Hellobee Boards

For the ones who took the time to RSVP but could not show due to extenuating circumstances, sure ... to the rest who were invited but could not show you the decent courtesy of an RSVP? - NO.

I have planned spa parties for DD and parties at horse ranches for both my kids and have had similar issues arise where some parents will RSVP and their child will be unable to show (due to illness, poor behavior, a car accident, etc.) AND THEN other families don't take the time to respond so I have to "hunt" them for a final count. In the end, if a child misses my kids' (either DD or DS) party after RSVP-ing, he or she will receive a goody bag and extra treats (cupcake, treats, etc) from the party. If someone did not RSVP and I had to hunt them down for a definitive "no," while I feel bad, their child does not receive what they would for having attended. I feel bad but c'est la vie. Manners are important to me ...

@MLE81: I hadn't even thought of that. I am an educator as well; however, my DD is in upper elementary (nearly 11). When OP wrote the bags would be placed in mailboxes to go home, I "assumed" the other students would be oblivious to the fact. Whoops! I also do not know the age of OP's DS at this time. Perhaps if the gift bags/treats were given out of school/in private? Otherwise, definitely no. Thank you for bringing that to my attention as I was SOOOO focused on party protocol and manners.

Normally I wouldn’t but we had a situation at my DD’s party. One boy was invited but never rsvp’d and didn’t show up, so I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t have his parents’ direct contact info, so I didn’t even know if the paper invite made it home. The week after the party, my DD came home from school with a gift from the boy, but there was no explanation. So I sent the goodie bag and put it in another shopping bag and told DD to give it to him before or after school and not show it to other kids. I finally ran into the dad a few weeks later and he explained that they had planned to come but their son had gotten into big trouble the day before and so they couldn’t let him go to the party. It was complicated, but I felt like we couldn’t let the gift go unacknowledged.

@erinbaderin: Don't take it seriously! I just finished hosting DS' birthday party too, kids (6-7 year olds!) were all anxious grabbing at the favors, which I thoughtfully got these puzzle books (with jokes and cross words and what not) from Highlights, and I put a pencil with each of them. I even had DS drew a simple bowling image (we had a bowling party), made them small and into little tags and tied them on the books (I am a graphic designer by trade so it takes me no time... ok an hour or two ). Very tasteful, useful, educational and "thoughtful" one would think. And seemingly everyone wanted them.

They all headed to the arcade game section afterwards for a few games before pick up. DH reported that my carefully crafted favors were left everywhere as kids probably put them down as they played the games and forgot to pick them up. They probably completely forgot about them as they walked out with their parents. So honestly, don't bother, it is somehow human nature that our barbaric side is we grab at "free stuff" instinctively. It is survival instinct

And may I say, how annoying people don't RSVP, and people who decided they just don't come when they RSVP'd Yes?! Your case was fine and excusable that they texted you and the kids were sick. My party 4 of them didn't show up, 3 of them didn't bother to reach out to me before or after the party! I still don't know what happened to them or their kids. The funny thing is, 2 out of these 3 kids went to a birthday party the day BEFORE our party, and we saw them at that other party.

And thankfully all 26 of my guests RSVP'd (I did have to follow up with a handful of them). How could 15 out of 30 of your guests didn't RSVP?! Have they never hosted a party before I wonder? I never understand that. Karma will get them when they finally hosts lol