So my 6 week old son is a great sleeper. He does about 1hr or 90 min of awake time, meaning he's sleeping about 5 times a day (can you call them naps yet at this age??), sometimes for 30 min, sometimes for up to 3 hrs (that's becoming more rare!). He goes down for the night 9ish, usually sleeps til at least 2am and has gone til 4am a couple of times. The usually sleeps til 6 or so, eats and goes back down.
ANYWAY - a lot of his sleeps are on me still, he needs to be rocked/soothed to sleep, and I'm lucky if I can get him down in his bassinet for 2 sleeps during the day. At night he's fine in the bassinet but I basically nurse/rock him to sleep., and if he's not asleep enough when I put him down he cries and escalates quickly.
So my question is, am I setting up bad habits? Should I start letting him fuss/cry himself to sleep? Is it too early? Will he learn/remember anything about this? Am I setting myself up for failure but not putting him down awake but drowsy from the beginning? My mom is visiting right now and we fight about this almost every day. She thinks I should let him put himself to sleep. (She has also given him a soother 4 times even though I've told her I don't want him to have one/am not ready to introduce one yet, but that's another post for another day). Any advice?
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We have E put herself to sleep a lot but she has a pacifier so that really helps. I do know if I put E back down and she hasn't burped well enough she gets upset pretty quick. Also, we use a little white noise from an app on our phones to help her stay calm until she can get into a deeper sleep. Do you swaddle? I know most people do but we also found E didn't like it and that was cause for a lot of her fussing. Maybe just try a few different things to get him to sleep on his own here and there.
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With a 6 week old baby, I think you should just go with what you feel is the right thing for you and the baby! Most research recommends against any type of sleep training/crying it out type of thing in very young babies, but more importantly, it's your baby and you get to decide what you want to do sleep wise. You don't have to sleep train, you don't have to set baby down awake but drowsy, you can have baby nap in a carrier or bassinette, or on you so you can soak wee baby goodness in! There is a million things out there that support a million different ways of getting baby to sleep - you just need to find what works best for you and your baby and ignore the rest. There's research that says that the awake but drowsy thing was made up by sleep trainers and isn't supported by data, and there's research that contradicts that as well. I don't really believe anything is true anymore, but my point is there's definitely parenting philosophies that strongly support what you're doing. So own it! Keep doing what works if it works for you! If it doesn't work anymore worry about it then! There's nothing that can't be undone. And re: pacis, grrrrrrr! She needs to respect your boundaries.
I think my mom disagrees with me on every aspect of my parenting so far. It used to freak me out when she was a baby that I was doing it wrong, but now I am more willing to chalk it up to different personalities (and thus parenting styles) between me and my mom, and neither way is objectively best - babies are extremely adaptable - but that I need to parent the way that I want to parent.
So anyway, you go girl! Keep doing what you're doing if it's working well for you and baby!
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T is 9 weeks and I nurse him to sleep (or til he's sleepy. Sometimes it doesn't work). Everyone keeps telling me I'm setting up bad habits but I don't think so. He's so calm and relaxed for naps when he's nursed or rocked to sleep versus fussy and anxious when he's not.
It's easier on me really. I'd rather nurse him to sleep every time than try and calm a fussy baby enough for him to go to sleep. I'll continue to do it until necessary! Right now though he's definitely too young to try any kind of fussing it out. If it's a bad sleep habit, we'll break it when he's old enough to handle it. But right now I don't mind doing it and he loves it!
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Ive heard not to.worry about setting up habits until 12 weeks. Our ped said its all survival till then!
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@Danizaur: haha I wish my 6 week old would nurse to sleep!! He's always wide awake after eating!
DS is 6 weeks old too and I think I've read in quite a few places that you can't spoil a baby for the first 3 months. Maybe try getting him to sleep on his own some of the time so he gets used to it, but I don't think it's the end of the world! We have DS in a rock n' play so we put him in there awake and rock that a bit. I do find that a tight swaddle/loud white noise when he is tired put him right to sleep!
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At 6 weeks I think you should do whatever works and feels right to you. Your mom should back off. I pretty much agree with everything @Rockies11: said-- there is no best way, only the best way for YOU.
I nursed or rock C to sleep until it stopped working around 3.5 months. Then we did have to do some CIO since she would wake up and freak out as soon as we tried putting her down. Even that felt too young to me but we didn't have a lot of options.
And re: the paci, I don't think there is anything wrong with it and it could help baby sooth himself to sleep, but it never worked for my LO. She just hated it and only wanted my boob as a paci. My friend's baby loved it and would sooth himself to sleep from a very young age with the paci, but now she is starting to worry about how to wean from it eventually. Either way is fine.
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I wouldn't worry too much at 6w. I had a great sleeper from the beginning too but I always nursed to sleep for naps and bedtime. After she fell asleep, I'd slowly stand up and rock her while I counted to 120 and then gently put her in the crib. Sigh. I was worried I was setting up bad habits too. When she was 5 months I napped trained so she could go down awake in her crib and it only took a week to fully train her. She continued nursing to sleep until about 7 months, stopped on her own, and now at 8 months will go to her crib awake at bedtime and fall asleep without a peep. I tried some sleep training earlier but she just wasn't having any of it. I think at 6w you just have to do whatever works for you!
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Thank you for all the replies, you've made me feel much better! I'm not sure why I'm against the pacifier or at least putting off introducing it - i know my sister had a lot of trouble with both her daughters and the paci falling out in the night - she was getting up more at 6 months to reinsert if for her kids than she had been in the newborn phase! I guess I'm just trying to avoid that. But then, people say if he starts sucking his thumb you can't take that away from them! So, basically, who the hell knows.
I think for now i'll just keep doing what I'm doing! Last night he slept 9:30-5am
Clearly I don't want to mess with that!!!
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@ScarletBegonia: Do what works, right now. We thought we were nailing it around that age, he went down drowsy but awake and then it all changed. You just never know. I honestly dont think habits start until way later. Tell your Mom to stuff it.
Clearly I don't want to mess with that!!!
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