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Not raise an asshole

@blackbird: haha, that's my #1 goal, too.

Less technology use (by me) for sure, which is a work in progress as I'm kind of a workaholic. I was totally taken aback the other day when LO had my phone and I couldn't see where she left it. I asked her where mama's phone was and got a blank stare. I said "where?" and pretended to send a text on my palm and she said "ohh!" and walked me right over to my phone. really a gut check that I'm clearly using my phone too much while she is around.

Baby is not here yet, but this is a good thing to think about. My current ones are:

*try not to be anxious, and not obsess over little things!
*model kindness
*instill a love of being outside by enjoying the great nature we have around here

I'm sure they'll change when baby is here, but that's what I've got now.

I just want my daughter to be happy, confident, and kind.

@Silva: thanks! I hope so. I get so anxious so easily, and I know that I could very easily obsess over everything, trying to do everything "exactly right." But I need to remember that honestly, baby won't know the difference, and the best I can do is my best. At least, that's the hope

@MamaBehr: LOL, I believe that's why my mother sent me to kindergarden early. Apparently, I was an extra-trying preschooler

Not to raise a spoiled brat :\

I really want our kids to be kind and helpful, and not expect things to be giving to them without cause.

@Silva: I think about this often! It sounds cheesy, but I try to remind myself when I'm making decisions that essentially everything I do is modeling or teaching my son something. With that being said, I thought I'd be a lot more uptight about being on my phone or computer when he is up but after thinking about it often, I am more relaxed. Phones are just becoming a part of life, and I think it's a double edged sword -- today I pulled it up with him while we were playing because I didn't know what noise a baboon made, we played music on it, and I read an article or two. I don't think anything of reading while he plays, or cleaning, etc. and it doesn't compute (in my mind) to cast technology as 'the evil' when it is a big part of our everyday life. With that being said, we're planning on no screen time until 2 and rarely have the TV on when he's awake.

Anyways, our parenting goals are to raise someone who feels comfortable and supported expressing his feelings, exploring his passions, and loves to learn. We hope he is kind, and that he's the type of kid who will stand up and say something is wrong when everyone else is tittering or staying silent. Being thoughtful and empathetic is a goal for myself and I hope I can encourage those traits to be a goal he has for himself too!

I know you've written elsewhere about rhythm, and I've read some about it, I'd be curious to hear more about it if you have the time. I don't feel like I understand the concept, to be honest.

@blackbird: totally agree!

I want my children to be decent, compassionate and caring adults.

To be pretty laid back and not freak out over every little thing. My sister is super relaxed and flexible and because of that her 7 month old is super relaxed.

@Silva: I hear what you're saying. I grew up playing outside mostly and have strong memories of "projects" I worked on in elementary school like a stuffed animal hospital and a tree fort but at the same time, I have just as fond memories of playing computer games. I think technology has become sort of a whipping boy/guilty pleasure in parenting circles -- there were self centered little jerks before the ipad existed, too. But I know what you mean.

Thanks for elaborating on rhythm! That makes sense to me. I struggle between structure and unstructure, sometimes, the idea of a 'soup night' sounds both appealing and limiting to me. But I agree wholeheartedly on traditions and seasons!

I don't think being intentional sounds controlling at all. I feel like most people I interact with tease me about reading parenting books or thinking about things like this, which doesn't make sense to me. I'm not looking for answers or a how-to! People spend hours planning trips, price comparing on shoes, and other more mundane things so I don't know why it's shunned to research parenting styles and decisions. I'd rather be intentional now in the hopes of avoiding conflict later, as well