DD has recently started hitting me. When she does I tell her that hitting isn't nice and put her in a time out. Last night while eating dinner, she would swing her arm in my direction in a fake hit. I'm not sure how to handle it. Would you discipline like a real hit? I again told her that hitting isn't nice and we don't hit people. But I guess I don't feel like it deserves a time out since she didn't actually hit.
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Disclaimer: I have not personally dealt with this yet! But when I have seen kids do this, it seems like they're angry and want to get out that aggression, but they know that hitting is unacceptable. Obviously pretending to hit really isn't nice either, but I don't think it should have the same consequence since at least they are restraining them self somewhat. I think I would correct it and encourage them to use their words to tell me why they're angry, or maybe even give them a pillow and tell them they can hit that if we're angry, but that we don't hit people or even pretend that we're going to hit people.
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I do discipline almost the same . . . it generally goes . . . being told (1) hands are not for hitting, (2) we use gentle touches, and (3) that it's okay to be angry or upset, but that it's not okay to hit.
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Agree with @MsLipGloss: . Even if she's pretend hitting if she swings again after I told her no still time out. But I guess I have two degrees of time out. First degree is in the corner and second degree is in her room.
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We still discipline . We say "hands are not for hitting" and telling him the correct use of hands. Ex: hands are for high fives!
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@BeachMama: DD did this to us, we took her hand and said no hitting its not nice. What would you like. She cried and then eventually told us what she wanted.
When she kept doing it we put her in time out. You have to just keep at it. Good Luck
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I usually still discipline but also acknowledge that they knew they shouldn't hit and tried really hard not to but that it still isn't a kind way to handle the situation.
I don't know how old she is but sometimes role playing can help, but for that I would wait until a different time when she is settled and happy.
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@Cole: I like that. I will try to remember to also acknowledge that she tried not to hit.
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The thing is, is that she's not upset when she's doing it. She's smiling and laughing. I think she's playing, and testing me. I think I'll continue to tell her that hitting isn't nice, we don't hit, etc (though it doesn't seem to have an effect). I'll also probably leave the room when she does it.
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@BeachMama: Hmmm okay, so it's more like she thinks it's funny or a game or something. Yeah, I think you're right on with continuing to tell her hitting isn't nice and leaving the room - if she stops getting any attention or playtime when she does it, hopefully that brings it to a stop!
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He swats at me sometimes. I don't give him a time out like I do with real hitting but I tell him that it hurts my feelings and even pretend hitting isn't nice. He says sorry mama.
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@BeachMama: I haven't had to deal with this yet either (and my other boys didn't really go through it [or if they did I missed it!]) but if it's like a game, I think I would do what you're doing. Let them know it's not nice and then leave/ignore the behaviour.
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11 comments