possible, you should finish.

The night nanny idea is genius.