I'm having a hard time figuring out how to approach DH about this and hope that getting my thoughts written down and some help from all of you will help me out.

First, I start with the fact that my husband is a wonderful man who wants to be a great Dad. He's a gigantic softie and cries at movies He loves our little girl so much and takes a great amount of joy out of her and her antics.

That said, I think he's got an anger problem. And we've talked about it plenty of times. For example, he was struggling while trying to hang something in the garage and it wasn't going well, so the next thing I hear is the banging and crashing of him throwing things around in the garage. He then comes stomping through the house and at this point, I ignore him.

When my mom was here, he thought the garage door opener broke (because he screwed it up) and starting screaming goddammit at the top of his lungs. While my mom, child and I were in the driveway waiting for him to get in the car. He later apologized and said he needs to not overreact so much. Duh.

Yesterday, he was home with DD all day because she was sick and I had to work. She was either happy while watching TV or fighting him on everything else. I think we've all had those days and they're long and exhausting. I came home and took over - playing with her, etc. He laid down on the couch. DD and I were playing and she wanted him to play too. So, I saw her running to him (he was dozing) and I called out "Look out, Daddy" because he has a crazy startle reflex when he's sleeping. He heard me, but still was crazy startled, and looked at DD with a rage face, raised his voice and said, "THAT IS NOT OK!" He then stormed upstairs (after passing me and saying, "I know you tried to warn me) and left me to comfort DD, who was crying hysterically because he got so angry with her for wanting him to play. Now, he had had a LOONNNGG day with her and I'm sure we all know what it's like to be at the end of our rope with our kids. So I'm trying to decide if I just need to extend a bit of grace here (like I want him to so often do for her) or confront him.

I'm tired of trying to explain my husband's behavior to an almost three year old. I want him to grow the F up and act like an adult. I shouldn't have to do this.

This is not everyday. I do see him trying. The problem is that in his household growing up, his Dad was an angry person. He learned it from his dad. He also knows this and has expressed time and again to me that he doesn't want that kind of relationship with our LO. So why does he keep doing this crap?

I'm ready to mention going to a counselor to get our parenting styles to be more complimentary. He wants to correct every tiny thing she does "wrong" whereas I'm fine letting her screw stuff up. He wants her to do something the first time he tells her and I think that you have to know your audience (a 2 year old) and accept that sometimes you need to try different things to get her to comply.

Has anyone else had this kind of conflict? Maybe not anger, per se, but a conflict in styles? What did you do?