My DD will be 3 in a couple months. We've really been pretty lucky during the 2s in regards to her behavior and the "terrible twos" (18-24 months was MUCH worse). Shes generally fairly laid back, although VERY independent and strong-willed (ie. stubborn as hell), and not super prone to tantruming. She is pretty logical and understands when we explain to her an action and it's consequence (like "If you hit the cat again, I will give you a time out. Do you want one? No? Then dont hit the cat.") and stops the behavior. I feel like it gives her a choice, I guess? I dunno. Works for us most of the time. Or when she is mad because we have to stop playing or leave a toy behind, she is pretty receptive to just explaining that the toy will be here and we can play with it later.

Well... yeah, the last week or two has been a mess. Tantrums all day, every day. She has stopped listening to the point of being deliberately defiant. I will ask her to do something and she will stare me in the face and keep doing it until I punish her. She has started sneaking around and doing things she was told not to do. She has become very destructive with her toys and other things around our house. She rips things up, kicks them, throws them, steps on them, and draws all over them.

Im not sure whats up. I dont know if it's just all the excitement from the holidays (the destructive thing has been going on for a while, the tantrum thing is recent) and getting less sleep. If she's mad at me because Im no longer a SAHM and I had a lot of school commitments and was not home a lot over the past couple months. Or if this is just the start of the torrential threes.

What advice can you moms of older ones offer here? Books I should maybe check out? Is this just another phase we have to ride out? I feel a little lost here.