-
@LML: I appreciate you putting yourself out there, it is certainly not easy. The core of what I was trying to address is that having a disabled baby is different than having a disabled adult. the struggles that families have change. It's not about not loving a child or having a ruined life. I was 8 when my brother was born and I can not be part of an honest and open discussion if I gloss over the hardships it has caused over the last 32 years. We almost lost him this fall and to see my parents face that was more devastating than the last 32 years combined and multiplied by infinity.
I've put a lot out there on this thread and I feel like I am at the end of what I feel comfortable sharing.
-
@looch: It wasn't your story or comments that bothered me specifically. I appreciate your perspective and agree that there definitely need to be more and better supports in place for adults with disabilities.
-
@Zbug:
-
@LML: Thank you for sharing your story
-
This has been such an interesting and eye opening thread.
If anyone is interested I've just discovered an awesome podcast called Only Human - I listened to an episode this morning focusing on an OB GYN who was a devout born again protestant and didn't perform abortions on the basis of his religious values for the first 10 years of his career, and how his opinion and religious reflection on the subject has changed in the last 10 years. It is absolutely fascinating and touches on (and delves into) a lot of the issues raised in this thread, including late term abortion and TFMR, and the states which have only 1 or 2 centres which will perform safe late term terminations. There is some audio in the podcast which could be triggering but they do a good job of alerting you to it and it can be skipped.Check it out:
http://www.wnyc.org/story/safe-abortion-south/ -
@LML: And since you used some of the language I used in my response, I wanted to let you know where I was coming from. If I personally offended you, or if my intentions were muddled, I do apologize, as that wasn't my aim.
While I am not a parent to a child with special needs, I do have children and adults of all abilities in my life; students, friends and family. Most of my professional experience in special education has revolved around children and teens with severe cognitive delays and developmental disabilities. There is no doubt each and every one of them bestow heaps of joy, inspiration and laughter upon all those lucky enough to know and adore them - including me. The focus of what I was trying to say is that many of the parents I've grown close to have expressed feeling an expectation or pressure to be perpetually inspirational (that's where my analogy of the after school special came in). They have admitted to feeling that they have to constantly play up a role of "chosen parent" on a special path, and fear admitting to the bad days, the guilt, the safety concerns, the heartache. I'll never forget a comment I received in reference to working with a child with DS; that wouldn't it be nice to have a kid who was happy and affectionate all the time instead of a "normal" one with mood swings. That's the kind of stereotype I was referencing, but if it came out wrong, it wasn't my intent.
The point of my response was not to say that individuals with disabilities evoke regret or that they ruin lives. I could go on and on about the ways in which my students and family member have bettered my life in astronomical ways. And I know their parents feel the same. My reply was mainly in reference to the "other" side of things.
While the experiences of my friends aren't necessarily your experience, I offered my perspective in response to some of what I read here, prior. I hope my explanation makes sense. I'm sure your daughter, like any other child, blesses and fulfills you and your family in amazing ways. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
-
@deerylou: Thanks. I do appreciate that.
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite1
126 comments