The post about asking for college donations instead of presents made me think of this! LO's first birthday is coming up and it's the week before Christmas. I'm anticipating lots of gifts as she's the only grandchild on either side right now. We are having a small family-only birthday party after Christmas.

So here's my question: I don't want to ask for money (I agree that's tacky!) but is it weird to say in a nice, polite way that if they'd rather donate to a charity of their choice instead of giving a birthday gift, that would be okay? I would never tell anyone not to bring a gift, but LO is only one and she doesn't need too much stuff right now. Is it rude to suggest donating as an alternative, if they'd prefer that? I should add that we're not doing a formal invite, just sending an email to family members, so if we do this, it won't be like...engraved in fancy script on an invitation.